Tuesday, February 1, 2022

"The Diner," Scenes E and H

We're at "Dead Lazlo's - later."  It's a short scene but they dropped the second half:

LAVERNE STARES AT THE ORDERS AS SHIRLEY STARTS OFF.

LAVERNE
(INTO MIKE) Betty.

SHIRLEY REACTS AND COMES BACK.

SHIRLEY
What now?

LAVERNE
What is this?  (INDICATES ORDER) You drew a picture of a sandwich with pimples.  And next to it is a hand grabbing a pickle.

SHIRLEY
Laverne, think.  Any child's fool could plainly see that's a ham sandwich on rye.  Hold the pickles.

LAVERNE
How could I possibly know that's a ham sandwich?

SHIRLEY
(INDICATES ORDER) Right here, the sandwich is saying "oink".

LAVERNE FLIPS HAMBURGER.  IT DOESN'T COME DOWN.

The next scene has the same setting, also "later."  Laverne's shock at the chicken tetrizini [sic] order was added.  They dropped Shirley telling the customers, "I'm busy.  All those who need to give orders shout them out to the chef," and then "everybody shouts."

In the script, Shirley does stand up to the customer who says that's not his order, by saying, "Who cares?  Eat it.  Sir."  But onscreen Shirley is too beaten down for that.

That "any child's fool" is not a Hello Cue is a minor crime.  Otherwise, what they kept is stronger than the material they dropped.

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