"Councilman De Fazio"

"Councilman De Fazio"
May 3, 1983
C

What it says on the tin: Frank runs for City Council and, after seeming to lose badly, wins.  And Laverne spends most of the episode home with mono, so she's not involved much.  However, it's nice to see Squiggy get the girl for an entire episode and perhaps beyond.  And Mary the waitress gets at least her second line of the series.  (She had to say something the time Mr. DeFazio accidentally locked her in the restroom overnight.)

Dottie Archibald plays Reporter Karen and was Mrs. Swisher last season, and in fact co-wrote this episode with Francis T. Perry Williams, who had played a Policeman earlier in this season; and Phil Foster, who'd written another episode about his character in '78.  TV Anchorman Wayne Powers had three previous minor roles on this series.

"Do the Carmine"

"Do the Carmine"
March 15, 1983
C

If you can get past all the anachronisms in this episode, the only one written by Jay Grossman (don't get me started on how backmasking was more of an '80s thing than '60s), this isn't bad, especially for Season Eight.  I do want to note that Rhonda is definitely nicer this season than she was in Season Six, here even offering to help Laverne make dozens of sandwiches.  And there are some nice Carmine moments, with Squiggy and Laverne.  Also, this is at least the third California episode with a Bob Dylan reference.

Oh, and while the previous episode had a couple Shirley references, this one has an exchange where Squiggy tries to hit a jukebox like "that kid we knew back in Milwaukee," and Carmine says, "Arthur?"  Not only that, but Laverne says that dancing with a broom as a teenager made her have a thing for "tall, skinny blond guys"!

Jay Leno's role as Bobby Bitts (sort of a West Coast Dick Clark) is less memorable than his appearance four years earlier as Laverne's boyfriend Joey Mitchell.

"The Baby Show"

Just a thought: couldn't Laverne have claimed to
be, say, three months pregnant?  Who would know?

"The Baby Show"
January 18, 1983
C

Judy Pioli's last L & S script is OK I guess, especially for Season Eight, but when it gets to the point of a divorced Sgt. Plout giving birth on top of a coffin, you know that any resemblance to reality (even sitcom reality) has long been abandoned.  Still, any episode that jokes that a baby looks like Squiggy is going to make me smile.  Oh, and I'm not sure if Alvinia having to bathe a pig doll is a reference to the L & S cartoon, but I'm going to assume it is.

Besides Lawrence's farewell to L & S, this is the last bow for other repeat guest stars.  Timothy Blake's third and final role on the show is Gail, Neil Thompson's fourth and final is the Funeral Director, William Sumper's fifth and final is Morry, and Lynne Marie Stewart's seventh and final is Marsha.

"The Gymnast Show"

"The Gymnast Show"*
December 14, 1982
C

Monica Johnson, who contributed the classic "Honeymoon Hotel" episode and a couple others, here bows out with a not very original but not terrible story.  Laverne dates a gymnast, really a trapeze-artist, played by 54-year-old Adam West, which made me sort of wish the episode had been about Laverne on a Batman episode.  Instead, Edgar Garibaldi is obsessed with his dead ex, who looks like Laverne.  But it's OK, because he's not actually a killer.  Whew!  Oh well, the costumes and sets are good and I was mildly amused.

Note that in the tag, Rhonda fixes up the not-yet-abandoned-by-Edna-according-to-airdates-rather-than-production-order Frank.  DeVera Marcus, who previously was a Reception Nurse, here is Esmerelda the bearded lady.


*IMDB has this as just "The Gymnast," but in this form it marks the second Season Eight episode, after "The Playboy Show," of several with this title format.

"I Do, I Don't"

"I Do, I Don't"
January 5, 1982
C

This Begel & Kite story isn't as bad as the previous episode but it does have a central flaw that it can't get past.  Shirley has an opportunity to have a wedding with all expenses paid, so she drafts Carmine as groom.  This isn't like when she got him to play groom for a few minutes so she and Laverne could use the honeymoon suite she won.  And it isn't like "I Do, I Do," since no one is stoned.  (Or being made to marry at gunpoint.)  She puts her dream wedding ahead of the wishes and wants of a man she claims to love, and it is only at the last minute, after he's reluctantly agreed in order to make her happy, that she comes to her senses.  At least Lenny and Squiggy are around to wear stunning "best man" tuxedos as they squabble over the position.

Note that this episode contains some free-floating innuendo, as Laverne compliments Carmine's (fishing) pole after he ogles her in her slip, and Squiggy compliments Rhonda's "cat" (Boo Boo Kitty, who attends but does not participate in the wedding).  And there is sort of a Shirerne shipping moment, when Laverne tells Shirley, "I love you but I can't marry you."

Minister John Miranda was Man in Restaurant the previous season.

"The Most Important Day Ever"

Ta-da!

"The Most Important Day Ever"
October 13, 1981
C

So the Tuesday night ABC line-up was intact for the moment, as Happy Days entered Season Nine, L & S Season Seven, and Three's Company Season Six (now with Terri as the blonde roommate).  A lot had changed over the years, and I'll be honest right now, I probably remember even Season Eight of this show better than I do Season Seven.  The title of this season premiere is ironic, since it's a very forgettable episode, although I can make some observations.

Most obviously, the credits are similar to Season Six but with some significant changes.  Lander & McKean get a well-deserved bump up to having their names in the opening credits.  Although Rhonda is absent this episode, she is shown in the end credits, as she was in the previous season.  Sadly, Betty Garrett is gone (busy doing theater), although Edna's absence wouldn't be addressed until the next season I believe.

The opening and end credits now feature New Year's 1966, and the kitchen calendar is still a 30-day month that starts on a Monday, but it now says 1966, which doesn't match up to any month in 1966!  Oh, and Laverne is a Capricorn, putting her birthday in the first month of winter.

The writers of this episode, Gene Braunstein and Robert Perlow, were TV newbies who would go on to write, among other things, some of the more memorable episodes of the second half of the run of Who's the Boss?  This is actually the first thing Braunstein wrote for television, while Perlow did "The Diner" episode back in Season Five.

The episode begins with a shot of a lake, and we find out a couple minutes later that Laverne's boyfriend's wife pushed Laverne into a lake.  Shirley tells Laverne how to spot married men, which Laverne soon has an opportunity to put to the test because Lenny and Squiggy have mysteriously invited six Latvian men to stay in the girls' apartment, and Laverne decides to try the "international language" of flirting.  The men are actually acrobats, and there's not any reason for the boys, or Carmine, to keep this a secret.  Surprisingly, Shirley admits to "cruising the side-streets of Smut City" to get Carmine to talk, but to no avail.  ('The Ragoo boy" by the way has much shorter, less curly hair this season.)  Laverne kisses the Latvian, who speaks no English, and of course his wife catches them.  This eventually leads to the girls having to be "ta-da girls" for the act on the Hollywood Palace TV show.  And of course the girls have no opportunity to rehearse before being thrown into the air repeatedly.

When, after a frantic but not terribly funny fight breaks out in the living room, the girls decide to talk to the boys when things are calmer.  They each call to the one they think is dumber, Lenny for Shirley, Squiggy for Laverne.  Shirley threatens Lenny, who finally tells them what's going on.  Of course, the most interesting part of this sequence is Lenny's sympathy when Shirley pulls the popsicle off Laverne's injured lip.  (Squiggy, in contrast, blames "Laverne DeFloozio.")

Hey, at least Lavenny is still a thing in Season Seven, so there's that.  But the writing will hopefully pick up soon, because this is definitely the weakest season premiere of L & S so far.

"The Survival Test"

"The Survival Test"
March 11, 1980
C

Richard Gurman's only L & S story, which inspired the Aidekman & Garrett teleplay, has Sgt. Plout return from Greenland and get the girls to agree to help her prove that WACs are capable soldiers, by dropping them into the snowy wilderness.  There were moments when I thought this was a shade better than the first Plout episode, including Lawrence's material (like her tale of a "brief and brutal affair"), but it was hard for me to get past the fact that L & S were in this situation only because of Plout, including her dropping the bag with their food into a river! 

Note that the rest of the regular cast doesn't appear in this episode, except for Laverne's hallucination of Lenny and Squiggy in shorts and offering her a fifteen-pound turkey.  Also, this is at least the fourth episode this season where Laverne refers to "monkey nerves," although this time Shirley cures them with a banana.  Freud would probably have more fun analyzing this episode than I did.

"Not Quite South of the Border"

"Not Quite South of the Border"
January 7, 1980
C

So a new decade dawned and ABC realized that it had been a mistake moving Laverne & Shirley over to Thursdays, so they shifted the girls over to...Mondays?  I was an ABC sitcom loyalist well into the '90s and I can't think of any of their shows I ever watched on Mondays.  I'm guessing, but Mondays that season I was probably watching Little House on the Prairie on NBC, with occasional WKRP over on CBS.  I have absolutely no memory of this episode from the time, even as a summer rerun.  But maybe that's because it's not very good.

The idea in this story, the only one written by Susan Seeger, collaborating with Deborah Leschin, isn't a bad one, with the girls taking a cheap vacation in "Near Mexico," although if they'd taken Frank's advice to visit Laverne's grandmother in Brooklyn again, I'd have been perfectly happy.  It's the execution of the story, with timing of dialogue off and the physical comedy not really working, although I can see everyone, including the special effects crew, throwing themselves into it, as I listen to the studio audience roar with laughter like it's a classic I Love Lucy episode or something.  I didn't find the episode painful or anything, and I of course liked the stuff with Lenny and Squiggy wanting to stow away in the luggage (with Lenny almost eating Laverne's garter belt), but as with the "army" special, I just don't see the point of this episode.

Billy Sumper's middle of five L & S roles is as Lou, while Neil Thompson's second of four is as Fred Frick.  And Peter Elbling's final "foreign" role on the show is as Jose.  Carmine is absent, although you'd think he'd want to see Shirley off.

"We're in the Army Now"

She'll be back, yay?

"We're in the Army Now"
November 15, 1979
C

This Franklin & Ervin story shows that the series was trying to mix things up in the sense of keeping them fresh, but I'm afraid that this one-hour special mixes them up in the sense of not getting what makes the series work.  The girls have been at Shotz for five years with no promotion, a company record, while the boys have been promoted from truck drivers to semi-truck drivers, because they're "semi good."  The girls decide to join the Army, even though Shirley describes herself as nonviolent.  (We even see her with a daisy in her gun barrel, like it's the late '60s rather than the early '60s.)  They screw things up and then succeed too well, so that they have to try for a Section Eight to get out.  Luckily, they can now go into the Reserves (like Lenny, although it's not mentioned).

They at first have a pushover sergeant, but then they meet Sgt. Alvinia T. Plout.  I generally like Vicki Lawrence and she's certainly giving it her all.  Unfortunately, she hasn't really been given anything funny to do.  The highlight of the episode is of course when the boys, eager to help get the girls out of their uniforms (cue the leering and hand-biting), bring in a "Trojan Horse" that looks like a Shetland pony.  I just don't understand why, even for a one-hour special, the girls would be taken away from their able supporting cast, and into a hackneyed situation. 

Now, I can take or leave Army comedies.  I enjoyed the sitcoms Bilko and of course M*A*S*H, and I recently found Biloxi Blues better than expected, but I don't feel like Franklin & Ervin do anything fresh here.  It's as if just putting Laverne & Shirley in the Army is supposed to automatically make us laugh, but it didn't work for me then or now.  In fact, I remember being less than thrilled at 13 to see that this episode inspired the Laverne & Shirley cartoon, although there their sergeant was a pig.  (OK, voiced by Ron "Horshack" Palillo, but even so.)  I guess I can just be glad that the regular series didn't stay in the Army.



The Blue Team contains, among others, Susan Barnes, Joie Magidow and Ruth Silveira, who previously were Adele Harrison, Fish Trainer, and Karen respectively, while Frances Peach of the Red Team was Mary before.  Doris Hess was Dolores and is Sgt. Shannon here, while Julia Payne was Charmayne and is Colonel Turner here.

"O Come All Ye Bums"

"O Come All Ye Bums"

December 19, 1978
C

I actually prefer "Oh, Hear the Angels' Voices" as a Christmas episode to this meh entry written by Price & Nathan, since that had Howard Hesseman and more memorable musical numbers.  Even Squiggy and Lenny as respectively an elf and a fairy doesn't save it.  The not-quite-O.-Henry ending of Laverne and Shirley exchanging Elvis pictures that they've autographed was my favorite moment.

Hamilton Camp plays the lead bum, Rags, but he doesn't make the sort of impression he would on Three's Company or M*A*S*H, among other places I know him from.  The role of the bratty Kid is Scott Marshall's only L & S appearance, although the then nine-year-old son of Garry had already been on Happy Days four times out of his five and would do two cameos on Mork & Mindy.  Wayne Powers seems to be playing a completely different Policeman than in the "dog pound" episode, since he has no memory of meeting Laverne, unless this is set before that.  And Lynne Marie Stewart's third part on the show is Sister Sarah.

"Steppin' Out"

Rosie seems to have a
different hairstyle in every
 episode, but then she
 is comparatively rich.

"Steppin' Out"
February 8, 1977
C

This Deborah Leschin story feels like filler.  The girls try to get ready for a big date but things keep going wrong, including a fire breaking out in the neighborhood.  Not that they're terribly concerned about their neighbor, but the water being shut off in their building does affect their grooming.

Not shipping notes per se, but both Lenny and Squiggy leer at Laverne when they see her in her slip, and Squiggy asks if Shirley is "naked, too."  Oh, and Carmine is still seeing "that divorcy" Lucille.  (I'm assuming they never went to Europe, or that's just not going to be mentioned again.)

"Angels of Mercy"

"Angels of Mercy"
October 5, 1976
C

In the episode where the girls found out that their old friend had become a nun, Shirley claimed that they were candy-stripers, while here it comes true.  Unfortunately, I didn't find the episode, written by Bickley and Warren, particularly funny.

Charles Frank returns as Jerry Callihan, the cute writer neighbor that Laverne has a crush on.  (In fact, it turns out everyone in the building but Jerry knows this.)  She does his laundry and feeds fish, and even agrees to work in the hospital to try to win him over.  He doesn't ask her out until she's honest with him (offscreen), but then we never see him again.

Meanwhile, Shirley has dreams of meeting and marrying a rich doctor, dreams that she refuses to give up on, even after a doctor attacks her in a supply closet, ripping her uniform and trying to give her ether!

Mekka is credited, but I'm pretty sure he couldn't have been in any of the scenes, even in first run.  There aren't really any shipping notes, although it is weird as an adult to see Shirley straddle a sleeping patient while trying to help Laverne change his bed linens.  Also, the opening credits for Season Two have wisely dropped "DeFazio" and "Feeney."

"One Flew Over Milwaukee"

"One Flew Over Milwaukee"
March 23, 1976
C

This Warren & Bickley episode, with its Cuckoo's Nest title, is the weakest so far, although not without interest.  It was the middle of the Season One episodes to air, although it's clear that it was made before the previous episode, since Lenny was already in the Army Reserves there, while here he's joining up.  It's also the first time we actually see him and Squiggy with dates, and in fact, Squiggy's hello-entrance is with his tall date, Dolores (Doris Hess, who would return twice each in two different roles, in '79 and '82).  Note that Laverne asks Lenny about his "little date," not in a jealous way but certainly with more curiosity than she shows over who Squiggy is dating.

And there's definitely some Shirmine shipping, as he's protective and concerned about her when her pet bird flies away and she literally waits by the window, while it's snowing, for the bird to fly home.  I felt like too much of the episode was about Shirley's near-obsession with the bird, which while it may reflect Williams's love of animals, just isn't that entertaining to watch.  And if she has to sing "Sixteen Tons" to lull the canary to sleep, couldn't she do that in the living room rather than disturb poor Laverne?  Still, this episode's "friendship" moment is when Laverne buys a new bird for Shirley, who then realizes she's gone overboard.

Oh, and I think this is the first episode that uses the window of the basement apartment for comedic effect.  As I recall, this set became a character in itself as the show went on.  (Until the move to California of course.)

 Michael Kidd has only one other directing credit, from '58.