" 'Drive!' She Said" script, Scene A

It's now time to take a look at the Shooting Script, submitted on July 27, 1976, a month and a half after the Second Draft, and two months before airdate.

Act One, Scene A opens on an unspecified "driveway - day" (listed as "int." rather than "ext.):

A 1952 GREY HUDSON CONVERTIBLE SITS FACING THE AUDIENCE IN THE DRIVEWAY.  THERE ARE FOAM DICE HANGING FROM THE REARVIEW MIRROR.  SHIRLEY AND CARMINE ARE LOOKING AT THE CAR.

The first couple pages made it in intact, except for this disposable bit:

SHIRLEY

I don't know.  I don't know.

CARMINE

Just take your time and look it over.

SHIRLEY

Right.  I'll look it over.

SHIRLEY STARES AT THE CAR FOR A SECOND.

Onscreen, the bus driver slammed the door on Shirley's lips (ouch!), while this is what was omitted from the script:

SHIRLEY

Ever since I fell down the steps of the bus.

CARMINE

Well?

SHIRLEY

It's exactly how I pictured it.  Look, I can reach everything.

CARMINE

The car is you, Shirl.

SHIRLEY

Gray.  Gray is so... dark!

They left out Carmine saying, "Anyway, sometimes after the lesson, we go for coffee... and more lessons."

I'll note that Lucille is described as "sexy" and "in her mid-thirties."

The last three pages, after Carmine says Lucille is going to buy him a piano, got chopped:

SHIRLEY

Carmine!  Are you turning into a bit of a gigolo!

CARMINE

(DEFENSIVELY) Shirl...  Me?...  No... (THINKS A BEAT)  Maybe.

SHIRLEY

Well, look.  Behave yourself and give Lucille these for me...  (SHE PULLS THE DICE OFF THE REAR VIEW MIRROR)... I don't want anything ridiculous around my car.

CARMINE TAKES THE DICE.  LENNY AND SQUIGGY ENTER.

SQUIGGY

Hello.

CARMINE

What are these guys doing here?

SHIRLEY

(TO CARMINE) I asked them to check out the car.  They said they're experts.

LENNY AND SQUIGGY HAVE ALREADY GOTTEN THE HOOD UP.

CARMINE

Good move.  Let me know what you decide.

CARMINE EXITS.

LENNY

(TO SQUIGGY) Hmmmmmmm, not bad...

SHIRLEY

What do you think, guys?

LENNY

Yeah.  Let's see here... If I'm not mistaken, this is a '52 Hudson Wasp.

SHIRLEY

(TO SQUIGGY) Well, what do you think?

LENNY

Yeah, Hudsons are always a good buy!  You get twice the metal for the money.

LENNY IS WALKING AROUND THE CAR.

SQUIGGY

Hey, you didn't opt for the optional hydromatic automatic transmission.

LENNY

And you got the step-down monobuilt body "dash" cum frame design and recessed floor...  That was very big that year.

SQUIGGY

It needs one more test.

LENNY ROCKS ON FENDER AND CAR SQUEAKS.

LENNY

It needs oil.  Other than that, it's perfect.

SQUIGGY

Yeah, and if you ain't using it tonight, we're having some ladies drop by.  They're both named Gretchen.

SHIRLEY

Both named Gretchen?

SQUIGGY

Maybe we could drive them home in it...?

SHIRLEY

Sorry, fellas... if I buy it, I won't loan it out to anybody...

SQUIGGY

Yeah, that's fine for Gretchen.   But what about Gretchen?  She don't like to hitch.

SHIRLEY

Well, I've been through that.  I've had an entire lifetime of walking and hitching.  With this car, Shirley Feeney steps up to gracious living.

LENNY

Yeah, now you got a place to neck.

SHIRLEY

Don't be crude.  I got an apartment for that.  This car is for freedom and luxury.  (YELLS) Carmine!  Come out here!  I want this car!

CARMINE COMES OUT OF THE HOUSE.  WE HEAR LATIN MUSIC.

CARMINE

Hey, great!  You think you can get the money.

SHIRLEY

Don't worry.  I'll get it.

CARMINE

I'll tell Lucille.

SQUIGGY

Who's Lucille?

SHIRLEY

She owns this car.  (CONFIDENTIAL) I'm not sure but I think she's a loose woman.

LENNY AND SQUIGGY LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND RUN INTO THE HOUSE YELLING:

LENNY/SQUIGGY

Lucille!

Thoughts:

• They had definitely toned down the punctuation by this draft.
• The year, make, and color of the car have changed, but the dice remain.
• I assume the line about Shirley being able to reach everything is a reference to her petiteness.
• Having Carmine and Lucille in the scene definitely has a different, and I believe better, feel than Laverne and Clarence.
• Oh, wow, Shirley said the G-word!  But we were all thinking it.
• The boys' Hello Moment is similar to the earlier version, but here Shirley seems a bit more dubious about their expertise, although they're at least as authoritative.
• It feels a little odd to have Carmine exit while the boys are there, but it sets up the last part of the scene.
• I think the boys' dates both being Gretchen is funnier than the Gazelle sisters.
• I wish the necking exchange between Lenny and Shirley had been kept.
• Because Laverne isn't in this scene, we don't yet know how Shirley expects to get the rest of the money.
• Why would Shirley confide her suspicions of Lucille to the boys?  Didn't she know how they'd react?
• Overall, this is an improvement over Scene 1 in "Porcupine," and it's a pity that some version of the boys checking out the car didn't make it to air.