"To Tell the Truth," Scenes D and E

INT. GIRLS' APARTMENT - NIGHT

LENNY AND SHIRLEY ARE SITTING ON THE COUCH, PLAYING CARDS.  LENNY LAYS DOWN HIS HAND, FACE UP.

LENNY

Gin.

SHIRLEY

Yes, that's gin alright [sic].  Too bad we're playing "Go Fish."  (LOOKING OVER HIS CARDS) Do you have any nines, threes, and can I have the three sevens I saw?

LENNY

Yes.

SHIRLEY

Thank you.  I win again.

LENNY

You mean for six hands in a row, I've been playing the wrong game?  And losing?  I guess I am pretty stupid.

All of that opening was dropped, except for Lenny saying he's stupid.

Since Laverne didn't throw the pudding at Shirley in this version, we did not get the exchange about Lenny licking it off.  The girls' sideway hug was also added.

We lost the offscreen closing line of the girls, having gone up to their bedroom, saying, "Lenny, put that away."  Otherwise, the scene is intact.

And here's the missing tag:

INT. GIRLS' APARTMENT - NIGHT

CARMINE, SHIRLEY, LENNY AND LAVERNE ARE SITTING ON THE SOFA.  LENNY TAKES A CARD FROM THE PILE OF TRUTH CARDS.

LENNY

Oooh, it's a good thing we stopped playing.  Look what the next card was.

LENNY HANDS THE CARD TO LAVERNE.

LAVERNE

(READING CARD) Who in this room would you like to be the mother of your child?

LAVERNE RIPS UP THE CARD.  THERE IS A KNOCK AT THE FRONT DOOR.

LAVERNE (CONT'D)

I'll get it.

LAVERNE OPENS THE DOOR TO RHONDA, SQUIGGY AND SONNY.  THEY EXCHANGE AWKWARD GREETINGS.

RHONDA

Laverne, would you mind if I get to my apartment through yours?  The rain takes all the bounce out of my hair.

LAVERNE

Be my guest.

SQUIGGY

... And I just love to watch her bounce.

SONNY

(TO LAVERNE) How's my favorite tenant?

ALL THE LIGHTS SUDDENLY GO OUT.  EVERYONE AD-LIBS CONFUSION.

LENNY

(LOUDLY SHOWING OFF) My, isn't it nocturnal in here.

SHIRLEY HAS FOUND A BOX OF CANDLES AND A BOOK OF MATCHES.

SHIRLEY

Don't worry.  Everything's under control.  I always keep candles and matches nearby in case of an emergency.

SHIRLEY PASSES THE UNLIT CANDLES AROUND.  SHIRLEY LIGHTS HER CANDLE AND CROSSES TO SQUIGGY.

SHIRLEY (CONT'D)

(LIGHTING SQUIGGY'S CANDLE) Here Squiggy, I hope we're still friends.

SQUIGGY

I understand.  We all have our bad days.

SQUIGGY CROSSES TO CARMINE.

SQUIGGY (CONT'D)

(LIGHTING CARMINE'S CANDLE) Here, Big Ragoo.

CARMINE

Thanks, Big Squig.

CARMINE CROSSES TO SONNY.

CARMINE (CONT'D)

(LIGHTING SONNY'S CANDLE) Here's a light, buddy.

SONNY

Thanks, pal.  (KIDDING) If we use these we can save on our electric bill.

CARMINE

Now that's thrifty.

SONNY CROSSES TO LAVERNE.

SONNY

(LIGHTING LAVERNE'S CANDLE) There, now we can see our way to the refrigerator to get us a milk and Pepsi.

LAVERNE

Would it be tactless if I shoved this up your nose?  Just kidding  (KISSES SONNY)

LENNY CROSSES TO RHONDA AND LIGHTS HER CANDLE.

RHONDA

Thanks for the light, Lenny.

LENNY

Rhonda, did you know that the word light is a homonym?

RHONDA

You're so smart, Lenny.

THEY ALL PUT THEIR CANDLES TOGETHER.

SHIRLEY

We're all friends again.

SQUIGGY

If I'm not too ugly in this light.

AS THEY CLINK THEIR CANDLES TOGETHER, WE FREEZE FRAME.

Thoughts:

• It seems cruel for Shirley to play that many rounds without telling Lenny what game they're playing, especially for what turns out to be arguably their sweetest scene together.
• So even with them pushing Sonny/Laverne, Lavenny is alive and well, at least in Lenny's mind.  Laverne still can't handle it.
• Things are so awkward that neither Squiggy nor Rhonda barges in without knocking!  She even asks permission to go through the apartment to her own.
• The rain is half forgotten in the aired episode, but it actually has a payoff here, and not just Rhonda's bounce that Squiggy enjoys.
• Many of the little threads are wrapped up and we definitely get a sense of closure in this tag.  And the candles are a nice symbol.
• I think the episode is one of the strongest of the season, and I'm glad to have gotten two more scenes of it.  But I do appreciate the extra onscreen physical affection, as well as things like the way that Laverne and Squiggy (or maybe Penny and David) joke around.  To tell the truth, this could've led to a different show, had Sonny been able to stick around, but it would still have an impact on the other half dozen characters as the rest of the California years continued.