We start in a "TV Studio - day":
THIS IS A TYPICAL LOCAL TV STUDIO SET UP FOR A GAME SHOW. MOST OF THE PEOPLE ARE ALREADY SEATED IN THE BLEACHERS WHEN LAVERNE, SHIRLEY, CARMINE, LENNY AND SQUIGGY ENTER. THEY WANDER IN TOTALLY TAKEN WITH THE PLACE AND THE FACT THAT THEY ARE THERE EXCEPT FOR LENNY AND SQUIGGY, WHO ARE UNIMPRESSED WITH THE WHOLE THING. AS THEY SIT DOWN, THEY REALIZE THAT THERE IS ONLY ROOM FOR THREE TO SIT TOGETHER.
Lenny apparently showing Squiggy his cold sore was not in the script. They do "Ronnie off" after Irma in both the script and the filmed version. This was dropped:
LAVERNE
Ah, so that's the kind of people they pick. We gotta make you look like Squiggy.
LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY START TO WORK ON CARMINE. THEY TAKE OFF HIS TIE AND TIE IT AROUND HIS FOREHEAD. THEY TURN HIS JACKET INSIDE OUT.
CARMINE
Nothing's worth this.
LAVERNE
Come on, you could be discovered, Ed Sullivan watches this show.
AS THEY WORK ON HIM, LAVERNE CONTINUES TO HIT PEOPLE WITH HER BAG. THE MAN WHO KEEPS GETTING HIT PUSHES AT THE BAG.
LAVERNE (CONT'D)
Purse snatcher!
THIS TIME SHE HITS HIM ON PURPOSE.
After Chickie asks how he could say no to Laverne and Shirley, there was this:
CHICKIE
...They might kill me. What do you say, audience?
THE AUDIENCE RESPONDS FAVORABLY.
CHICKIE (CONT'D)
Well, you hear them. You're our next two contestants.
THE GIRLS THANK HIM PROFUSELY.
CHICKIE
Come on down.
LAVERNE
(TO CARMINE) Isn't life ironic.
THE GIRLS HEAD OFF WITH IRMA, THE SONG AND PRIZE LADY.
CARMINE
(TO CROWD) Five years I practiced this smile.
A couple thoughts:
- The girls' Squiggifying makeover of Carmine is just odd, as is the bit with Laverne's purse.
- A little too ironic, yeah, I really do think.
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