We start in Bardwell's Customer Service Department - day":
SHIRLEY IS HAPPILY WRAPPING A GIFT FOR A BABY SHOWER, USING APPROPRIATE BABY-GIFT PAPER. SHE IS LITERALLY POETRY IN MOTION, AS SHE MAKES A BALLET OF THE WRAPPING.
SHIRLEY
On goes the wrapping paper
You pull it neat and tight
You fold it here, you tape it there
And make it come out right.
Next you take some ribbon and you wrap it to and fro...
CARMINE ENTERS AS SHIRLEY IS TYING THE BOW KNOT.
CARMINE
(AGITATED) Shirl...
SHIRLEY TAKES HIS HAND IN RHYTHM AND PLANTS IT ON THE KNOT AND CONTINUES MAKING A BOW.
SHIRLEY
(IN RHYTHM) Carmine, put it there.
And voila! We have a bow.
SHIRLEY STEPS BACK TO ADMIRE HER WORK FOR A SECOND AS CARMINE TRIES TO REMOVE HIS FINGER FROM THE KNOT.
CARMINE
I been waiting out there holding your luggage so long people think I'm a display.
SHIRLEY
Just one more magical moment, Carmine.
SHE ADDS TWO LITTLE BELLS TO THE GIFT AND HOLDS IT ALOFT.
SHIRLEY
Poetry in packaging.
That all got snipped and episode begins with Shirley saying the baby will love it. Soon after, we lost the important line, "Imagine, my brother's going to be a father and I'm going to be an aunt. (BEAT) Or should I be an 'awnt'?" In the episode as aired, we have no idea who the baby is. They also skipped Shirley saying, after Laverne has told her the bus is leaving in five minutes, "One last paper stork and it's ready." For some reason, the "bright blue teddy bear" became a blue elephant with a red beret.
Here's how Lyle's arrival and attack are described in the script:
LYLE NOWICKI, LAVERNE'S DATE FROM "YOUNG LUST", ENTERS BEHIND LAVERNE AND TAPS HER ON THE SHOULDER. LAVERNE TURNS AROUND AND LYLE KISSES HER.
Then after he says she got him the job because she wants him, he "starts stalking Laverne," and there's this:
LAVERNE
(MOVING AWAY FROM LYLE) Lyle, I got you the job because you were broke and desperate and begged.
LYLE
Admit it, Laverne, this thing is bigger than both of us.
LAVERNE
(LOOKING AT LYLE'S STOMACH) You can say that again.
LYLE
Laverne, why are you talking? Why not just let it happen?
He does stalk her in the filmed version, but they dropped that dialogue.
I have to note that the man buying an inflatable turtle for his mother-in-law is named Harvey, even though there's no need for him to be named for the viewers/readers, but the guy Laverne dates for a few weeks in "Tar Pits" is only called "Man."
The other male customer is "Hank Rosa, an easy-going man in his mid-thirties." (Larry Breeding was thirty-five.) His kissing Laverne's hands after complimenting them was added, as was his tweaking her nose after he gives her his "mother's" perfume.
Thoughts:
- Does Shirley always go into a whole routine when she gift-wraps, or is it just because of the special recipient?
- Also, which of her four brothers has just become a father? She was supposed to already have two nieces on "The Robot Lawsuit," back in Season Three, but maybe everyone has forgotten that by now.
- Was "Teenage Lust" known as "Young Lust" at some point or do the writers (Steve Granat and Mel Sherer) not even remember that?
- How did Lyle kissing Laverne end up with him lying on top of her on the gift-wrapping table?
- For that matter, why is Lyle even in this episode? It's not like Lyle working there impacts the plot at all, and we'd never see him again. He seemed kind of sweet in his previous episode and they had a cute although platonic connection. Here he's just her fat friend who doesn't care about consent.
- The Hank stuff is pretty faithful, but maybe they made him more physically affectionate because of Breeding's chemistry (and offscreen involvement) with Penny M.
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