"Bus Stop," Scene J

The clock onscreen says 11:00, but in the script it's only a "short time later" at the bus station.

The first couple pages made it in, but then instead of a fadeout as Shirley hits the Station Master with her purse, there was this:

SHIRLEY SPINS AND SLAPS THE MAN'S FACE.

SHIRLEY

Men!  You're all pigs.  You're a disgrace to your uniform.

STATION MASTER

And you floozies are not worth twenty-five.

LAVERNE

Oh yeah.  We're worth twenty-five dollars.  We're worth fifty bucks.  We're worth all the tea in China, buddy-boy.

SHIRLEY

What are you talking about?

LAVERNE

I don't know.

THE STATION MASTER LEAVES.

SHIRLEY

Well, Laverne.  We've hit rock bottom.  Mistaken for ladies of the evening in Oshkosh.

LAVERNE

They all got filthy minds.  Just 'cause two girls are alone in a bus station late at night asking for money, they think that... (BEAT)  I'd think that, too.  He made an honest mistake.  (TO STATION MASTER WHO IS O.S.) You made an honest mistake.

STATION MASTER (O.S.)

Forget it.

LAVERNE

Come on.  We might as well get dibs on this bench if we're gonna be here all night.

THE GIRLS GO TO THE BENCH.  IT IS JUST LONG ENOUGH FOR TWO PEOPLE END TO END.  THE BUM IS RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BENCH.

SHIRLEY

There's no room at the inn.

LAVERNE    

Don't worry.  We'll make room.

LAVERNE GRABS THE BUM'S FEET AND SLIDES HIM TO ONE END OF THE BENCH.

LAVERNE (CONT'D)

There.  Now at least we got half a dib.

THEY LIE DOWN TOGETHER.  SHIRLEY LIES NEXT TO LAVERNE.  THEY SETTLE, AND LAVERNE PUTS HER ARM OVER SHIRLEY.

SHIRLEY

I can't lie this way.  It's better if they'd sleep by the wall.  [I have no idea who "they" is.]

THEY CHANGE PLACES TO AN UNCOMFORTABLE POSITION.

LAVERNE

This isn't fair at all.  We were better off in the first place.

THEY START TO CHANGE PLACES AGAIN.  SHIRLEY FALLS OFF THE BENCH.  LAVERNE MAKES HERSELF COMFORTABLE.

LAVERNE (CONT'D)

What are you doin' down there?

Onscreen, some of the stage directions for the bench carried over, but the dialogue was different.

They left out the toilet flushing after they leave the bum in the men's room, but this was only seven years after All in the Family broke that taboo.

There's a "reset" while it stays the same scene.  The girls are supposed to be be "in funny sleeping positions," but it looks like they haven't moved.  The boys' dialogue as they enter isn't in the script and might be adlibs, but the "Sleeping Beauty" dialogue is only slightly modified from the script.  We did lose Squiggy asking, "Who's better equipped than the two of yours truly?'

And here are the very interesting stage directions and dialogue for the kissing and immediately afterwards.:

THE BOYS BEND DOWN AND KISS THE GIRLS.  THE GIRLS JUMP UP..

SHIRLEY

Masher!  Masher!

THE GIRLS FIGHT WITH THE BOYS FOR A MOMENT, THEN NOTICE WHO IT IS.

LENNY

Hey, you're punchin' Prince Charming.

SHIRLEY

Boys.  Oh, you wonderful boys.

After the boys exit, with Lenny's "Boy are they hard up" being changed to "Boy, and I thought we were hard up,"  this was omitted:

LAVERNE

And that guy didn't think I was worth twenty-five dollars.

SHIRLEY

He wasn't your father.

This is what was supposed to happen after Laverne says she put their names on the men's room wall:

SHIRLEY

You didn't?

SHIRLEY [sic]

Nah.  I'm kidding.  I put them on the blackboard.

SHIRLEY

What?

LAVERNE

You'll thank me later.

LAVERNE SHOVES SHIRLEY OUT.  THEY EXIT.  

WE MOVE IN ON THE BLACKBOARD TO SEE:

LAVERNE

&

SHIRLEY

5559156

Thoughts:

• I can see why the stuff about Laverne saying how much they're worth, and her forgiving the station master, didn't make it in.
• The changes in dialogue for the bench aren't that important, other than this wasn't set in stone.
• There you have it.  It was not specifically scripted as L/S and S/L change-up kisses.  I wonder how it ended up like that.
• Oh, you wonderful boys.
• Onscreen, it would be ambiguous whether Laverne is kidding about their phone number, but in this version, we actually see the anachronistic number on the blackboard.  (It should've been BUtterfield8 or Beechwood 4-5789 or something like that for 1960.)