"Playing Hookey," Scene E

The tag we didn't get to see is set in the "living room - that night":

SHIRLEY (V.O.)

Dear Diary.  Well, we're goin' out with Bob and Ernie again next Saturday.  I'm a little worried.  If we do anything with them, you know what I mean, will we get arrested?

LAVERNE WALKS TOWARD HER WITH A MILK AND A PEPSI. THE DOOR BURSTS OPEN AND LENNY AND SQUIGGY ENTER.

SQUIGGY

Hello.

LENNY

Boy, what a day!

SQUIGGY

What you missed!

LAVERNE

Big day at the burlesque house?

SHIRLEY

Some pasties come unglued?

LENNY

No, a big day at Shotz!  A fire!  Burning yeast everywhere.

SHIRLEY

Was anyone hurt?

LENNY

No, but a lot of people were pressed against the wall when it started rising.

SQUIGGY

We all got a extra fifty bucks for hazard pay.

SHIRLEY

Well, between us, we lost 200 bucks today.

LAVERNE

Fun day, Shirl.

SQUIGGY

(LEWDLY) I guess you know why I'm here.  I went out of my way to not tell anybody about you know what.  So now you gotta live up to your part of the bargain.

SHIRLEY

All right, all right, close your eyes.

SQUIGGY

Laverne, you pay what you owe me to Lenny.  (TO LENNY) Get ready for your surprise.

AFTER HESITATION, LAVERNE GOES AND KISSES LENNY.

SQUIGGY (CONT'D)

Happy birthday, Len.  Now, Shirl, make me quiver.

LAVERNE SITS DOWN TO READ MAGAZINE.  SHIRLEY KISSES SQUIGGY.

LENNY

Boy, if you could bottle that.

THEY GO OUT FRONT DOOR.

SQUIGGY

Stick with me, kid.  I get 'em all.

THEY EXIT.

SHIRLEY (V.O.)

Dear Diary.  Tonight I kissed Squiggy.  (REAL VOICE) Laverne, how do you spell ptuuuuu...

LAVERNE

P t o o o e y.

AS THEY FIGURE OUT HOW TO SPELL IT, WE:

FADE OUT.

Thoughts:

• !!!!!
• Um, what exactly does Shirley think she and Laverne are going to do with Bob and Ernie?
• That's a pretty feeble Hello Cue as these things go.  I guess they're associating the boys with the threat of arrest, but it's poorly phrased.
• Still, I'm not complaining about the boys' entrance and the subsequent events.
• The "pasties" line is pretty racy for Shirley.
• The "yeast" mental image is odd.
• Squiggy is lewd and yet he's contented with just a kiss, admittedly a kiss worth bottling.
• Squiggy will always be the strongest in-house Lavenny shipper.  I doubt it was Lenny's birthday, but I'm sure he was happy with this surprise.
• Laverne hesitates but she doesn't argue about kissing Lenny.
• I can't believe Laverne would be so blasé about kissing him, or watching Shirley kiss Squiggy, that she would just sit down and read a magazine, but maybe she's trying to hide her feelings.
• Shirley tells her diary she did not enjoy the kissing.  Laverne makes no disclaimer.
• The script was for the most part faithfully adapted for the screen, but this tag gives us not only a bit more about Bob and Ernie, but it offers us gratuitous L/L and S/S kisses, as well as some interaction between the boys.