"Hi Neighbors," Scenes L and M

We return to the girls' apartment, "shortly afterward."  They left out Shirley saying, "Squiggy, stand still," and him replying, "I can't.  I just don't feel right."

Instead of Squiggy saying he won't take out trash in a dress, because it's not as God intended, there was this:

SQUIGGY

Hold it.  What is this -- the Army?

SHIRLEY

Nobody's making you stay.  Now stand still.

SQUIGGY

I'm not going to take out the garbage dressed like this.  People are going to think I'm a fenneman.

DOOR OPENS, LAVERNE AND LENNY ENTER.

LAVERNE

Lenny, I think we got here just in time.

LENNY

(BREAKING UP) You look like Betty Crocker.

Onscreen, Laverne and Lenny enter and Lenny laughs but doesn't say anything yet.  And Squiggy tells Shirley to get Lenny out of "our house."

This part comes after Lenny's "proposal" to Squiggy:

LAVERNE

No, for real.

LENNY

Okay, okay.  I want you to come back upstairs.  Us loners got to stick together.

SQUIGGY

Why should I?  I'm perfectly happy right here with my real friends.

SHIRLEY

Oh, Squiggy, as long as you're staying, I need to fix the ruffles on my shortie nightgown.

SQUIGGY

Alright, alright, I'll go back.  (TO LENNY) But you're gonna have to help me catch some more moths.

LENNY

Okay.  But why can't you collect something interesting, like horseflies?

SHIRLEY

Couldn't you fellows settle this on your way upstairs?

SQUIGGY

Yeah, we're going.

HE PICKS UP HIS DUFFLE BAG, STARTS TO LEAVE.

LAVERNE

(NOTICING CLARINET ON FLOOR) Don't leave without Ebb Tide.

SQUIGY

Yeah.  Well, thanks for everything, Shirley.  Let's do it again sometime.

The replacement dialogue and actions, including the "Stupid" makeup handshake, are generally an improvement.

The last little bit of the scene was left out:

LAVERNE

I guess they're basically harmless.  I mean, so what, they'll live upstairs.  It's not that bad.

PAUSE

LAVERNE & SHIRLEY

It's bad.

This ends the scene and the original tag is set in the girls' apartment, rather than the boys, during "day":

SHIRLEY IS WRAPPING A PRESENT.  IT HAS PRETTY PAPER, FRILLS AND RIBBONS.  LAVERNE ENTERS FROM THE BEDROOM.

LAVERNE

Whose birthday?

SHIRLEY

No one's.  We bought a homewarming present for Lenny and Squiggy.

LAVERNE

We?

SHIRLEY
It's too late, your name is already on the card.  Besides, it's the neighborly thing to do.

LENNY AND SQUIGGY BARGE IN.

SQUIGGY

Hello.  You girls got an extra mattress?

LAVERNE

No.

LENNY

Okay, thanks anyway.

THEY START TO EXIT.  LAVERNE PICKS UP THE PRESENT.

LAVERNE

Hold it.  We got a housewarming gift for you.

SQUIGGY TAKES IT.

SHIRLEY

I wrapped it.

LENNY AND SQUIGGY VICIOUSLY RIP OFF WRAPPING OFF PACKAGE.  IT'S A GLASS ORANGE SQUEEZER.

LENNY

Hey, an ashtray.

LAVERNE

It's an orange juicer.

LENNY

Oh, that's really lovely.

SQUIGGY

Yeah.  We got a present for you for helping us move.

LAVERNE

Yeah what?

SQUIGGY

This.

HE HANDS SHIRLEY THE JUICER.

SQUIGGY (CONT'D)

Sorry we didn't get a chance to wrap it.

LENNY

It's the thought that counts.

LENNY AND SQUIGGY EXIT.  LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER.

LAVERNE

Don't just stand there.  Make juice.

Thoughts:

• Squiggy is making a pun on George Fenneman and "effeminate."
• The dialogue in this version of Scene L isn't bad but it definitely needed the polishing and changing it got before it aired.
• And there is no question that the funny, shippy tag that was shot was an improvement over this pathetic O. Henry without the irony ending.  And they got Eddie Mekka on film, which doesn't seem to have been a concern for Michael, David, and Harry.
• While I like that this version of the episode has more for the girls to do, and some interesting character insights, there was obviously a lot to do before it could air.  Including, yes, dropping "the load."
• Oh, and why an extra mattress and does this have to do anything with hard sheets?