"Honeymoon Hotel," Scene E

We get "EXT. HOTEL PFISTER - NEXT DAY," which dissolves to "INT. HOTEL SUITE":

THE SUITE IS CLUTTERED WITH LOTS OF TRAYS FROM ROOM SERVICE.

LAVERNE

Well, Shirl, we've ordered everything on the menu...

SHIRLEY

Twice...

LAVERNE

The last time I called they asked if we were a couple or a convention.

SHIRLEY

Well at least we're enjoying the good life.

LAVERNE

Yeah... (LOOKING AROUND)... trapped in a greeting card.

SHIRLEY

It does kinda make you miss the bad life.

SFX:  THERE IS A KNOCK ON THE DOOR

MR. GUNTHER (O.S.)

We're here for some brunch shots.

LAVERNE DIVES AND GETS UNDER ONE OF THE ROOM SERVICE CARTS.  SHIRLEY CROSSES TO DOOR.  MR. GUNTHER ENTERS WITH PHOTOGRAPHER AND TWO ASSISTANTS.

SHIRLEY

Oh, hello.

MR. GUNTHER

(LOOKING AROUND) You two certainly eat a lot.  (TO SOME GUYS WITH HIM) Clear this place out.

ONE OF THE ASSISTANTS STARTS ROLLING THE CART AWAY.  SHIRLEY TRIES TO STOP HIM BUT MR. GUNTHER GETS IN THE WAY.  AND THE CART IS ROLLED OUT.

MR. GUNTHER (CONT'D)

Where is the groom now?

SHIRLEY

In the bathroom.

MR. GUNTHER

Washing his hair again?  I just hope you haven't made a terrible mistake -- Come on, Al -- We'll be back later.

THEY EXIT.

WE FLIP TO:

INT. HONEYMOON SUITE

SHIRLEY PACING AS CUPID'S EYES FOLLOW HER AROUND THE ROOM.

SFX:  THERE IS A KNOCK

SHIRLEY

Who is it?

LAVERNE (O.S.)

It's me!  Open up.

SHIRLEY HURRIES FOR DOOR.

SHIRLEY

Where have you been!  I've been worried sick!

LAVERNE    

Relax everything is under control -- Took a little trip through the kitchen and... (CALLS OUT DOOR) Okay, fellas.

FOUR NON-ENGLISH SPEAKING WAITERS ENTER.

SHIRLEY

Who are these people?

THE WAITERS BEGIN CHATTERING IN SPANISH.

LAVERNE

Our new poker buddies.  (SHE PULLS OUT A DECK OF CARDS)  Okay, guys.  (REACHING INTO LARGE BASKET OF COMPLIMENTARY FRUIT) I'll open with a banana.

THEY SIT DOWN AND BEGIN TO PLAY USING THE FRUIT.

Thoughts:

• Absolutely none of this made it in.
• The girls have definitely been taking advantage of room service, which doesn't really come up in the filmed version
• The cart gag isn't terribly original and needs more of a payoff anyway.
• Mr. Gunther continues to be judgy of "Guido."
• Is it supposed to be funny that the waiters speak Spanish instead of English and the girls are going to play poker with them, using fruit?
• This scene is no real loss.