"Fakeout at the Stakeout," Scenes A and B

On March 25, 1976, a few days before "Dating Slump" aired, and less than three weeks before "Fakeout at the Stakeout" aired, the "FatS" shooting script was submitted, another sign of how close they were cutting things in Season One.  Let's see how good to go they were at that point.

Act One and Scene A open in the girls' apartment, "evening - night," which is a little confusing, but OK.

They added Laverne asking if Shirley loaned her poodle skirt to Terry Buttafucco, and Shirley's reply that she doesn't loan it out.  

The next part, I guess Scene A2, is in the bedroom, with "continuous action."  Note that it's spelled "boo-boo kitty" in this first mention.  And in the script Laverne is the only one who screams into the phone.

Scene B is also in the girls' apartment, "a very short time later - night."  This was omitted after Laverne wonders how many people got robbed tonight:

SHIRLEY

We'll take matters into our own hands.  Help me build a barricade.

LAVERNE STARTS TO GET THE BIRDS.

SHIRLEY (CONT'D)

No, no.  Not with the birds.

And we lost this after Squiggy tells the girls not to get hysterical:

THEY EACH EMBRACE ONE OF THE GIRLS.

LAVERNE

Squiggy...

SQUIGGY

Shut up, you're hysterical.

LENNY

(HUGGING LAVERNE) And we're comforting you.

SHIRLEY

We're not hysterical.  You let go of me right now!

THEY DISENGAGE.

SQUIGGY

Okay, you're not yourself.  That's why we're here.

LENNY

Yeah, we've seen crime from both sides of the barrels.

SQUIGGY

And this robbery ain't gonna fool nobody.  'Specially the coppers.

LENNY

If they see a robbery that looks fake, they'll throw you in prison.  The drawers have to be all pulled out.

HE MESSES UP THE CONTENTS OF THE DRAWERS.  SHIRLEY AND LAVERNE RUN OVER TO STOP HIM.  SQUIGGY GOES OVER TO THE CLOSET.

SQUIGGY

And the closet has to be open -- and stuff flying out.

SHIRLEY AND LAVERNE RUN OVER TO STOP HIM.

SHIRLEY

Stop it, Squiggy.  You're making me nervous.

SQUIGGY

(LAUGHS KNOWINGLY)  (TO LENNY) I told you danger gets them excited.

THE GIRLS PUSH THEM THROUGH THE DOOR.

Onscreen, there's no embrace and Laverne says her father is the one who's hysterical.  Then there's a cute cut to Frank on the phone to Aunt Josephine.

Note that it's spelled "Uncle Fungie," which is something I've been wondering about for months.  The last little bit of the scene was cut, after it's established that the girls would rather have burglars than Uncle Fungie's hair in the kitchen sink:

SQUIGGY AND LENNY ENTER.

SQUIGGY

Hey, I just thought of something.  Do you know what this crook looks like?

LAVERNE

No.

SQUIGGY

(TO LAVERNE) That's our first clue.

THEY ALL EXIT.

Thoughts:

• I like getting the early canonical spelling on names.
• The birds appear onscreen but are not referred to.
• You knew which boy was going to hug which girl of course, and that the girls would react very differently.
• The boys making the robbery look more convincing is one of those things that would've been funny onscreen but would be annoying in real life.
• Other than maybe the embrace, no big surprises here.