"Mother Knows Worst," Scenes A and B

On April 30, 1978, a mere 18 days before "Mother Knows Worst" aired, the Rev. Shooting Script was submitted.  Presumably there won't be any major changes, but there will probably be some minor ones.

We go to the girls' apartment, at "night."  The girls were supposed to giggle offstage for some reason before they enter.  They left out Mrs. Havenwurst saying, "This bookcase will bring you luck."

Oddly enough, Laverne in the script planned to stay with someone named Stephanie, rather than Terry Buttafucco, during Mrs. Feeney's visit.  The minor Buttafuccization of Season One seems to have arisen after the scripts (here and in "Fakeout").  Also in this script, Shirley's mother has never forgiven her for not being Grace Kelly, rather than Deborah Kerr.

The next scene is again at the girls' apartment, but now "Saturday morning."  In the script, Lily "melodramatically" says the line, "I no longer have a husband, dear," while she's pretty matter-of-fact about it on the episode.

This was omitted after Lily says she's divorced:

LILY

...In fact, I have no idea where he is.

MRS. HAVENWURST

Well, if you give me an article of his clothing, I can give you his address and telephone number.

LILY

I burnt all his clothing...

Note that after Squiggy's "bosom buddies" line, the stage direction is "Lenny and Squiggy pull a Ronny," with that spelling.

This was left out, after Squiggy's "groceries" line:

LENNY

(CONVERSATIONAL) You still divorced, Mrs. Feeney?

LILY

(HAD ENOUGH) Young man...

SQUIGGY

(AT REFRIGERATOR) Hey, I'm the product of a broken home.  Didn't hurt me.

Squiggy talking about what food he got sounds adlibbed.  The stage direction after Squiggy's "Sacred Cow" line is "Lily reacts beautifully," which Pat Carroll does.

My main thought is that Lily's divorce seems to be a bigger deal in the script than onscreen, and I love the boys' attitudes about it.