"Death Row: Part 1"

"Death Row: Part 1"
November 16, 1982
D+

Sigh.  This episode.

When I thought of Season Eight before this project, this was one of the episodes I thought of, although my main thoughts were "Laraine Newman" and "anachronisms."  Well, yes, this episode has both, but I can see why I blocked the rest out. 

At fourteen, I had the feeling that the whole "RALPH" (Radical Action for Love, Peace, and Happiness) thing was at least five years off, feeling like a satire of the Symbionese Liberation Army.  Like Patty Hearst in 1974, Laverne joins a radical group, but she's not kidnapped but is instead hungry for friendship and male companionship.  Even more than joining the Playboy Club, this episode shows how lost Laverne is becoming without Shirley as her conscience.  At a certain point, I had to question her intelligence, and her street-smartness, especially when, even in the midst of a bank robbery, she doesn't get that these people are not her friends.

The comedy, such as it is, becomes unsettling, even when Laverne is again imitating Marlon Brando and Eleanor Roosevelt.  Even a slapstick armed robbery is an armed robbery.  Still, I was willing to just say that this was one of the worst episodes ever, not the absolute worst, until we got to "Smith and Jones."

Ben Powers on Good Times

Laraine Newman (who I usually liked and still like) has been playing her character throughout the episode as some sort of hippie Valley Girl.  (She says "gross me out" at one point.)  Then we get to the police station and, even though Sheba has betrayed Laverne and never seemed that bright to begin with, Laverne follows her example by giving a false last name.  (They, or at least writers Braunstein & Perlow, are so lazy they don't even bother with first names.)  These just happen to be the names of two female prisoners who are about to go to Death Row.  So let's not bother with fingerprints or paperwork, OK?

All that said, I didn't hate the episode.  It has a certain surrealness to it, in all its details, and it puts Carmine in a corncob costume and Rhonda in a "Mexican bride" costume (and has her speak in a Swedish accent).  But I can't say I waited with bated breath to find out Laverne's fate the next week, and I'm not now racing to watch Part 2.  But I'll get it over with, I promise.

Bank Manager Garry Goodrow previously played Mr. Caulley.  Doris Hess, who was Dolores and Sgt. Shannon before, would return in Part 2 as Kluger.  Ben Powers, who's Aaron, the leader who does celebrity impressions, would play Rick West in the final episode.

"The Most Important Day Ever"

Ta-da!

"The Most Important Day Ever"
October 13, 1981
C

So the Tuesday night ABC line-up was intact for the moment, as Happy Days entered Season Nine, L & S Season Seven, and Three's Company Season Six (now with Terri as the blonde roommate).  A lot had changed over the years, and I'll be honest right now, I probably remember even Season Eight of this show better than I do Season Seven.  The title of this season premiere is ironic, since it's a very forgettable episode, although I can make some observations.

Most obviously, the credits are similar to Season Six but with some significant changes.  Lander & McKean get a well-deserved bump up to having their names in the opening credits.  Although Rhonda is absent this episode, she is shown in the end credits, as she was in the previous season.  Sadly, Betty Garrett is gone (busy doing theater), although Edna's absence wouldn't be addressed until the next season I believe.

The opening and end credits now feature New Year's 1966, and the kitchen calendar is still a 30-day month that starts on a Monday, but it now says 1966, which doesn't match up to any month in 1966!  Oh, and Laverne is a Capricorn, putting her birthday in the first month of winter.

The writers of this episode, Gene Braunstein and Robert Perlow, were TV newbies who would go on to write, among other things, some of the more memorable episodes of the second half of the run of Who's the Boss?  This is actually the first thing Braunstein wrote for television, while Perlow did "The Diner" episode back in Season Five.

The episode begins with a shot of a lake, and we find out a couple minutes later that Laverne's boyfriend's wife pushed Laverne into a lake.  Shirley tells Laverne how to spot married men, which Laverne soon has an opportunity to put to the test because Lenny and Squiggy have mysteriously invited six Latvian men to stay in the girls' apartment, and Laverne decides to try the "international language" of flirting.  The men are actually acrobats, and there's not any reason for the boys, or Carmine, to keep this a secret.  Surprisingly, Shirley admits to "cruising the side-streets of Smut City" to get Carmine to talk, but to no avail.  ('The Ragoo boy" by the way has much shorter, less curly hair this season.)  Laverne kisses the Latvian, who speaks no English, and of course his wife catches them.  This eventually leads to the girls having to be "ta-da girls" for the act on the Hollywood Palace TV show.  And of course the girls have no opportunity to rehearse before being thrown into the air repeatedly.

When, after a frantic but not terribly funny fight breaks out in the living room, the girls decide to talk to the boys when things are calmer.  They each call to the one they think is dumber, Lenny for Shirley, Squiggy for Laverne.  Shirley threatens Lenny, who finally tells them what's going on.  Of course, the most interesting part of this sequence is Lenny's sympathy when Shirley pulls the popsicle off Laverne's injured lip.  (Squiggy, in contrast, blames "Laverne DeFloozio.")

Hey, at least Lavenny is still a thing in Season Seven, so there's that.  But the writing will hopefully pick up soon, because this is definitely the weakest season premiere of L & S so far.