"Honeymoon Hotel," Scenes J and K

We're still in the "Honeymoon Suite," but "a few hours later":

SHIRLEY IS DANCING WITH A DRUNK PROCTOLOGIST.  CARTS OF NEW FOOD ARE AROUND AND A WAITER JUMPS UP AND DOWN ON THE BED TO MAKE THE MUSIC PLAY.  SQUIGGY IS TALKING TO ANOTHER PROCTOLOGIST.

SQUIGGY

(TALKING TO PROCTOLOGIST)... Yes, Doctor, you're so right... That reminds me of an interesting case I had recently... The patient was a florist....

ANOTHER ANGLE.

LAVERNE AND BIG ROSIE ARE TALKING.  THEY ARE BOTH A LITTLE HIGH AND ROSIE HAS HER ARM AROUND LAVERNE'S SHOULDER.

ROSIE (CONT'D)

... You know, Laverne, this is like the old days.  The high school parties.  You and me and Shirley.  Some wine -- a couple of second string quarterbacks....

Onscreen, it's a juggler on the bed, there's no proctology talk, and we lose Rosie's line about the high school parties.  They also dropped Rosie saying, "Well, I was poor once too, you know.  Ha!  You think money makes a person happy.  It does."  And a bit later Rosie originally said, "You know I feel very close to you right now, Vernie," to which Laverne replied, "Don't worry, it'll pass with the champagne.  I promise you'll hate me in the morning."  There is no sign of the circus muscleman Rosie flirts with, because there is no circus in this version of the script.

The part with Mr. Gunther reacting and the girls' explanation did make it in, through Shirley saying it's traditional to spend the second night of the honeymoon with the whole family.  But Rosie saving the day with "bucks" was not in this version.  Instead, this is how it went:

MR. GUNTHER

(SKEPTICAL) Uh-huh and just where is the groom.

LAVERNE

Another old Italian tradition.  The groom goes bowling.

AT THAT MINUTE CARMINE COMES IN WITH TWO DANCE INSTRUCTORS ALL IN MAMBO COSTUMES.

CARMINE

We're here!  (HE SEES GUNTHER) Oh hi!

MR. GUNTHER

(REFERRING TO THE GIRLS) A couple of bowling trophies.  (TO SHIRLEY) I really think you made a mistake.  Take another card.  (HANDS HER A CARD)  Okay, Al, one last shot.  Gather everybody up.

THE WHOLE ROOM GATHERS TOGETHER AND POSES.  AL SHOOTS THE PICTURE AND WE FREEZE FRAME ON PICTURE.

That ends the scene and act.  Scene K reads in its entirety, "(TAG TO COME)"

Thoughts:

• Squiggy's remark to the proctologist reminds me of a dirty joke that I believe is '70s vintage.
• I assume Laverne and Rosie are "high" in the drunk sense, but who knows.
• I'm sorry we lost some Rosie lines, but on the other hand, it's great to have her come to the rescue onscreen.
• On the one hand, it's nice to get closure with Carmine as groom, and on the other it feels weak, and not just in contrast to the Rosie save.
• We also sort of get closure on Mr. Gunther's sideline, but again, not much of payoff.
• I have absolutely no idea what would've gone into a tag for this version.  You can see some of the potential here, especially in the scenes before we actually get to the hotel, but there's not really indication that this will result in one of the most delightful episodes in the series.  They had a long way to go from Final Draft to final filming.