"The Note," Tag

The first part of the scene is pretty much what aired, but the Squiggy portion is not.  This time, I'm going to transcribe what aired, and then show you the version in the script:

LAVERNE

Goodnight, Shirley.  Wherever you are.

SQUIGGY:

Goodnight, Laverne.  And I know where you are.

LAVERNE

It's like I haven't fallen asleep yet and I'm already getting nightmares.

SQUIGGY ENTERS IN NIGHTCLOTHES AND TURNS ON THE LIGHT.

LAVERNE

What are you doin' here, Squig?

SQUIGGY

Now, now, don't jump to any tasty conclusions.  Uh, well, I, I, this may not be exactly the right time, but, Laverne, I have a proposition to make for you.

LAVERNE

No way!  Get out!

SQUIGGY

No, no, no, it's not anything good.  No, it's nothing like that.  No, what I would like to do is....May I buy your crib?

LAVERNE

What do you want a crib for?

SQUIGGY

Well, to sleep in, of course.  You see, the night I spent over here, sleeping in that crib, I....Well, for the first time in my adult life, I felt like a real man.

And here's the version from a month earlier:

LAVERNE

Good night, Laverne.

SQUIGGY'S VOICE

Good night, Squiggy.

STARTLED, LAVERNE TURNS ON THE LIGHT TO SEE SQUIGGY AT THE DOOR.

LAVERNE

Aw, gee.  I ain't even asleep yet, I'm havin' a nightmare.

SQUIGGY

I hope I didn't catch you at a bad time, Laverne.  But I have a proposition for you.

LAVERNE

Forget it.  You ain't sleepin' here with me.

SQUIGGY

You kidding?  The way you look right now?  I'm surprised you're sleepin' here with you.  What I was wondering was if I couldn't buy that crib over there from you?

LAVERNE

What do you need a crib for?

SQUIGGY

Why, to sleep in, Laverne.  When I slept in that thing I slept like a... dare I say it?  Like a real man.

LAVERNE

Ten bucks, it's yours.

SQUIGGY

Eight.

THEY BARTER.

SQUIGGY (CONT'D)

I'll send Lenny to pick up the crib tomorrow.

SQUIGGY TURNS OUT THE LIGHT AND JUMPS IN BED WITH LAVERNE.

LAVERNE

Out!!  OUT!!  Get out!

AS LAVERNE CHASES HIM OUT, WE:

FADE OUT.

Thoughts:

• It's sweeter to have Laverne bid goodnight to Shirley than to herself.  Squiggy bidding goodnight to himself is just odd, even for Season-Eight Squiggy.
• They kept the basic idea of the "nightmare" line.
• Squiggy is a lot nicer about "rejecting" Laverne in the aired version.
• He hems and haws about his wish more in the later version, and then they just end it with him wanting to sleep "like a real man."
• The haggling is cute, and I can see Lenny being made into a pack mule to carry the crib back to the boys' apartment.
• Although Squiggy said he doesn't want to sleep with Laverne, he jumps into bed with her.  This crosses a line that is only crossed in canon, I believe, in the controversial and sometimes out-of-character "Road to Burbank," and there it is the usual L&L and S&S pairs.  This scene does reinforce that Judy Pioli, who was such a Lavenny shipper in "The Debutante Ball" and "Lenny's Crush," for whatever reason,  had moved on.
• Overall, this script isn't too surprising, the Squiggy bits aside.  Probably that close to filming, they didn't want to change very much.