"Did She or Didn't She?", Scene 5

We're back to the Pizza Bowl, during "day," so it must be the next day:

LENNY IS PLAYING THE DRIVING MACHINE.  LAVERNE ENTERS.  SHE COMES UP TO LENNY.

LAVERNE

Hi, Lenny.

LENNY

Oh, hi, Laverne.

LAVERNE

Don't you usually play this game with Squiggy?

LENNY

Squiggy's busy.  The truck had a flat. So here I am.  I drive alone.

LAVERNE

Why aren't you helping him?

LENNY

I am.  He sent me for a spare.  But I got hungry.  I'm just waiting for my pizza.

LENNY LEAVES THE GAME.  THEY GO TO A TABLE.

LAVERNE

Can I talk to you?

LENNY

Sure.  Lots of people talk to me.  I'm a good shoulder to cry on.

LAVERNE

Shut up, Lenny.  I'm trying to find out something.

Onscreen, L & L talk at the counter and he shows her his injury from the Reserves.  Then she wants to hear the "smutty" gossip at the brewery.   Starting from her asking him why the guys think Shirley is a pushover to Lenny saying he wouldn't have believed it if he hadn't seen it with his own two eyes, it's pretty faithful.  But they left this out.:

LAVERNE

(RAISING HANDS) How many fingers am I holding up?

LENNY

I got 20-20 vison.  20-20 hearing too.  She even thanks him when they were getting dressed in the break room.

In both versions, she says she's going to be sick and he thinks he's jealous, but it's in the script that he suggests, "Maybe the four of us could double date sometime."

Shirley entering in disguise is from the script, but this part is actually better onscreen.  Instead of Laverne immediately recognizing her and bursting out laughing, this is how it went:

LAVERNE

This table's taken, lady.

SHIRLEY

(SOTTO) It's me, Shirley.

LAVERNE DOES A TAKE, THEN STUDIES HER CLOSELY.

LAVENRE

Shirl, where'd you get that wig?

SHIRLEY

At that swap meet last month.  I traded my old toaster for it.

Laverne hesitantly talking to Shirley about the rumor is similar at first in both versions, but the Harpo Marx line was added.  The last page and a half of the scene, after Laverne asks if Shirley is in love with Squiggy, got omitted:

SHIRLEY

I'm going home.  I can't talk to you.  You talk like a foolish person.  I'm in trouble and you're talking gibberish.

LAVERNE

(CUTS HER OFF) Wait a minute.  Lenny thinks he saw the two of you getting dressed in the break room.  That's how this all got started.

SHIRLEY

Getting dressed...?  He was fixing my zipper.  I was drying his shirt.

LAVERNE

Yeah, well Lenny thought different.  And apparently Squiggy let him think so.

SHIRLEY

All right.  Then Squiggy can just set things straight.  I'll go talk to him.  That's what I'll do.

LAVERNE

Forget it, Shirl.  You don't know men.  You can't talk him into taking it back.  Not for a million bucks.

SHIRLEY

Well, I've got to try.  I hate this wig.

LAVERNE

Believe me, the best thing to do is to ride it out.  These things die down.  It was yesterday's rumor. It's probably dying down already.

SHIRLEY

You think so?

LAVERNE

Sure.

SHIRLEY

Maybe you're right.

SHIRLEY HESITANTLY TAKES OFF THE WIG AND THE GLASSES.  ONE GUY SPOTS HER.

GUY

Hey, guys, it's Shirley.

TWELVE GUYS TRY TO PULL UP CHAIRS TO SHIRLEY'S TABLE.  SHIRLEY GETS UP AND RUNS OUT.  LAVERNE FOLLOWS.

Thoughts:

• The driving machine returns!
• The "shoulder" line is probably a throwaway, but it would end up coming true for him and Laverne in some of the best episodes.
• And of course Lenny is going to work the S & S relationship for his own benefit with Laverne.
• I don't like Laverne as much in this scene, with her discouraging Shirley from fighting back against the rumors.  And if they're still talking about Backseat Bonnie, why would the gossip die down about Shirley?
• I can see why they didn't feel the need to have the girls clear things up onscreen, since it's implied, and the thirteen guys chasing Shirley is probably unnecessary, too.