"Supermarket Sweep," Scene C

It's the girls' apartment again, this time at night:

LAVERNE IS ADJUSTING A BLANKET THAT COVERS A LARGE STATUE.

For some reason, "Pfister" is spelled "Phister."

After Shirley says that she and Laverne are "a finely-tuned shopping machine," the girls in the script demonstrate their teamwork:

SHIRLEY

(TO LAVERNE) Mozarella [sic] cheese.

LAVERNE

(RAPID FIRE) Dairy section, south wall, lower shelf.

SHIRLEY

Carmine's toilet paper.

LAVERNE

Aisle one-B, top shelf, yellow-double-ply extra soft.

SHIRLEY

Lenny and Squiggy's Bosco.

LAVERNE

Aisle two-A, top shelf, pump bottle if they got 'em.

SHIRLEY

We are so ready, I'm almost tempted to do this blindfolded.

EDNA

Let me try one.  Chuck roast.

LAVERNE

That's easy.  The meat section.

EDNA

You're right.  Pick one up for me.  Nicely marbled, not too fatty.

SHIRLEY

You got it.  And after that, we're free to stock up on our own favorite foods.

Then they dropped the last page, after Shirley says they can get everything if they remain calm:

THE GIRLS START TOWARD STATUE.

EDNA

Do your best, I've gotta go.

LAVERNE

Be sure to come early if you want a good seat.

EDNA

Don't forget my chuck roast.   (LOOKS TO GUNTHER) Mmmm, make that a rump roast.

EDNA EXITS.

SHIRLEY

She's so romantic.

LAVERNE

Boy, I can't wait.  We're gonna empty those shelves.

SHIRLEY
And burn up those aisles.

LAVERNE

And tear that place apart.

SHIRLEY

And grab, grab, grab... but always as ladies.

THEY CURTSEY WITH STATUE.

A few thoughts:

• The rapid-fire drill is cute but I can see why it was cut for time.
• I like that the statue is sometimes referred to as "Gunther" in the stage directions (after Mrs. B's first ski instructor, if you'll recall).
• "Rump roast," you naughty landlady!
• Shirley somehow sees this as romantic.
• Even as an anarchist, Shirley remains a lady.