"We're in the Army Now" script, Scene C

This scene is set at the Army Induction Center during the day:

LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY HAVE FINISHED THEIR PHYSICAL EXAMS.  THEY ARE DRESSED IN HOSPITAL GOWNS.  THEY ARE SEATED ON A LONG BENCH, ALONG WITH SEVERAL OTHER INDUCTEES.

SHIRLEY

Laverne, assuming we passed our physical, a couple minutes from now we'll be working for Uncle Sam.

LAVERNE

I hope so, 'cause we'll never work for Mr. Shotz again.  Not after what I did to his picture in the lunchroom.

SHIRLEY

I thought he looked better with a moustache, however, the antlers were a bit too much.

LAVERNE

You know, Shirl, you showed a lot of courage with that nurse.  You let her take blood and I never heard one scream.

SHIRLEY

Only because she didn't use a needle.  I was so scared I bit my lip and she let me bleed into the test tube.

LAVERNE

Good thing you didn't have chapped lips.

A DOCTOR WALKS BY, SEES LAVERNE AND MOVES AWAY FROM HER.

SHIRLEY

How come that doctor did that?

LAVERNE

It mighta been because of the knee jerk test.  I wanted to do good, so I put a little extra into it and kicked his glasses off.

This page and a half was dumped and instead we get Laverne taking photos and the girls reacting to the cold chairs against their hospital gowns, as well as Colonel Turner dealing with a headache.  Colonel Turner's line about everyone passing the physical was kept, but no one was scripted to react to it, positively or otherwise.  Similarly, she does have the women line up, but there's no gag about them forming a typical line, rather than shoulder to shoulder.

On the other hand, this dialogue was omitted:

SHIRLEY

Well, Laverne, this is it.  Once we're in uniform, just think of the respect we'll get.

LAVERNE

People will call us "Sir".

The oath part is basically intact, Shirley's miniature American flags, Laverne's selfie, and all.  They omitted another pair of the girls' lines:

LAVERNE

Do you think he'll pose for pictures?  [I think she means the President.]

SHIRLEY

Sshh.  This is solemn.  Wave your flag.

Colonel Turner is less upset in the script than in the episode.  After she welcomes the women to the WACs on the episode, she drinks more of her headache potion and the scene fades out before this part:

LAVERNE

(TO ROOM) Hold it.  Everybody form a pyramid.  Big girls on your knees.

AS THEY START TO FORM A PYRAMID, WE:

FADE OUT.

And so ends Act One.

I don't find either version particularly hilarious, but it is notable that Laverne definitely likes to deface Mr. Shotz's lunchroom portrait, as she will the next season, when they'll quit more permanently.