"Blansky's Beauties," Episodes Number Nine and Ten

"Nancy Meets Pa Bates" aired on April 16th.  Some things of note:

• In the opening, some of the Beauties flirt with Joey, and then Arnold wishes he was Joey.  So I guess he's widowed or divorced by this point?  ("Arnold's Wedding" had aired on March, 2, 1976.)  Or just a flirt?  I need to know this for my Nanold fic.
• I don't know if I've ever mentioned it, but the dance numbers are terrible.
• "I didn't mean to poke you with my pole."
• I'm not even Southern and I'm offended by the "Arkansas" character.
• Anthony asks Sunshine to help him get dressed.  Is this the creepiest twelve-year-old on '70s sitcoms or have I mercifully blanked out on the rest?  (OK, Little Earl on What's Happening!! had his moments, but he was only nine.  And hitting on a thirteen-year-old.)
• Scott Baio in a leisure suit.  Yes, I'm going to screen-cap this....
• Pa Bates is such a hick he's never heard of slot machines.
• A gambling addiction?  This must be a Very Special Episode.
• Arnold has a Rhonda-like tendency to refer to himself by his first name.
• Charo reference.
• Wow, that is the first thing on this series I actually laughed at, Nancy slapping a man for saying, "Let's shoot craps"!
• They repeat the slap gag a few times.  Nancy and guest Warren Berlinger actually have good comic timing on it.
• "Tomorrow I'm gonna have chitlin foo young on the menu."
• Nancy and Arnold are going hiking in the desert and he promises her a good time.  See, you ship it now, right?
• And Anthony hits on three girls his own age, playing spin the bottle.
• This is Joe Glauberg's only BBeauties script, but he did write ten Happy Days episodes, including the historic My Favorite Orkan.

"To Nancy with Love" aired on April 30th.  Here are my notes:

• Random Laverne cameo in the opening.
• I could've lived my life happily without ever hearing Arnold sing, or call his waitresses "hot to trot."
• Second laugh, Nancy's reaction to the intercom.
• The camel is named Irma.
• Oh, goody, a reprise of the "French Foreign Legion" number.  Except, the camel doesn't actually show up this time.
• This is one of four episodes that Alan Rafkin directed, but the only one on this disc.  And Warren S. Murray is back, after doing the pilot.

"Blansky's Beauties," Episode Number Eight

"Nancy Meets Laverne" aired on April 9th and here's a running commentary (time-marks may be approximate):

00:17 "I'm Laverne DeFazio and tonight I'm one of the Blansky [sic] Beauties."

02:00 Written by Roger Garrett and directed by (once again) Jerry Paris.

02:18 Scott Baio hits on Lynda Goodfriend again, with his character being twelve as a selling point.

04:14 Marvin the Bellhop returns.

04:46 Shirtless Eddie

05:25 Flashback begins with the "Welcome Milwaukee Visitors" tower.

05:31 "1957" appears on the screen!  So Laverne is nineteenish, right?

05:47 Nancy, with a '50s hairstyle but otherwise not de-aged is greeted in her hotel room by Frank DeFazio.

06:00 Frank is smoking a cigar!  Also, he's running the benefit that she's in town for.

06:30 "Incidentally, my daughter, Laverne, is a good dancer, you know."

07:38 Laverne walks in and of course the crowd goes crazy.

08:10 Laverne is starstruck, by Nancy.

08:50 Nancy was a big Broadway star?  How did I miss that earlier?

09:35 Laverne wants an autograph for her "best friend, Shirley Feeney."

10:10 Laverne is imitating Señor Wences.

10:44 "I just got my first part-time job, down at the brewery."  So it was only part-time then?

10:50 They started her off as a barrel-roller, but she hopes to be promoted to either bottle-capper or labeller.  Also, she's taking a stenography class.

11:02 Nancy offers her a job as secretary.

13:00 Penny and Nancy have decent comic chemistry together and I wonder what they could've done with stronger material.

13:43 Laverne offers to drive Nancy to the rehearsal hall, although she admits she drives "not real good."  Canonically, Laverne at this point is afraid to drive and does not yet have her license in '57.

13:46 Laverne admits she can't drive at all.

14:40 "Pfister Convention Center Sons of Sicily Benefit for Underprivileged Children"

14:43 Frank is hosting.

16:16 Nancy's dance partner, a male butcher, can't go on because his shop caught on fire, so it'll have to be Laverne.

16:57 When Laverne reluctantly agrees, she asks if she can sew an L on the costume.

17:27 Fortunately, the costume fits perfectly.

17:33 "Nancy Blansky and my little muffin."

17:44 "Fit as a Fiddle" from Singin' in the Rain

19:32 Nancy invites Laverne to Vegas, which of course would've eliminated Laverne & Shirley.

21:05 Laverne doesn't want to go to Vegas.  She's going to stay in Milwaukee and work in the brewery.

21:34 Laverne plans to get a roommate and move out and then meet a fella and move out to get married and have a family life.  But by this point, more than six months after graduation, Laverne should be living with Shirley already, according to not-yet-aired canon.  And we know it would actually be "...Get fired from the brewery, move with my roommate and our best friends to California.  And then she'll marry a guy completely covered in bandages, get pregnant, and she'll move out."

22:51 Back to the present.

23:14 Joey has to decide if he wants Cochise more than dancing.

23:33 Joey bites his hand!

23:50 Nancy encourages him to take a break from dedication.

24:42 Nancy gets eaten by an inflatable raft.

Maybe a C+, I don't know.  Not bad for this series, but not on the level of Season Two of LAS.

"Blansky's Beauties," Episodes Two Through Five

"Blansky for the Defense" aired on February 19, 1977.  A few things of note:

• We learn a little about Joey and Nancy's backstories, including that Joey hopes to break into show biz, so I guess that runs in the family.
• Joey does some acrobatic flips at the custody hearing, because you know, Garry figured that's what Eddie should do.
• The combined writing talents of LAS's Judy Pioli, Marc Sotkin, and Chris Thompson still can't make me laugh at this series.  Not even with Jerry Paris borrowed from Happy Days for the time being.

"Nancy's Cover-Up" aired on February 26th (except IMDB has it as the fourth episode).  Here's what I can tell you about it:

• In the girls' opening intro, Arnold Takahashi "from Miami Beach, Florida" pops up!  This is about four months after the last episode Mr. T and Tina (nothing to do with the later famous Mr. T).  How does Pat Morita's crossover character fit in?  Well, he's a fry cook at his own coffee shop.  (And apparently also lives in Nancy's apartment building.)  I have no idea what he's been doing in the dozenish years since his last canonical appearance on Happy Days, Season Eleven, in 1983.  (Yes, it hurt my brain to type that.)  He's still trilingual (English, Chinese, and Japanese).
• A sample of the writing on this series, the British Beauty observes, "Such a pity this country outlawed flogging."
• How desperate is this show that they bring on a live camel this early in the run?  Or that they promise that the girls might go topless?
• The word "kinky" is used no less than six times (including in Nancy's line "I want the world to know that Nancy Blansky is kinky"), which seems like a lot for a Garry Marshall show.

"Nancy's Magic Moment" aired on March 12th (except IMDB has it as the third episode).  Here's more than you ever wanted to know about it:

• Well, they're getting their money's worth out of the camel at least, including in the French Foreign Legion number.
• "Ministers applauding a stripper?"  And the surprise there is what?
• They're not very consistent about how many "Beauties" Nancy manages, since it seemed to be ten and then twelve and now it's thirteen.  Or maybe she keeps hiring new ones to represent more of the United States.  (One girl is named "Arkansas," while one is, shudder, "Cochise.")
• No, wait, one of the baker's dozen of coffee orders is for the comic-relief dog, Blackjack.
• They lock the magician's assistant in a closet for one of their nutty schemes, and I'm so exhausted from being outraged by Scott Baio's character's pubescent predatory behavior, I can't manage more than a head-shake at that.
• You might've thought it was physically impossible for 4'11" Nancy Walker to dip 6'5" Herb Edelman for a kiss, but you'd be wrong.
• King Tut reference, didn't they realize that that would date the series in syndication?
• LAS writers Tony DiMarco and David Ketchum wrote this episode.

"Nancy Goes Sheik" aired on March 19th.  Stuff about this one:

• They seem to vary the girls' introductions each episode, which with much sharper writing would've been neat.
• Joey is a lot shyer with women than his cousin Carmine is, or for that matter than his kid brother, "who turns everything into smut."
• They use the word "noogie" on this series a lot.
• Picture this said as suggestively as possible, "I can't wait to meet Sheik Ben-Ali.  I bet I could make his carpet fly."
• Well, there's a crossover I wasn't expecting.  Fred Fox, Jr., who would be Freddie the Bellhop on the "Fabian" episode of LAS that Fall, and Freddie on HD in '79, here plays Marvin the Bellhop for the first of two times.  He'd already written the LAS/HD crossover episode "Excuse Me, May I Cut In" and had recently started his run of twenty-nine HD scripts, all the way into Season Eleven.  Anyway, under the Blansky Law of Relativity, I'm going to assume that Marvin is Freddie's younger cousin.
• Bambi apparently does make the sheik's carpet fly, because he holds her captive so she can become his 33rd wife.  Hilarious, right?
• Nancy gets a "magic lantern" as an apology gift from the sheik after she helps Bambi escape by donning a Farrah wig (don't ask), and Nancy wishes for Rock Hudson.  Oh, Honey, no.
• Arnold Kane didn't write any other Blansky episodes, but he doesn't seem to have settled at any sitcom for long.  But then this is the worst episode so far, like a D or D+ rather than the C- I might give the first four episodes, if I were grading them.

Episodes Six and Seven, "Anthony Falls in Love" (with Bambi) and "Nancy Meets Francie" (Sunshine's mother) did not make it onto this disc, so I can't share any "goodies" from them.  Next up, the coveted "Nancy Meets Laverne"!

"Shotgun Wedding: Part 1"

Jumping the cow

Happy Days: "Shotgun Wedding: Part 1"
September 11, 1979
C+


Fred Fox, Jr., who'd had Richie and Potsie cross over for the high school dance contest, wrote this seventh-season-opener for Happy Days, which was one of 237 (!) HD episodes that Jerry Paris directed, and he also did the "Bachelor Party" episode for L & S's first season, which had Fonzie guest-starring.  So they certainly had experience crossing over with the sister show, but throwing the girls into the middle of the episode for a few minutes doesn't entirely work.  I mean, it makes things more entertaining but it does Flanderize Laverne and Shirley in ways that they hadn't yet been on their own show.

The Cunninghams are going camping, and meanwhile Fonzie wants to hook up (I honestly can't think of a '70s or '50s equivalent phrase) with two stereotypical Swedish farmer's daughters he's never met, even though their father likes to shoot traveling salesman.  And although Richie smooches goodbye with his girlfriend Lori Beth, I guess they have one of those Carmine & Shirley understandings, because she's dating while he's out of town (for three days!) and he has no qualms about smooching with one of the farmer's daughters (the blonde one).  The two sisters are "desperate" because of their overprotective father, who of course shows up with his shotgun and wants Fonzie and Richie to marry Helga and Inga.  How will the guys get out of this one?

"But what I really want to do is direct," and other captions that write themselves.

Fortunately, around the midpoint, wearing a cow suit and fleeing a bull, Richie gets stung by bees and Fonzie twists his ankle, so they are rescued by Laverne and Shirley, who are also camping in the vicinity.  Shirley is happy to play candy-striper, while Laverne definitely has a "bedside manner."  Laverne kisses Fonzie and mounts Richie (who's face-down), and she and Shirley accidentally further injure the guys.  They're a bit shrill and simplified here, without (I know it's weird to type this) any of the nuances that they would get on their own series, where a half hour episode would allow time for "this week's lesson" and other non-slapstick.  That said, they certainly perk up the episode, which otherwise is full of tired gags.  (And the cow-suit routine would be done better and more raunchily five years later in the movie Top Secret!)

The bottle-cappers' brief appearance is not only fortunate for the viewer but for the guys, since Fonzie claims to be engaged to Laverne DeFazio.  We saw him look pretty cozy limping around the room with Shirley (remember, Henry and Cindy used to date), but there is of course no question who he's going to pick of the two female friends that could plausibly get to the farm quickly.  He went out with Laverne on the double date four long seasons ago (maybe two or three years HD-time, since Kennedy is now president) and she would be more willing to lie for him, especially if they could smooch some more.  Richie catches on and claims to be "practically married" to Shirley Feeney.  And we know he enjoyed both of their dates, although the second one was two seasons ago.  (Note that Joanie is now almost 17, and I swear she was 12 or 13 in Season One, but Happy Days was ridiculously retconned by this point, ask brother Chuck.)  Richie is sent to go get the girls, while Fonzie must remain in front of the shotgun and the two disappointed Swedish girls, who were totally up for marriage to strangers.

Part 2 would of course see the return of Vicki Frederick (who two months later would be Sutra on the infamous Mork & Mindy Raquel Welch two-parter) as Helga and April Clough as Inga, as well as F. William Parker as their papa Vernon.  Parker was only 38 at the time, making him eight and twelve years older than his "daughters."  (And one year older than Penny Marshall, although she still looked cute and sexy at this point, again showing off her legs in shorts.)

"The Bachelor Party"

"The Bachelor Party"
February 3, 1976
C+

G. Marshall's co-creators Lowell Ganz and Mark Rothman wrote this episode that I find cruder and less funny than the premiere, although still interesting, with the obligatory heartwarming moment, as Laverne says that Shirley is the best friend anyone ever had.  Jerry Paris directed, for the only time, although he'd done eighteen episodes for The Odd Couple, and this episode arguably does have more of an OC feel and plot.*

While Mr. De Fazio is in New York to attend his 94-year-old uncle's funeral, he leaves Laverne in charge of the Pizza Bowl.  It's implied here that she's an only child, and that she thinks he would've rather had a son.  We also find out that Shirley has brothers, although not how many.  But the episode is more notable for the introduction of Foster as Laverne's father, and Mekka as Shirley's, um, I still don't know after four decades.

Carmine "Big Ragoo" Ragusa is not the Carmine I remember.  He's rougher and tougher, although he does sing the title line of Tony Bennett's "Rags to Riches."  He comes across as a not-too-bright boxer, although he does, as Fonzie puts it, "have tender feelings" for Shirley.  It's hard to tell if they're a couple or if she's just his "Angel Face," and to be honest, I never was clear how serious their relationship was.  In any case, he chivalrously comes to her rescue after Laverne pressures her into coming out of a cake at a bachelor party being hosted at the Pizza Bowl.

Fonzie is the one throwing the party, and he's in this episode more than in the debut.  He guilts and kisses Laverne to get her to fill in when the scheduled "cake girl" can't make it, but, as we learned in the previous episode, Laverne is a Size 10 while Shirley is a Size 5.  (I don't understand '50s sizes.)  The party is for a character whom we'd never see or presumably hear from again, but he's just the excuse.  It's more notable that Harry Shearer, Landers and McKean's Credibility Gap comedy colleague, does his first of six cameos on the show, as the Announcer.  (And he apparently had an uncredited role in The Robe during his kid-actor days, so I now suspect that the reference to that movie in Episode One was a sort of in-joke by DLL & MMcK, who did some uncredited writing for L & S.)

Speaking of Lenny and Squiggy, they are at the bachelor party and seem already acquainted with the Fonz, although not exactly friends.  I did spot a sort of Lenny/Shirley shipping moment, but a leering one, as Lenny says he "has feelings" for Shirley, too, because of her "cake girl" outfit.


*He would direct the Happy Days half of the "shotgun wedding" crossover night.