"The Third Annual Shotz Talent Show," Scene D

It's the "girls' apartment - night."  The beginning is similar, with Laverne smashing walnuts and pretending they're the boys' heads, but onscreen Shirley says she can't believe the talent show is going on and they're not in it, while in the script she says this, after Laverne's explanation about the walnuts:

SHIRLEY

Now, Laverne, I know the show is going on and we're not in it, but anger and bitterness is not going to help.  (BEAT) Give me that hammer.

SHIRLEY TAKES THE HAMMER, PUTS THREE NUTS IN A ROW AND SMASHES ONE RIGHT AFTER ANOTHER.

SHIRLEY (CONT'D)

And that's for the Von Mueller triplets.

This is how it goes in the script after Squiggy says they just stepped outside for fresh air:

SHIRLEY

What's all that stuff on your coat?

LENNY

This is a tomato, this is an egg, and this is gonna have to be sent out to the lab.  The first reports were not good.

LAVERNE SMILES AND SMASHES A WALNUT.

LENNY (CONT'D)

Ouch!

SQUIGGY

Everything's going great, see.  We're starrin' in the eighth number.  Suddenly, the jerks start chantin' "We want talent, we want talent"!

LENNY

So, of course, we did another number.

SQUIGGY

Then they started to get ugly.

Onscreen, Lenny instead starts confessing desperately to Laverne.  The last part of the scene onscreen has Laverne ignoring Shirley and directing the boys to carry their stuff, with Shirley joining at the last minute.  Here's how it goes in this script:

LAVERNE

I wanna do our number, Shirl.

SHIRLEY

I ought to make you get down on your knees and...

LAVERNE

Shirl, I enjoy seeing them suffer as much as the next guy, but we gotta get a move on.

SHIRLEY

It was just getting good.

LAVERNE

I know.  But there'll be other times.  I promise.

SQUIGGY

Let's go, we gotta get this show under the road.

Thoughts:

• I'm not sure which Shirley I prefer, the one who tries to be positive and then joins in on the nut-smashing, or the one who's pouty throughout.
• I definitely prefer the Lenny who throws himself on Laverne's mercy, although it might've been funny to get sort of a voodoo-doll effect out of her smashing a Lenny-walnut in front of him.
• Eight numbers!  That's gotta be at least forty minutes, right?  Frankly, I'm surprised at the Shotz audience's patience.
• I think the ending is smoother onscreen, but this Laverne is definitely right that there would be other chances for Shirley to chew the boys out.
• And Squiggy gets the closing line here.