"Lonely At the Middle," Scene B

It's "Laverne and Shirley's apartment - several hours later":

THEY WAITED AT THE BREWERY FOR SHIRLEY.  WHEN SHE DIDN'T COME BACK, THEY DECIDED TO RELOCATE.  THE CAPPERS ARE SITTING AROUND.  LEROY IS IN THE KITCHEN, AND A COUPLE OF PEOPLE ARE PLAYING CARDS, ETC.

This was dropped after Laverne says LeRoy (later Henry) is eating their raise before they get it:

LEROY

You know how it is with food.  Once you start eating it, you just can't stop.

LAVERNE

Yeah, I noticed there, LeRoy.

LEROY

(HUFFY) Well, I'm sorry.  I thought I was a guest in your home.

LAVERNE

You are a guest. (BEAT)  Two guests.

LEROY

Hey, look...

ANOTHER WORKER, IRIS, INTERVENES.

IRIS

Wait a minute.  Let's not fight each other.

LAVERNE

Yeah.  You're right.  I'm just kinda worried about my little buddy, Shirl.

LEROY

Do you have any marshmallow sauce?

Shirley slipping and calling Mr. Tompkins "Warren" was added.  So was Henry wanting to give Shirley a noogie.

Most of the script carried over with minor rephrasing, but here's the last page of the scene, instead of Laverne suggesting they break Shirley's legs if it doesn't work out:

LAVERNE

(SOTTO, TO SHIRLEY) Quiet.  I'm saving your life here.  (TO GROUP) I say we give this thing a chance.  Who we talkin' about here!  Shirl, our friend... Any of you every [not] get a Christmas card from Shirley Feeney?  Huh?  Huh?  And, LeRoy!  When your arm was in a cast, who forged all those signatures to make your friend think you were popular?  Huh?  Shirley Feeney... If Shirley Feeney can get us a raise -- without going out on strike -- then I say we back her!  

THERE IS A BEAT OF SILENCE

LAVERNE (CONT'D)

What do you say?

THERE IS A STIR OF RELUCTANCE.

LAVERNE (CONT'D)

Well?

LEROY

She did use all different color pens.

LAVERNE

What do you say?

THE GROUP STARTS NODDING IN AGREEMENT... OKAY.

LEROY

Okay.  We'll try it -- trial basis.

LAVERNE

Great !  (BEAT) Then, if it doesn't work, we can all be pregnant.

Thoughts:

• I'm amused by the prosy opening to the stage directions.
• Laverne and Leroy argue even more than Laverne and Henry.
• It's odd that Iris is introduced in this scene, even though she was in Scene A, more proof that this was an awkwardly transitional version.
• I like Laverne's speech in defense of Shirley, and the reactions, but I can see why this was cut for time.
• See, "pregnant" is a running joke, even for Laverne, who had a pregnancy scare months ago.