"Who's Poppa?," Scene A

"Who's Papa?" aired on January 16, 1979.  The Final Draft, with the spelling of "Poppa," was submitted over a month and a half earlier, on November 29th.  And there would be changes in more than spelling.

Act One starts in the "girls' apartment - evening."  But the filmed episode actually starts in the Shotz break room, as Shirley is impatient to go home.  Laverne is securing her locker from chewing gum thieves.

Here's how the scene in the draft goes:

SHIRLEY IS HANGING A BANNER THAT READS "WELCOME HOME - ROBERT" OVER THE ARCHWAY TO THE BEDROOM.

SHIRLEY

Hurry up, Laverne.  Bobby is gonna be here any minute.

LAVERNE

I'm comin', I'm comin'.  I just gotta get this twinkie cream off my face.

LAVERNE COMES OUT DRYING HER FACE WITH A TOWEL.  SHE WALKS STRAIGHT INTO THE BANNER, TEARING IT IN TWO.

LAVERNE

Ooooo.  I'm sorry, Shirl.  It's still okay.

SHIRLEY

No, it's not.  (PICKS UP ONE END) Welcome ho... (PICKS UP OTHER END) ... me Robert.

LAVERNE

You want me to stand here?

SHIRLEY

No, forget it.

LAVERNE TAKES GUM OUT OF HER MOUTH AND STARTS TO STICK THE SIGN TOGETHER.

LAVERNE

I can fix it.

LAVERNE SEALS IT TOGETHER WITH HER GUM.

SHIRLEY

Well, now it looks shabby.

LAVERNE

Well, it's just for your brother.  It's not like Elvis is coming.

SHIRLEY

He's a Feeney, Laverne.  We're two peas from the same pod.  In our family, neatness counts.  I remember when we used to clean our rooms together, brush our teeth together, and we even used to take baths together.

LAVERNE

And all I got to play with was suds.

The part about Shirley and Bobby dressing alike did make it onscreen.  Lenny and Squiggy stealing Laverne's gum obviously was not in the draft.

Here's what came after Shirley's "seersucker sportscoat" in the script:

DOOR OPENS, EDNA ENTERS FOLLOWED BY FRANK.  EDNA, WITH SOME DIFFICULTY, IS CARRYING A ROLLED UP COT.

EDNA

Hi, girls.

FRANK

We brought this cot for your brother.

EDNA

We brought the cot?

FRANK

I told you, I got a sprained wrist.  I can't lift anything heavier than an anchovy.

EDNA SHAKES HER HEAD.  LAVERNE TAKES THE COT FROM EDNA, UNWRAPS THE CORD TIED AROUND THE MIDDLE, AND THE PIECES FALL TO THE FLOOR.  LAVERNE, SHIRLEY AND EDNA STRUGGLE TO PUT THE COT TOGETHER WHILE FRANK WATCHES.

LAVERNE

Doesn't look too comfortable, Pop.

FRANK

Well, you gotta put it together.

SHIRLEY

I'm sure it'll be fine.  Bobby's just gonna be glad to be here.

EDNA

How long has it been since you've seen him?

SHIRLEY

I saw him two years ago on Thanksgiving, but he hasn't been back to Milwaukee in over ten years.

FRANK

He was a cute little kid.  I taught him how to throw a football.

LAVERNE

That's when you broke the window in the butcher shop.

FRANK

Threw good, caught lousy.

EDNA

(GIVING UP ON THE COT) This thing is impossible.  Maybe Bobby would rather sleep on the couch.

FRANK

What's the matter?  I used to put them together in Anzio in the rain.

EDNA

Great.  You do it, I'll speak Italian and spit on you.

The only part of this that made it onscreen was Shirley not having seen Bobby in two years, which she tells Laverne in the break room.  The second onscreen scene opens with Shirley's voiceover that they should set up the cot because Bobby will be here any minute.  Then the adaptation is pretty faithful for awhile, although Robert was supposed to tickle Shirley rather than playfully punch her back.

In the script, Robert calls Frank "Uncle Frank," rather than the more formal "Mr. DeFazio" that aired.  Also, it's Laverne, rather than Frank, who points out in the draft that Bobby will be staying at the girls' place two nights.

This was omitted:

SHIRLEY

I don't want you [Bobby] to stay in a hotel by yourself.

LAVERNE

I could go with him.

SHIRLEY STOMPS ON LAVERNE'S FOOT... LAVERNE REACTS.

LAVERNE (CONT'D)

Or, I could stay here and soak my foot.

Furthermore, in the script Robert says of Frank, "I'll just get him started on his war stories.  Did you ever hear the one about how he put cots together in Anzio?"  On the other hand, Shirley's high-pitched love for her family album was added, I'm going to guess by Cindy W.  The "short man with dark hair" turning out to be little Shirley was another addition by the time of filming.

Oddly enough, we get a very specific birthdate for Robert, and it has to be wrong.  He is, according to his birth announcement, " 'born to Mr. and Mrs. Jack Feeney, August 14, 1938.' "

The last line of the filmed scene, Laverne's that they wouldn't have given Shirley the book if she were adopted, is not in this script.

Many thoughts:

• I think the main reason they added the break room scene is to give the boys a little more to do, a change from all the scripts that offer us more of Lenny and Squiggy than filmed canon would.
• Remember, Kids, junk food causes accidents.
• We would later learn, in both versions that Shirley and Bobby are only fourteen months apart.  I'll discuss what that does to chronology shortly, but here I'll point out that it's like they were raised as twins, even more so in the script.
• This is another of those scripts where Frank pushes around Edna, and I can see Betty Garrett putting down her spiked heels about that.  At least Edna threatens to spit on him.
• Still, yeah, more about Frank and Anzio.
• So the question is, where did Shirley have Thanksgiving two years ago?  My guess is either with her mother in California, or with one of her out-of-town brothers, maybe the one who graduated from heavy equipment school.
• This is now late '60 or early '61.  Let's say Bobby hasn't been to Milwaukee since he was 12-ish.  Where was he during his teens?  I mean, I don't think Shirley ever moved away from Milwaukee until the big move to Burbank.  Did Jack get custody of Bobby and maybe some of the other brothers?  Clearly Shirley had at least two brothers around to warn her against petting.
• Even onscreen, the DeFazios clearly haven't seen Bobby in years.  I'm going to guess he stayed with one of the many uncles and/or aunts in the Feeney family, for whatever reason.  Possibly near enough for Shirley to visit, because she would've been heartbroken to be separated far from him when they were younger.
• Also, Frank and Bobby are closer in the script than they are onscreen, which is interesting.
• Another difference, Laverne more obviously, as the script puts it, "finds him unexpectedly attractive."  The deleted lines are very telling, like about the hotel.
• OK, so if Bobby was born in August 1938, then Shirley was born in October 1939.  Unless she skipped a grade, she couldn't have graduated in 1956.  Furthermore, in Season Six, she and Laverne are a total of 54 years old in, I believe, '65.  It's not impossible but it's unlikely.
• I do like that they remembered the first name of Shirley's father though.
• Note that at the time of this script, none of the guest roles had yet been cast, but Ed Begley, Jr. is 6'4" rather than 6'2", although he does fit the bill of the blond hair and blue eyes that Laverne is delighted by.

"Dinner for Four," Scene E

All three versions of the tag are set at the Pizza Bowl, but it's night in the final draft, day in the shooting script, and who knows what time onscreen.  Here's how it starts out in the draft:

IT IS CLOSING TIME.  FRANK AND EDNA ARE PUTTING THE CHAIRS UP ON THE TABLES.  FRANK FINDS ONE WITH GUM ON THE BOTTOM.

FRANK

Look at this, more gum on my chairs.  I see anybody chewing anything in my restaurant, out they go!

EDNA

Frank, you can't do that.  You'll go broke.

FRANK

It's either that or I glue mouse traps under every chair.

LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY ENTER.

LAVERNE

Hi, Pop.  Hey, how was the opera?

FRANK

Great.

SHIRLEY

You see, Laverne, expose someone to the world of culture, and next thing you know, you have yourself a patron of the arts.

LAVERNE

You really liked the opera?

FRNK

Yeah, I loved it.

EDNA

I hated it.

FRANK

You're right, the opera stunk.  But the fight in the balcony was terrific.

LAVERNE

Oooh, people were fighting in monkey suits.

FRANK

Yeah, you shoulda been there.  Some guy kept cracking his knuckles, so this fat lady next to him bopped him with her purse.  A big wad of bills fell out and everyone went nuts.

EDNA

That was no excuse for you to hit the usher.

FRANK

He was going for my twenty.  I saw it first.

SHIRLEY

Perhaps patron of the arts was a bit premature.

FRANK

No, this culture junk is fun.  Next week I'm going to the ballet and bringing a stick.

FRANK STARTS OUT.  LAVERNE GOES AFTER HIM.

LAVERNE

You know, Pop, I bet you'd love mud fighting.

FRANK

Oh yeah?  They got change in the mud?

LAVERNE AND FRANK EXIT.  SHIRLEY AND EDNA START OUT.

EDNA

Shirley, would you like to go to the ballet with me?

SHIRLEY

Mrs. Babish, I would love to.  But I think I'll bring a baseball bat just in case.

THEY EXIT.

The only part of this that lasted to the shooting script was Frank liking the opera:

LAVERNE, SHIRLEY AND EDNA ARE SEATED AT A TABLE.

  SHIRLEY    

Mrs. Babish, would you like to come over for dinner tonight?

EDNA

I'd love to, but I can't.  Frank and I are going to see "Madame Butterfly" again.

LAVERNE

Pop's going again?  What'd you do, make out in the balcony?

EDNA

I tried.  He just wanted to listen to the music.  I think I created a monster.

FRANK ENTERS AND BRINGS THE GROUP A PIZZA.  HE IS SINGING OPERA.  THREE CUSTOMERS LEAVE.

LAVERNE    

Pop, your singing ain't good for business.

FRANK

It's not the singing.  I got a shipment of bad cheese.

FRANK PUTS PIZZA DOWN ON THE TABLE.

FRANK (CONT'D)

Enjoy your meal.

FRANK EXITS SINGING.

EDNA

From now on I'll take him to museums.

SHE EXITS FOLLOWING FRANK TO BACK.

SHIRLEY 

I don't think I want any pizza, Laverne.  This cheese is slightly green.

LAVERNE

Maybe Pop should save it for St. Patty's Day.

And even this version of Frank loving the opera didn't make it to air.  Instead, the aired tag starts with the boys entering with the ant farm.  (But the pizza onscreen does look a little green.)  In the shooting script, Laverne says, "Don't let them [the ants] near the pizza," but onscreen she encourages Lenny to throw pizza at them.  The filmed version ends with Squiggy's classic "from up here" line, but in the script that's followed by "Everyone tries to clean up the ants."

Thoughts:

• On the one hand, it's nice to have some kind of payoff (well, two kinds) for Frank and the opera, but both versions are sort of flat.
• All three versions make me reassess my wish to eat at the Pizza Bowl.
• I do like Edna and Shirley bonding after the DeFazios exit in the draft.
• It feels a little out of character for Laverne to ask Edna about making out.
• In "That's Entertainment," we'd learn that Frank hates opera because his parents loved it, but I'm not sure if that's any more canonical than this.
• These two scripts are not as wildly different from each other, and what aired, as the "Porcupine"/"Drive" pairing.  The basic idea was there but some things got trimmed, including sadly some stuff with the boys, in an episode that is partly about the girls learning to treat their friends better.

"Dinner for Four," Scene D

We return to the "girls' apartment - a short time later."  In the draft, there's this opening:

THE GIRLS ENTER.

SHIRLEY

I'm so ashamed.  When Lenny and Squiggy get down here, I hope we can get them to forgive us.

LAVERNE

Yeah, we have to do whatever it takes to make it up to them.

SHIRLEY

Right, as long as we don't have to touch them.

In the shooting script and onscreen, the girls' epiphany about the parallels doesn't happen until after they enter "in an obvious rage" and vent a little.  Laverne yells up to the boys through the dumbwaiter, but Shirley reminds her they're at the picnic/fish fry.

In both scripts this is what happens:

LENNY AND SQUIGGY BURST IN.  SQUIGGY CARRIES AN ANT FARM.

But in the draft, Squiggy's line is "This better be important, cuz Lenny and me was counting the ants in our ant farm," and Lenny adds, "And you made us lose track.  It's very hard getting ants to sit still."  In the shooting script, Squiggy says, ""Well, did you call us down here to rub more salt in our wounds?", while onscreen Squiggy asks if the girls want the boys to eat their garbage.  Lenny's line in the shooting script about the girls running them over with a truck did, however, make it onscreen.

Laverne telling them, "We're trying to talk to you like human beings," and Lenny's retort, "Good luck," were added for the filmed version.

From the girls' apology to Lenny mixing up weekends, this section of the draft made it all the way to on the air.  However, this is the last page of the scene in the draft:

SQUIGGY

Yeah, see Lenny got his shindigs mixed up.  Today was the annual Henry Boobar Weenie Roast and Ant Safari.  (DISPLAYING HIS ANT FARM)  We used our weenies for bait.

LENNY

That gives us a whole week to brush up on our mud fighting.

SHIRLEY

I can barely wait.

SQUIGGY

You won't have to.  We can recreate an actual mud fight using ordinary leftovers.  Len, see if they got any mashed potatoes.

THE BOYS MOVE TOWARD THE KITCHEN.

LAVERNE

Get out of here.  Out.... out....

THE GIRLS START PUSHING LENNY AND SQUIGGY OUT THE DOOR.  THE BOYS DROP THE ANT FARM ON THE FLOOR AND IT SHATTERS.

LENNY

Quick, throw them some weiners [sic].

And Act Two ends with them all "dashing after the ants."  The ant farm is unexplained in the Shooting Script until the tag, and it's wisely left out of the filmed version of this scene.  And what we get in the later script and onscreen is the boys heading for the bedroom, but in the shooting script is this dialogue:

SQUIGGY

Follow us.

LAVERNE

We said we'd go anywhere, not do anything.

SHIRLEY

And we thought they had feelings.

And it ends with the girls going to "get the boys out of the bedroom."  Onscreen, however the boys escort the girls to the bedroom, there's a mostly offscreen struggle, and the injured boys stagger out, having gotten "nothing" off the girls, but "that's a start."

Thoughts:

• Shirley, even at this point, is reluctant to touch the boys, but Laverne doesn't feel that strongly averse.
• I think the epiphany about the girls' treatment of the boys works better here than in Scene C, because there's too much going on in the scene at Rob's apartment, and it works better for the girls to see the parallels after more time has passed and they're alone.
• The Ant Safari sounds awesome.
• The mashed potatoes make me think of Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977), but I don't know if that was intentional.
• I prefer the innocence of the boys and their ant farm to either version of them going in the girls' bedroom, but at least we'd get the ant farm in later tags, which I'll discuss next time.

"Dinner for Four," Scene C

Act Two opens at "Rob's Apartment - night."  Here's how it goes in both scripts:

THE APARTMENT IS ULTRA MODERN, WITH OCCASIONAL TOUCHES THAT GIVE IT A "JUNGLE FLAVOR".  ON ONE WALL THERE IS A SET OF DOUBLE DOORS (HOLDING A MURPHY BED), FLANKED BY TWO LARGE POTTED PALMS.  ALONG WITH SOME LIVING ROOM FURNITURE AND A WET BAR.  THERE IS A SMALL KITCHEN AREA, AND NEARBY IS  A DINNER TABLE ELEGANTLY SET FOR FOUR.  UPSTAGE IS A SMALL HALLWAY, PRESUMABLY LEADING TO A BATHROOM/DRESSING AREA.  THE APARTMENT IS DARK AS LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY ENTER, WEARING THEIR BEST DRESSES.  THEY CARRY THE LASAGNA, BREAD, WINE, ETC.

SHIRLEY

(AS THEY ENTER) Were we supposed to tip that doorman?

LAVERNE

Sure, didn't you see his eyes light up when I gave him that garlic bread.

SHIRLEY FINDS THE LIGHT SWITCH AND TURNS ON THE LIGHT.  THEY GASP, WIDE-EYED AT THE APARTMENT.

SHIRLEY

My my, very elegant.

The exchange about the doorman is omitted onscreen, and Shirley's line is sort of Frenchified.  On the other hand, the electric stove exchange wasn't in the draft.  In the draft, Laverne thinks Shirley is screaming about a spider or a cockroach rather than corsages.  However, the "ringworm" line didn't show up until the shooting script.  

They dropped this exchange from the draft about the jungle-themed Murphy bed:

SHIRLEY

Holy moly.  This is disgusting.  I mean leopards, and zebras...

LAVERNE

Shirley, the man's an animal doctor.

SHIRLEY

You don't think these are patients that didn't pull through, do you?

LAVERNE CLIMBS ON THE BED.

SHIRLEY (CONT'D)

Don't do that, they're gonna know you were playing on it.

LAVERNE

(POSING ON THE BED) Lemme set the scene for you.  Holli Loki, the jungle princess, waits in her hut.  Suddenly at the door there he is, her mate, Kanooka Ooka La La.  The king of Tonga Tonga.  She is ready for a night of passion.

SHIRLEY

I can hear the drums beating.  Boom, bop bop boom.

LAVERNE

Holli Loki trembles, "Yes, Kanooka Ooka La La, take me, take me."

SUDDENLY THE BED STARTS TO CLOSE.

LAVERNE (CON'TD)

Shirl, he's takin' me.

In later versions, Shirley worries that it'll look like they planned the whole thing, by taking the bed down.  So the girls try to put the bed away and Laverne gets trapped.  Then in all three versions, there are the various shenanigans with the girls in the bed.

In the draft, Shirley complains, "I'm being crushed.  I can't take it.  I've got very fragile bird bones," and Laverne replies, "Who cares, I think I got a spear pokin' my buns."

In the shooting script and onscreen, the girls freshen up in the bathroom, with a quick dissolve for the latter.  But in the draft, they lay on the bed sweaty and exhausted, and then this happens:

AS THEY LAY FOR A MOMENT AND FINALLY GET CALM, THE BED STARTS TO RISE AGAIN.  THEY TRY TO CLIMB OFF THE TOP BY GRABBING THE BEDSPREAD, BUT THAT SLIPS OFF AND THEY SLIDE DOWN AGAIN AS THE BED CLOSES UP.  THEIR HEADS ARE THE ONLY THING SHOWING.  THEY POKE OUT OF THE TOP OF THE BED.

SHIRLEY

This is what happened to Holli Loki?

LAVERNE

Nah, they got thrown in a volcano.  That's what they always do to virgins.

TOM, HANK AND TWO GIRLS ENTER.  THE GIRLS WEAR LOW CUT EVENING GOWNS AND ARE OBVIOUSLY NOT THEIR SISTERS.  DURING THE FOLLOWING, INTERCUT GIRLS REACTING.

ROB

Well, ladies, this is the place.  Why don't we settle down, and you'll be served our romantic dinner for four.

HANK

Where are those girls we hired?  They were supposed to have everything ready.

CHRISTINE 

Good help is so hard to find.

LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY STARE AT EACH OTHER, UNDERSTANDING THE SITUATION.

HANK

They had the key.

VERONICA

Well, I hope they didn't steal anything.

SHIRLEY

We're not thieves.  We're honest bottlecappers.

EVERYONE TURNS AND STARES AT LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY.

LAVERNE    

Hi, nice to see you.  I think we'd like to leave now.

ROB GOES OVER AND PULLS DOWN THE BED.

ROB

What are you doing there?

SHIRLEY

You ought to be ashamed to have a bed like this.  And you, a healer of small beasts.

LAVERNE

Forget that, Shirl.  Look, there's been a misunderstanding.

In the later versions, Hank comes in and has a conversation with the girls while they're in the "powder room."  Then Rob brings their real dates in. There's no description of Veronica and Christine in the shooting script, just their names.  Most of the rest of shooting script version of the scene made it in, although they skipped Shirley's observation to Laverne, "There's no reason to feel bad, we can just sell this to Reader's Digest as our most embarrassing moment."  And Christine says that it's the girls' "own dumb fault for thinking they were good enough to go out with you," while onscreen she thinks that the girls should be happy to pick up some cash.

In the draft, Veronica calls Hank "Hanky." And there's a realization that wouldn't come until Scene D in the later versions:

SHIRLEY

How can you do this to us?  We have feelings, you know.  If you cut us, do we not bleed?

THEY GIRLS PAUSE A BEAT.  THEY REALIZE THAT THIS SCRIPT HAS A MATCH.  

And then a little later, there's this:

LAVERNE

We deserve it.  We did the same thing to Lenny and Squiggy.  We didn't care about their feelings.

SHIRLEY

Who knew they had feelings?

Veronica has another bitchy remark, "Can you imagine, Hank and Rob having dinner with the kitchen help?"  And when Rob suggests that L & S go home and V & C will serve, Christine objects, "We will not.  They were paid to serve, let them serve.  It's not your fault they're stupid enough to think you'd go out with the likes of them," which obviously turned up in a different form in the later versions.

The girls do "serve" lasagna and salad to the dates (although they don't directly punish the guys in any version), but Shirley's part is more drawn out in the draft:

SHIRLEY

Just a cotton pickin' minute.  This bimbo's pushed me too far.  This time Shirley Feeney needs her own taste of revenge.  I haven't tossed the salad yet.

SHIRLEY TURNS AND WALKS BACK TO THE TABLE.  SHE PICKS UP THE SALAD BOWL AND IS ABOUT TO DUMP IT ON VERONICA'S HEAD.  SHE CRINGES AND DUCKS.  SHIRLEY STOPS IN HER TRACKS, TURNS, WALKS BACK TO LAVERNE STILL CARRYING THE SALAD BOWL.

SHIRLEY (CONT'D)

I don't know if it's in my nature, Laverne.  (BEAT)  Bully pucky, I'm steamed.

 And then, as onscreen, she flings a handful of salad at Veronica.

Thoughts:

• There are some things in the draft of the early part of this scene I wish they'd kept:
• The doorman
• Shirley's disgust at the animal prints
• Shirley's bird bones
• Holli Loki is not one of them, because of the mild racism.
• The spear is poking Laverne's buns.
• The girls being trapped in the bed when the guys and the dates enter might've been too cartoonish even for this series.
• Not only are Veronica and Christine actually bitchier in the draft, but the guys come off a little worse, too.
• I'll discuss the girls' realization about the boys when we get to Scene D.
• And "steamed," swearing Shirley is glorious.

"Dinner for Four," Scene B

We go to "Laverne and Shirley's Apartment - evening."  This is in both scripts:

ONE OF SHIRLEY'S GOOD DRESSES IS HANGING NEAR THE DOOR.  A SHOPPING BAG AND SEVERAL ITEMS ARE ON THE KITCHEN TABLE.  SHIRLEY IS IN THE KITCHEN.

But then this is how it goes in the draft:

LAVERNE ENTERS FROM THE BEDROOM CARRYING A RED DRESS AND A BLACK DRESS.

LAVERNE

(HOLDING UP DRESSES) Hey, Shirl, which one of these goes better with lasagna?

SHIRLEY

Well, red is a good color for you.  It's bright.  It's exciting.

LAVERNE

And it won't show if I spill sauce on it.

SHIRLEY

Good thinking.  Now, let me have the checklist, you pack the bag.

LAVERNE HANDS HER A LIST.

This is the version in the shooting script:

WE HEAR A SCREAM.

SHIRLEY

Laverne, what's the matter?

LAVERNE ENTERS IN A ROBE RUBBING HER BEHIND.

LAVERNE

My back garter broke.  It flipped and up and slapped me in the hiney.  Now my stockings will be down around my ankles.

SHIRLEY

Otherwise you'll look like one of those bag ladies in the park who feed the pigeons.

LAVERNE

What'll I do?

SHIRLEY

You can borrow one of mine.  Now, I have the check list.  You pack the bag....

Neither version made it to air and the scene onscreen begins with the girls going through the checklist of ingredients.  Laveren's sexy "apron" nightie was not in the draft but it was in the shooting script.

Since we don't get the boys in the shooting script or the onscreen version of Scene A, it's here that the Teamster's picnic is mentioned, although it becomes a fish fry onscreen, which is better.  And in the later two versions, the girls' promise was last month, rather than just the day before, so it's more understandable that they'd forget.  The practice mud not having worms in it was not yet in the draft.

In the shooting script and onscreen, the girls flat out tell the boys about their other date, and the "ex-serviceman" joke comes up in the former version, but Squiggy confuses "veterinarians" with "vegetarians" onscreen.  Here's the more indirect version in the draft:

LAVERNE

(REMEMBERING, TO SHIRLEY) The picnic.  We said we'd go with them.

SHIRLEY

Relax, Laverne.  I'll handle it.  (TO THE BOYS) I'm very sorry but, Laverne and I aren't going with you guys, we have other plans.

SQUIGGY

Wait a minute.  Stop beating up my bush.  Give it to me straight.

SHIRLEY

I did.  We're not going out with you.

SQUIGGY

Well, this is a sad day in Mudville.

Squiggy's "Elmer Fudd" line goes back to the draft.  However, in the draft, Squiggy calls the girls "walking sleeze [sic] machines," rather than the more characteristic "walking she-devils."  (For some reason, "walking" would be dropped by the time of filming.)  His "little soldier" line to Lenny continued, in the draft: "...I know you're hurting now, but chances are they're going to make you feel a lot worse," which would prove sadly true, just counting later that season.  In both scripts, Squiggy calls Laverne an "unfeeling harlot"!

And then instead of Shirley calling herself "a stick in the mud," the draft had this:

SHIRLEY

You don't really expect us to cancel a date with two gorgeous animal doctors to go out with you, do you?

LENNY

(FINALLY GETTING ANGRY) Why not?  We cancelled a date with two animals to go out with you.  You know, we're practically human beings.

And then came his Shakespearean soliloquy about being cut etc.

The girls don't try to go after the boys, as they do in later versions.  In the draft, Squiggy says of the Tishler twins, "I'm sure their doctor will let them out," rather than the later line about the twins knowing how to treat men in mud.

After the boys "exit in a huff" in the draft, there was this exchange:

LAVERNE

I know it's crazy, but I feel bad about standing up Lenny and Squiggy.

SHIRLEY

Let's talk about your feelings for a moment, shall we?  Think how rotten you'd feel about missing dinner with two very desireable [sic] bachelors, to sit in mud with Lenny and Squiggy.

LAVERNE THINKS A BEAT, THEN OPENS THE DUMBWAITER.

LAVERNE

(CALLING) Lenny!  Squiggy!

SHIRLEY

Laverne!  What are you doing?!

LAVERNE

Tellin' them to move their truck.  They double parked next to us and we'll be late for dinner.

The twist of one of the Tishler twins being male was there by the shooting script:

A few more thoughts:

• The opening bits are cute but I can see why they were cut for time.
• "Stop beating up my bush."
• The girls, especially Shirley, are less sympathetic to the boys in the draft, so I'm glad that was softened, although they still of course should've gone to the fish fry/ picnic.  (They could've skipped the mud perhaps.)
• Do I want to know about the boys' date with "animals"?

"Dinner for Four," Scene A

On November 1, 1978, the Final Draft for "Dinner for Four" came in.  The Shooting Script was completed five days later.  And four weeks after that, the episode aired.  I will be comparing all three versions.  First though, here are notes from the Shooting Script:

The time on Tuesday I assume was the shooting schedule.  Bob Kern was Robert James Kern, who edited 61 episodes from '76 to '79, far more than any other "series film editor" for this series.

In the draft we get an exterior shot of "Pizza Bowl - establishing shot - night," with a "closeup of sign on front door of Pizza Bowl reading: 'Private party tonight -- Milwaukee Veterinary College.' "

Then there's an interior of the Pizza Bowl at night:

THE PIZZA BOWL HAS BEEN RENTED FOR A PRIVATE PARTY.  INSIDE, A BANNER READS: 'HAPPY GRADUATION.'  THE ROOM IS FULL OF HANDSOME, WELL-DRESSED YOUNG MEN, WEARING NAME TAGES.  FRANK IS BEHIND THE COUNTER.  LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY ARE WAITRESSING, DRESSED APPROPRIATELY.  THEY ARE VERY BUSY AND REALLY HUSTLING.  FRANK POURS.  SHIRLEY IS WAITNG TABLES.  LAVERNE IS TALKING TO FRANK AND HOLDING A PIZZA IN HER HAND.

By the shooting script, the interior sign has been changed to "Welcome Milwaukee Veterinarians."  And Frank is now "talking to two handsome doctors, Rob and Hank."  And that's what we'd see onscreen.

Laverne and Frank's exchange about one of these guys being "the father of Frank's grandchild" was added, as was Frank's semi-coherent remark about pizza during The War.

In the draft, after Frank exits to the kitchen, this is the girls' exchange:

LAVERNE

Shirl, tell me again how all this hard work is gonna pay off and that I'm not bustin' my patootie for nothin'.

SHIRLEY

I don't have to tell you.  Just look around.  Every single one of these guys is a brand new veterinarian.  That's almost as good as a doctor.

By the time of the shooting script, Laverne would already know that they're doing this for the young, handsome animal doctors.  Shirley's half-whispered story about the veterinarian and his patient, and Laverne's delighted disgust, would emerge sometime between the two written versions.  On the other hand, this part, after Shirley says, "Maybe he loved her," did not make it onscreen:

LAVERNE

Maybe it was one of these guys.

SHIRLEY

No, it was in 1840.

LAVERNE

Are any of you guys named Ripley?

 In the draft, there's a bit more of Frank's objections to his date with Edna:

FRANK

(TOPPING A PIZZA) We got busy.  I can't go.

EDNA

Sure you can.  Laverne can take over for you.

FRANK

I ain't got nothing to wear.

EDNA

I brought a suit.

And a little later, there's this, because Edna actually cries:

FRANK

Stop crying.  I hate when you cry.

EDNA

Do you hate it more than the opera?

FRANK

I dunno.

EDNA CRIES LOUDER.

FRANK (CONT'D)

I hate cryin' more.  We'll go.  Laverne, Shirley!!!

In the shooting script and onscreen, Edna instead threatens to hit Frank.

And after Frank summons the girls, the draft has this:

LAVERNE

Pop, where's that beer for table five?  I'm falling behind.

FRANK

Good.  You got everything under control.

SHIRLEY
No, Mr. DeFazio.  We're getting swamped.

FRANK

I'll get out of your way.  When you get a chance you can deliver these pizzas.  (HANDS HER SOME ORDER SLIPS) I gotta go get dressed up and listen to some fat broad yell in Italian.  (TO EDNA) You tricked me. I though "Madame Butterfly" was that fortune teller on South Street.

HE GOES BACK TO CHANGE.

EDNA

I better go back and help.  He gets his fingers caught in the bow tie.

SHE EXITS.

LAVERNE

When are we gonna have time to deliver pizzas?

SHIRLEY

More important.  When are we gonna have time to talk to those gorgeous vets?

LAVERNE

Look, we're the bosses now.  We can do whatever we want.  Which one do you want to talk to?

LENNY AND SQUIGGY ENTER, AND SNEAK IN BEHIND THE GIRLS.  LENNY APPROACHES LAVERNE AND PUTS HIS HANDS OVER HER EYES.

LENNY

Guess who?

LAVERNE

I smell Polish sausage.

LENNY

(TO SQUIGGY) She guessed.  Now what'll we play?

SHIRLEY

We don't have time for games.  Can't you see we're busy?

SQUIGGY

Okay, we'll skip the details.  We're here to announce that you girls have the privilege of escorting us tomorrow to the Annual Teamsters Picnic.

LAVERNE

Why would we want to do that?

LENNY

They got mud fights.

SHIRLEY

Gee, fellas, it sounds so tempting, what can we say but, no.

THE GIRLS GO BACK TO WORK.  LENNY AND SQUIGGY CONFER FOR A MOMENT.

SQUIGGY

Don't worry, Len.  I'll outsmart them.

LENNY

Against your mind, they don't stand a chance.

SQUIGGY

(TO LENNY) Thank you.  (TO THE GIRLS) I bet you ladies could use some help to relieve your delicate female forms of this drudgery.

LAVERNE

Yeah, we sure could.  Why, you guys volunteering?

LENNY

Sure.  We could help clear tables.

SHIRLEY

While we talked to the vets.

SQUIGGY

Entertain the servicemen all you like, but we'd want some gratitude.  What do you say to the Teamsters picnic now?

THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND AGREE.

LAVERNE

It's a deal.  Start with that table.

THE BOYS CROSS TO THE TABLE.

SQUIGGY

(TO CUSTOMERS) Okay, clear out!

LENNY CLEANS OFF THE TABLE WITH ONE SWOOP OF HIS ARM.  BEER, ETC. FLIES EVERYWHERE.  SOME OF IT LANDS ON TWO CUTE GUYS.

SHIRLEY

I think that's enough help for one night.  Why don't you boys go home?

LAVERNE

Yeah, but don't leave empty handed.  Deliver these pizzas on the way.

LENNY

Then you're going tomorrow?

LAVERNE

Yeah, yeah.  Now get going and don't drop them.  And don't eat them.

SQUIGGY

Try to look nice tomorrow for the picnic.

LENNY

Wear your Sunday best.  Remember you'll be seen with us.

In the shooting script, there's no sign of the boys, but after Edna' "makes Frank's hand gesture," there's this:

FRANK

I can't go.  I'll prove it.

HE CALLS GIRLS OVER.

FRANK (CONT'D)

Laverne, Shirley.

GIRLS COME TO FRANK

FRANK (CONT'D)

Tell her how I can't leave you all alone with this room full of customers.

LAVERNE PUSHES THE SUIT INTO FRANK'S ARMS.

LAVERNE

See ya, Pop.  Have a wonderful time.

SHIRLEY

Tell us how it ends.

FRANK

Can't trust anybody.

FRANK EXITS.

EDNA

Good luck with the veterinarians.  Hope you find two with cold, wet noses.

SHE EXITS.

Onscreen, there's a time-skip instead to the part where Laverne is "wiggling and squiggling," to the point that Shirley tells her her tail is wagging.

In the shooting script, the girls argue over Rob and Hank as "the dark haired guy" and "the blond," while onscreen both men have dark hair, so it's instead about what they're wearing.  Also, in that script "the guys stand up, showing their sizes," so the girls switch to match better by size.  Onscreen, the guys keep sitting for awhile.

In the draft, this happens after Lenny and Squiggy exit:

THE GIRLS GO OVER TO ROB AND HANK'S TABLE.  ROB HAS A BEARD.  THEY ARE WIPING SPILLED BEER OFF THEMSELVES.

SHIRLEY

Oh, we're terribly sorry.  Look at this, Laverne.  Cheap beer on their expensive synthetic suits.

SHIRLEY TRIES TO CLEAN HANK'S SUIT WHILE LAVERNE TAKES A NAPKIN AND STARTS TO WIPE ROB'S BEARD.

LAVERNE

And they got beer all over your beard.  We can make it a beer shampoo.  (SHE STARTS RUBBING THE BEER INTO HIS BEARD)  Ooh, this is soft.

ROB

Thank you.  That's very nice.

LAVERNE

My pleasure.  Is there anything else we can do to make this up to you?

Then Rob brings up Laverne's father boasting about her lasagna.  In both scripts, Laverne says, "I'm not going to cook lasagna for forty veterinarians," but onscreen Shirley agrees about Laverne being a wonderful cook, and Laverne adds that she'd be a wonderful mother.

Somehow the two guys leaving because they have to "suture a cat" became them "neutering a duck"!  After they exit, the draft has the following:

LAVERNE

Oh, I'm gonna get to kiss my first beard.  Hope I don't laugh if it tickles.

GIRLS STARE AT ADDRESS FOR A MINUTE IN DISBELIEF.

SHIRLEY

I cant believe it.  Two animal doctors.

LAVERNE

Yeah, we really stepped in it this time.

In the shooting script, Shirley would ask, "Is this what they call scoring?", which became "getting lucky" by the time of actual filming.

Onscreen, when Frank emerges in evening clothes and top hat, Edna points out that his fly is open, and the scene ends soon after.  Here's what was left in both versions of the script:

LAVERNE

Pop, you look like a million bucks.

FRANK

I'd rather have the money.

SHIRLEY

You look positively stunning.  It's a shame to waste that fabulous look in a dark theatre where no one can see you.

FRANK

She's right.  I'm puttin' my other clothes back on.

EDNA STARTS USHERING FRANK OUT THE DOOR.

EDNA

You want people to see you?  You can ride on the hood of the car.

EDNA PUSHES FRANK OUT.

There's a bit more in the shooting script:

GIRLS WALK OVER TO THE GUYS [sic] TABLE AND START CLEANING IT.

SHIRLEY

I love their aftershave.  It made me weak in the knees.

LAVERNE

I think it was ether.

SHIRLEY

Makes sense.

Many thoughts:

• The "1840" exchange makes Laverne sound dumb, so I'm glad it was dropped.
• I'm not crazy about Edna threatening violence against Frank, but I prefer it to her crying manipulatively.  
• And I think I prefer the girls pushing Frank to go on the date to their resistance in the draft and the time-skip onscreen.
• Polish.  Sausage.  That Laverne can smell.
• Of course Lenny has faith in Squiggy's mind.
• The confusion about "vets" would resurface in the shooting script.
• I kind of like the boys making a mess of cleaning.  I mean, at least it serves a plot purpose, sort of, although the girls manage to introduce themselves to Rob and Hank without it in later versions.
• The boys' exit lines are cute, and somewhat reminiscent of Lenny's exit lines in "Hi, Neighbor, Book II."
• It's not a great scene for them, but I kind of wish it was in there.  The shooting script and the filmed version would have a different set-up for the picnic date, and this may affect the impact on the viewer/reader, which I'll discuss when we get to Scene B.
• I like Edna's exit line.  I'm not crazy about Frank's description of opera.  
• Also, Edna helps Frank get dressed, implying some intimacy.
• God, the image of Frank riding on the hood, dressed like that!
• "Squiggling."
• Rob and Hank's appearances definitely went through some changes.  And Laverne sure is turned on by Rob's beard in the draft.  (A joke on Penny about Rob Reiner?)
• I like the "expensive synthetic suits" line.
• The "ether" exchange is especially tasteless if you remember "Angels of Mercy."

"The Bully Show," Scenes E and H, and the invisible tag

So, "continuous action" means right after the previous scene.  That means we don't know what's happening at the girls' apartment, but not much time passes.

Squiggy's admission that they sleep in the bathroom "twice a week" isn't in the script and was probably Lander's addition.  In the script, Frank's immediate advice to the boys is "Brush your teeth after every meal," rather than the more characteristic advice that they should go home and stay there.

In the script, Lenny says "hypodermical situation" rather than "hypothetical situation."  On the other hand, the Squiggism of "candy-lopes" wasn't originally there.  Neither was Edna scolding Frank for breaking another mop.

Otherwise, the scene ended up onscreen as is.  

The next scene is in the living room, again with continuous action, so only a few minutes have passed since the end of Scene D.  In the script, while Laverne is trying to unlock the door, Biff "has the wastebasket off, sees Laverne is about to escape and puts it back on his head."  Unless this was filmed and not shown, it would've revealed to the audience before Laverne that he was definitely faking being more hurt than he was.

Laverne's line "Maybe I killed him" isn't in the script and neither was "I have a headache."  However, they did drop Laverne saying, between Biff jumping up behind her and throwing her on the couch, "What a dumb bimbo," a line that hurts in its victim-blaming, although less than what we'd get in "Monastery."

Laverne kissing Squiggy in gratitude was added, perhaps by Penny M.  And Laverne holding Boo Boo Kitty for comfort as the boys apologize is a nice little touch onscreen.

The rest of the scene is unchanged, except that the scene, the act, and the script originally ended with Laverne saying, "What am I gonna do.  Get naked and watch 'Sea Hunt'."

Onscreen, we would get a tag with Shirley coming home, Laverne claiming nothing happened in her absence, and Shirley discovering the change in BBK.

My main thought is that that has to rank as one of the worst ending lines to any of the scripts, with Laverne joking about one of the lies she told Biff for her own protection.  Although I'm not crazy about the added tag, at least it gives us a little closure on BBK.  Still, maybe it's worse that we learn onscreen that Laverne doesn't tell Shirley about the attempted rape.  At least in this version, we can believe that Shirley was there to rage at Biff and comfort Laverne.

"The Bully Show," Scenes C and D

 

The last scene of Act One is also set in the "girls' apartment - later that night."  Oddly enough, the "Lovely to look at" line that Laverne sang on the original filmed version (preserved on VHS, but not on DVD) is not in the script.  Surprisingly, this is the only change, except for Biff  at the end "looking at Laverne with an evil grin," when he's not showing teeth so I don't think it counts as a grin.

Scene D opens Act Two, in the same setting, with "continuous action," so no time passed during the commercial break.

This was dropped:

BIFF IS ADVANCING ON LAVERNE

BIFF

Now, you gonna take off the dress?  Or I'm gonna have the pleasure of doin' it for you.

LAVERNE

Biff, you're a charmer.  You come right to the point.  And, any other night I would love to accommodate you, but tonight my roommate's here, and she's a prude.

BIFF COMES UP BEHIND HER AND OBSERVES.  SHE DOESN'T NOTICE HIM.

LAVERNE (CONT'D)

(CALLS TO SHIRLEY) Hey, Shirl... (AS SHIRLEY) Hi, Laverne.  (AS LAVERNE) What're you doin'?  (AS SHIRLEY) I'm just cleaning my shotgun.  (AS LAVERNE) Make sure you keep Fritz, our Doberman Pincher [sic] tied up.  (AS SHIRLEY) Don't worry, Laverne.  Have a real good time tonight.

BIFF IS OVER HER SHOULDER.  SHE TURNS SLIGHTLY AND REALIZES SHE IS CAUGHT.

LAVERNE (CONT'D)

I can throw my voice.

BIFF

I can throw people.

This was omitted at the end:

BIFF

He's gone.  [Meaning Carmine]

LAVERNE MOANS O.S.

BIFF (CONT'D)

But the cat's fixed.

LAVERNE MOANS AGAIN O.S.  BIFF SMILES, PICKS UP BOO BOO KITTY.

BIFF (CONT'D)

I don't want to hear a peep out of you tonight.

And the award for Most Uncomfortable Symbolism in a shooting script goes to....

Yeah, Biff is actually creepier in this version.  I didn't think that was possible.

"The Bully Show," Scene B

THE APARTMENT IS EMPTY... THERE IS NOISE OUTSIDE.  WE HEAR LAVERNE MUMBLING.  SHE KICKS OPEN THE DOOR WITH HER FOOT.  BOTH OF HER ARMS ARE FILLED WITH CLEAN LAUNDRY IN TWO BASKETS, WITH CLOTHES ON HANGERS DANGLING FROM HER MOUTH.  SHE GOES TO LITTLE TABLE BY COUCH.  TAKES HANGERS OUT OF HER MOUTH.  SUDDENLY SHE NOTICES SOMETHING MISSING AND BEGINS TO RIFLE THROUGH CLOTHES.

LAVERNE

Where's my blue turtleneck?  My favorite blue sweater.  Oh, don't tell me I put it in the laundry.

LAVERNE STARTS TO TAKE OUT THE LAUNDRY... SHE HOLDS UP A TINY TURTLENECK SWEATER WITH A TEENSY L.  LAVERNE ATTEMPTS TO STRETCH THE SWEATER BY STICKING HER ARM IN THE SLEEVE.

LAVERNE (CONT'D)

Maybe it will stretch.  No, I guess not.  (RESIGNED)  Aw, I'll save it for Laverne Junior.

That opening was dropped and the filmed scene begins with Laverne hanging up clothes and then Carmine coming in with his cramped foot.

They omitted this while Laverne is massaging Carmine's toe:

LAVERNE

Hey, Carmine, I was wondering if you've met anyone interesting lately.  Maybe someone I don't know about.  A cute stranger.

CARMINE

I did meet a cute stranger.  That girl in the butcher shop was cute and strange.

LAVERNE

A cute stranger for me.  That kind of talk is going to get this little piggy in the hospital, Carmine.

LAVERNE TWISTS CARMINE'S FOOT.  HE GRIMACES.

CARMINE

You got it.  That's it.  But now I've got this pain in my back.

Then the Manxing of Boo Boo Kitty happens.  A lost line is Carmine's sweet "I love this cat."

Most of the dialogue with Laverne and the boys is intact, but they omitted Laverne saying of Mexican Louis, "Sure, you fixed me up with him once, too.  A wonderful way to ring in the New Year."  And then Squiggy would say, "He was a gifted man, Laverne.  Just not much of a talker."

The boys very slowly making their way to the door was added.

A few thoughts: 

• The opening bit with Laverne and the laundry is cute, although I could do without a reference to "Laverne Junior" in this episode.
• We get more of Laverne being desperate to go out, and frankly I don't want that set-up in this episode.
• Sue me, but I like the extra Mexican Louis detail.

"The Bully Show," Scene A

 

A COUPLE OF WORKERS ARE MILLING AROUND AND EATING.  LAVERNE ENTERS.  SHE IS STANDING ON A HAND DOLLY BEING WHEELED IN BY A GUY, PAULIE.  

LAVERNE

Okay, over to the doughnuts, Paulie.

HE WHEELS HER AROUND THE COFFEE COUNTER.  SHE GRABS A DOUGHNUT AND PUTS A DIME IN THE CUP.

LAVERNE (CONT'D)

Wait.  Forgot a napkin.

WHEELS HER BACK TO COUNTER.

LAVERNE (CONT'D)

Oh, I wanted a jelly doughnut.

WHEELS HER BACK TO COUNTER.  SHE EXCHANGES DOUGHNUTS.  HE WHEELS HER OVER TO THE LOCKERS, DODGING THE SCRAMBLING WORKERS.  HE STOPS SHORT AND SHE FALLS OFF.  SMUSHING DOUGHNUT IN HER FACE.

LAVERNE (CONT'D)

Good pushing, but bad stopping, Paulie.

SHE WIPES HER MOUTH.  SHE STILL HAS DOUGHNUT.

PAULIE

See ya, Laverne.

LAVERNE

(WIPES MOUTH) Hey, Paulie, how come you never asked me out anymore?

PAULIE

Laverne, I asked you out for two years, but you were always busy, so I finally gave up.

HE TURNS TO EXIT.  SHE STEPS ON THE DOLLY AND PULLS HIM BACK.

LAVERNE

Never give up.  Today's your lucky day.

PAULIE

How so?

LAVENRE

Shirley went to Indianapolis for two days.  Her brother is graduating heavy equipment school.  The big rigs, it was his dream.

PAULIE

That's nice.

LAVERNE

Anyway, tonight's our bowling night, and I need a partner.

PAULIE

Can't.  I'm getting married tomorrow.

LAVERNE

Great, then you're free tonight.  It's supposed to be bad luck to see the bride the night before anyway.

PAULIE

Tonight's the stag party.  Hey, you want to jump out of the cake?

LAVERNE PONDERS A MOMENT.

LAVERNE

Jump out of the cake.  No, thanks.  I'm just getting over a cold.  Give my regards to the lucky little woman.

PAULIE EXITS.  LAVERNE LOOKS AROUND THE ROOM AND STOPS A LIVE ONE AT THE COKE MACHINE.  HIS BACK IS TO HER, HE IS WEARING A LEATHER JACKET ON WHICH READS: "JIMMY."

LAVERNE (CONT'D)

Hey Jimmy.  Got the house to myself tonight.  How'd you like me to cook for you?

HE TURNS AND WE SEE THAT HIS NECK IS IN A BRACE.  THERE'S A BANDAGE OVER ONE EYE AND HIS TEETH HAVE BEEN WIRED TOGETHER.

JIMMY

(THROUGH THE WIRE) Can't.

LAVERNE

Oh, sure, you had an accident.

JIMMY

No, I got a date.

LAVERNE LOOKS DISAPPOINTED.

JIMMY

Keep your chin up.

JIMMY WALKS AWAY.

LAVERNE

(TO HERSELF) Gee, two turn downs in a row.  And they weren't even guys I liked.

That all got wisely dumped and replaced with a morning scene between the girls, before Shirley leaves.  I'll tell you right now that Shirley is not in this version of the script, for whatever reason, although she is on the cast list.  I'll discuss her absence when we get to the added tag scene.

The brewery scene is the next thing onscreen, and it starts with Laverne offscreen but onstage as Lenny and Squiggy enter with Biff, "a muscular new foreman."  The boys feeding Biff was added, and for some reason it's originally Lenny rather than Squiggy who Biff "playfully punches, almost decking him."

In the script, Squiggy calls Laverne "you shapely creature," rather than the more original "you shapely instrument of torture."

In the script, when Biff starts threatening the boys, Squiggy asks him, "Are you starting a reign of terror?"

Other than that, there are no changes.

Thoughts:

• The thing with Laverne being wheeled around starts out cute and becomes annoying.
• And then it gets worse, with Laverne asking out not one, but two guys she doesn't even like, one of them practically married!  And they both turn her down.  In another script, this might work, but it does not belong here, especially with the message that Paulie should've kept trying, even after two years of no's from Laverne.
• I feel like this is setting up Laverne to indeed seem "loose as a moose," with her considering jumping out of a cake and acting so desperate with these two guys.  At the least, she is a bit amoral for not respecting Paulie and Jimmy's prior commitments.
• Also, good Lord, what the hell is Jimmy doing at work in that condition?  OSHA apparently wasn't founded until 1971, but still.
• I'm not even a hater of this episode and I feel like this version already makes everything worse.  I shudder to imagine what problems earlier drafts had.

"The Bully Show" script introduction

So, when I originally reviewed this episode a couple years ago, not having seen it since at least the '80s, I had no idea how controversial it was/is in the fandom.  I have since seen it a couple times, including unedited on VHS, and I might drop from a B- to a C+, but there are still things I like about it.  I have a copy of the Rev. Shooting Script, dated September 26, 1978, five weeks before the episode aired, with enough time for changes.  Whether these are for the worse or better, you will see.  But for now, I'm just going to post the pre-script stuff, like wardrobe notes:

First up though, a list of the extras:

I'm assuming that these were the regular background players, but I don't have other lists to compare them to for brewery scenes.  As for the speaking characters, we have Richard Crystal as Paulie and Daniel J. Foster as Jimmy.  They will be in Scene A, but not onscreen.

No real surprises here, although at least we get to see what Paulie and Jimmy would've worn.  And, yes, they work at Shotz, as you'll see next time....