A LARGE, GROUCHY NURSE WITH A BUN HAIRDO IS SEATED BEHIND A SEMI-CIRCULAR RECEPTION DESK. THERE ARE SEVERAL CHAIRS IN THE WAITING ROOM AREA, SOME OF WHICH ARE OCCUPIED. AN ORDERLY IS SWEEPING UP. LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY ENTER AND APPROACH THE RECEPTION DESK. THE NURSE IS BUSY WITH PAPERWORK AND IGNORES THEM.
LAVERNE
Uh... hello... miss... (WAVES) Yoo-hoo.
RECEPTION NURSE
(NOT LOOKNG UP) Wait your turn.
THE GIRLS LOOK AROUND. THEY ARE THE ONLY ONES AT THE DESK.
SHIRLEY
There's nobody else here. (BEAT) Could you help us, please?
THE NURSE CONTINUES TO IGNORE THEM.
LAVERNE
Hey, it's an emergency! My friend's dyin' here!
THE NURSE LOOKS UP.
RECEPTION NURSE
She looks fine to me.
SHIRLEY
Well, I'm not really dying, though I do have a stress headache.
LAVERNE
The truth is we're here to look at her birth records.
Onscreen, they start with Shirley herself saying she wants to look at the birth records. In the script, Laverne is less threatening towards the nurse, and the girls were supposed to hang their heads when they exit. The dropped dialogue isn't really necessary and I think the scene plays better onscreen.
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