THE THEATRE IS ABOUT HALF FULL OF PEOPLE WEARING 3-D GLASSES. LAVERNE AND CARMINE ARE SEATED IN THE FRONT ROW. CARMINE HAS THE AISLE SEAT AND LAVERNE IS NEXT TO A LADY WEARING REGULAR GLASSES OVER HER 3-D GLASSES. ABOVE THE STRAIN OF MELODRAMATIC CARNIVAL MUSIC, WE HEAR THE WOMAN IN THE MOVIE SPEAK.
WOMAN (V.O.)
Alfred, don't turn around. Guido, the knife thrower, is following us. (BEAT) Alfred, look out for that knife!
THE AUDIENCE CRINGES AND DUCKS. THE WOMAN SCREAMS.
WOMAN (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Alfred, thank heavens you're alive. You owe your life to that poor, dead balloon man.
SHIRLEY AND TED ENTER, WEARING 3-D GLASSES. TED HAS A BOX OF POPCORN. SHIRLEY IS LOOKING FOR LAVERNE. TED STARTS TO MOVE INTO A ROW WHEN SHIRLEY SPOTS LAVERNE. SHE REACTS STRONGLY, YANKS TED BACK AND LEADS HIM TO THE FRONT ROW, AND THEY SIT DOWN.
LAVERNE
Oh you lucky dog, Alfred.
The aired scene starts with the female voiceover hoping they can lose Guido on the rollercoaster. Oddly enough, "Shirley and Ted enter" again, right before the woman warns Alfred about the keg of dynamite, as if they were already considering what to omit in this script but hadn't yet edited out that first part.
Laverne was supposed to "suck Carmine's fingers," not just lick them!
They skipped these stage directions after Carmine offers to buy Milk Duds:
SHIRLEY TAKES HER HAND[,] PUTS FINGERS IN TED'S MOUTH. LAVERNE DRUMS HER FINGERS UP CARMINE'S CHEST. SHIRLEY DRUMS HER FINGERS UP TED'S CHEST. LAVERNE SPEEDS UP THE FINGER BIT. SHIRLEY SPEEDS UP THE FINGER BIT. LAVERNE RUBS CARMINE'S CHEST VERY FAST. SHIRLEY RUBS TED'S CHEST VERY FAST.
And then both Carmine and Ted say, "Knock it off."
The middle-aged woman standing up and telling the two couples making out on the floor, "Cut it out!" was not in the script.
My main thoughts are I wish we got a bit more of the 3-D movie soundtrack on the air; and I'm a little surprised they left out some of the double makeout considering what they kept.
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