"To Tell the Truth," Scene A

INT. GIRLS' APARTMENT - NIGHT

IT IS RAINING OUTSIDE.  LAVERNE, SHIRLEY, CARMINE, SONNY, LENNY AND SQUIGGY ARE SITTING IN THE LIVING ROOM.  LAVERNE AND SONNY ARE DOING HANDSTAND EXERCISE.  SQUIGGY AND LENNY ARE WATCHING.  SHIRLEY ENTERS FROM KITCHEN WITH PUDDING.

LAVERNE

It's bad enough we're stuck inside when it's pouring cats and dogs, but did you have to promise Rhonda we'd play one of Rhonda's dumb theatre games?

SQUIGGY

Don't knock theatre games.  Most of my male education was in the back of a theatre.

SHIRLEY

We're talking about the performing arts, not the balcony of some sleezy [sic] ten-cent peep show.

LAVERNE

I'll take the balcony anyday.

LENNY

Me too.  The best balcony's at the Kitty Kat Theatre.  There's no arms on the seats.

LAVERNE

(TO SONNY) Let's go to the Kitty Kat Theatre.

SONNY

C'mon, Laverne, let's give Rhonda's game a try.  I had a great time playing those games in my acting class.  I actually became a leaf of lettuce.

CARMINE

How'd you do that, put a scoop of tuna on your head?

SONNY

Don't be ridiculous.  I just concentrated on becoming limp.

RHONDA ENTERS, SHE HAS A DECK OF CARDS.

RHONDA

Hi-ho, everybody.  Rhonda's back.

EVERYBODY

Hi-ho.

RHONDA

Sorry I took so long, but Todd called.  He can't pick me up tomorrow night.  Poor guy, his car is in the shop again.  Take my advice, don't ever buy a Rolls Royce.

LAVERNE

Thanks, Rhonda, first thing in the morning I'll cancel my order.

RHONDA

Okay, for this game we need everyone to sit next to each other.

SHIRLEY DIRECTS THEM INTO THEIR SEATS.  EVERYBODY SITS.

That was all replaced by Rhonda's voiceover saying that she's going to have them play a rainy-day game.  So we just see them sitting on the couch and chairs, some of them (especially Lenny) eating pudding.  In the script, Rhonda "notices Laverne & Sonny kissing," so she says, "Laverne."  They dropped this after Rhonda explains how you "win":

LENNY

Sounds boring.

SHIRLEY

Rhonda why don't you go first and show us how it works?

RHONDA

Okay, here goes.  First you stand up and then you read the question.  (PICKING CARD, READING) "Who, in this room, do you think is your best friend?"  That's easy.  It's Laverne.  (SITS)

LAVERNE

Laverne who?

RHONDA

(LAUGHS) That's why we're so close.  We have the same sense of humor.

Instead, Rhonda has Carmine go first onscreen.  

They omitted Squiggy's comment on Lenny's suicide line, "Oh, sure, stick me with all the rent.  Selfish, selfish, selfish."  When Laverne softly says, "Angelface," Shirley originally asked, "What?  Angel fish?"

Squiggy saying that "Andrew" is his "baby name" seems to be another Landerism, as does him reading a card upside-down.  In the script, Shirley suggests that "you gentlemen," meaning Carmine and Sonny, help Rhonda when Squiggy's kissing her, and they both "pull Squiggy off Rhonda."  But onscreen, Sonny instead kisses Laverne.  Rhonda used to have the line, "Guess that's the price of being beautiful," prompting Squiggy's "Thank you."

And when Shirley tells Carmine it's his turn again, he was written to say, "Thank you, Angelfish."  This was omitted after Sonny asks what Carmine's comment about him means:

LAVERNE

Remember the last time you took me out to a nice restaurant?

SONNY

No.

LAVERNE

Neither do I.

CARMINE

See?  You're a cheapskate.

EVERYBODY AD-LIBS "OOO", "LOW BLOW", ETC.

SHIRLEY
Now boys, let's not get nasty.

SONNY

I'm not the one calling people names.

After Rhonda said that they're all growing closer, there was this bit:

SONNY

Yeah.  Closer to killing each other.

RHONDA

C'mon, Lenny, your turn to grow.

LENNY RISES AS IF HE IS GROWING.

SHIRLEY

No.  Take another card.

They added Laverne saying it would be stupid for Shirley to sew L's on her own clothes, because of her name.

In the script, Laverne throws the pudding over the couch, rather than at Shirley, prompting Sonny to protest, "Hey!  That was my pudding."

They dropped the very last line of the scene (and the act), Lenny's "...Sloppy, Grumpy, Lazy... (BEAT)  What happened to Donder and Blitzen?"

Thoughts:

• Squiggy's "male education," oh my!  And Shirley's reply.
• If you needed any more proof that Lenny is a better match for Laverne than Sonny is, Sonny would rather play Rhonda's theatre game than make out in a balcony with Laverne.
• Also, Sonny can become limp on command.
• And he never takes Laverne to a nice restaurant, unlike Lenny.
• But at least he kisses Laverne in both versions of this script.
• And he does have somewhat more of a personality in this version, or at least more lines.
• Todd is another of Rhonda's unseen rich boyfriends.
• Awww, poor deluded Rhonda.  Laverne would indeed become her best friend of those six by Season Eight, but definitely not at this point in the show.
• I wonder if Lander had them drop Squiggy's callousness towards Lenny's possible suicide.
• The "angel fish" thing is mildly funny.
• It's just as well they dropped Lenny's closing line.