"Baby Show" script, Scene E

We return to the girls' poorly defined post-Bardwell's workplace, in the afternoon.

THE USUAL WORKERS ALONG WITH LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY ARE BUSY WORKING.  CHUCK ENTERS AND CROSSES TO THEM.

CHUCK

Look at this.  Another bulletin from Gruber's office.

SHIRLEY TAKES IT FROM HIM AND READS.

SHIRLEY

(READING BULLETIN) "It has come to my attention that certain employees are planting spit wads in the bathroom hand blowers.  This is to stop immediately or all toilet paper will be removed from the bathrooms."

LAVERNE

(TO HERSELF) How did he find out about... (QUICKLY SLAPS HER HAND OVER HER MOUTH)

SHIRLEY

(GETTING THE PICTURE) Laverne, I was hit by one of those myself!

KLEIN ENTERS.

KLEIN

Your attention, please.  I have bad news.

EVERYONE

Boo!

KLEIN 

You can all disregard the last bulletin from Gruber.

EVERYONE

Yeah!

KLEIN

Leopold Gruber is dead.

EVERYONE

Yeah.

KLEIN

I could fire all of you.

EVERYONE

Boo!

KLEIN

But instead, I'm giving you tomorrow off.

EVERYONE

Yeah!

KLEIN

So you can go to his funeral.

EVERYONE

Boo!

KLEIN

I'm aware of the fact that he wasn't a popular man.  But you will all attend the funeral or be fired.  Leopold would have wanted it that way.

KLEIN EXITS.

SHIRLEY

We can't go to the funeral.  Tomorrow's the finals of the Mother To Be contest.

LAVERNE

No sweat.  We'll go to the funeral, say "Bon Voyage" to Gruber and his bulletins, and still make it in plenty of time for the contest.

SHIRLEY

Aren't you getting a little old for spit wads?

LAVERNE 

Hey, you're never too old for the classics.

A quick dip back into the episode as shot.  Frank announces that the Grand Caribou of his lodge is dead and Frank has to throw the funeral, so he wants both Laverne and Plout as mourners.  It's a pretty flimsy reason compared to being fired, but Season Eight was never big on logic.

A few thoughts on this scene in the script:

1. Chuck gets another line, go, Chuck!
2. Neither Laverne's childish indulgence in spit wads nor the employees' reaction to Grubers' death are hilarious but I can kind of picture both things happening at the brewery, not that they would've killed off Mr. Shotz, but maybe somebody in upper management.
3. Here Shirley is the one to worry about missing the MTB contest, while Laverne thinks they can just make an appearance and leave, although in the episode it's Laverne who thinks they shouldn't go, while Plout plans their attendance with military efficiency.