"The Diner," Scenes C and D

Another setting, the "Pizza Bowl - night":

LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY ARE AT A TABLE.  EDNA BRINGS THEM A PIZZA.

EDNA

Here ya go, girls.  Just the way you like it, well done, extra cheese and free.

The boys were supposed to cry when they admit to the girls that their restaurant has gone broke.  We later lost Squiggy asking, "What do ya think, we were born tomorrow?"

The filmed scene, and Act One, end with the four of them shaking, but there was a bit more in the script:

SHIRLEY

Laverne, thanks to you boys we've got ourselves a business.

THE GIRLS LOOK AT THE BOYS AND THE BOYS LOOK AT THE GIRLS, THEN:

LAVERNE/SHIRLEY        LENNY/SQUIGGY

(SOTTO TO EACH OTHER)     (SOTTO TO EACH OTHER)

Suckers.            Suckers.

Then it's back to "Dead Lazlo's - morning":

THE GIRLS HAVE FIXED UP THE PLACE.  THERE'S A "GRAND OPENING" SIGN ON THE WALL.  SHIRLEY IS PUTTING A VASE OF FLOWERS ON A TABLE.  SHE IS DRESSED IN A WAITRESS UNIFORM.

SHIRLEY

Hurry up, Laverne.  It's two minutes to seven.  We're just two minutes away from feeding Milwaukee's hungriest.

LAVERNE ENTERS FROM THE BACK WEARING A FRY COOK'S OUTFIT, COMPLETE WITH A BIG FLOPPY CHEF'S HAT.

LAVERNE

Okay, I'm ready.  You know, if we do good, Monday morning I'm gonna march to Mr. Shotz and tell him to go martinize himself.

SHIRLEY
Yeah.  We're our own bosses now.  This is a veritable dream come true.

LAVERNE OPENS A BUTTON ON SHIRLEY'S BLOUSE.

SHIRLEY

What are you doing?

LAVERNE

Look, Shirl, sometimes what customers see on the waitress is more important than what they see on the menu.  Know what I mean?

SHIRLEY

(BUTTONING UP) Boy, Laverne, just slap a little beef patty on that grill o' smut.

LAVERNE

Shirl.  Seven o'clock.

THEY GRAB MENUS.  SHIRLEY LOOKS AT THE CLOCK.

This was all replaced by Shirley's voiceover that they're about to open.

The rest of the scene is faithful, but there are some interesting handwritten notes.  On the cover of this reprint, someone wrote, "P. 20-21 D Show Biz Ed Mekka."

And then on p. 20-21, here's what that person wrote:

A few thoughts:

• The little opening bit with Edna isn't really necessary, but it does confirm my headcanon that the girls can eat free at the PB.
• Laverne wanting to tell Mr. Shotz to martinize himself is a follow-up to her having to get her L martinized in the opening scene, but it still sounds vaguely obscene.
• And Laverne trying to make Shirley's uniform sexier is also in questionable taste, especially considering how poor Shirley will be harassed later in the episode.
• "Linda," I believe, is Linda McMurray, who was usually assistant director on L&S but who gets a director credit here.