"Dog Day Blind Dates," Scenes 3 and 4

It's the Pizza Bowl at night:

ANGLE ON LENNY AND SQUIGGY AT THE DRVING MACHINE.  LENNY IS DRIVING AND SQUIGGY IS TAUNTING HIM.  CARMINE ENTERS.

Yep, Carmine was supposed to be in this scene, so we lost him asking, "Hi, guys. Have you seen Shirley?"  But other than that the first page of dialogue is mostly intact.  Except somehow lines got switched around, even though it just said that Lenny is driving:

LENNY

Oh, yeah?  Then how come you just hit a cow?

SQUIGGY

That was no cow.  That was a lady farmer.

CARMINE

You should've honked.  Listen, guys, if you see Shirl, tell her I'm dedicating my fight to her tomorrow night, because she's my best girl.  But if I lose, she shouldn't take it personally.

LENNY

Good luck on the fight.

CARMINE

I don't need luck.  I'm fighting Mad Dog Collins.  All I have to do is make sure he doesn't bite me.

CARMINE EXITS OUT BACK DOOR.

Carmine ended up on the cutting room floor and then the scene goes from Lenny (not Squiggy) hitting a school bus (not a lady farmer) right to the double-daters coming in.  Therefore, the scripted lines of Squiggy saying, "Hey, Shirl, Carmine is dedicating his fight to you tomorrow night and says you shouldn't take it personal," and her confused "Thanks, Squiggy.  I wonder what the message really was" of course are omitted.

Frank and Laverne's affectionate greeting and her introduction of Charles and Buck were added, since in the script Frank goes right into kicking the customers out.  Laverne remarks in the script, "My father used to be with the diplomatic corps," rather than "My father built his business on his charm."   And then came the introductions, and then this:

FRANK

Now remember, this is a special favor.  Leave the place the same way you found it.

LAVERNE

We will.

FRANK

(TO CROWD) Don't you understand the word "out"?  Okay, I'll make it in more simple terms.

HE JERKS HIS THUMB TOWARD THE DOOR.  PEOPLE FILE OUT.

CHARLES

Don't worry about a thing, Mr. De Fazio.

FRANK

(TO LAVERNE) Remember to turn out the lights in the alley.

LAVERNE

Check.

FRANK

Turn off the heat.

LAVERNE

Check.

FRANK

I'm gonna lock the door when I leave.  You know where the spare keys are.

LAVERNE

Check.

FRANK

I'm trusting you, Shirley.

SHIRLEY

(THEY START WALKING) I won't let you down.  Let's take a look at the north forty.

BUCK

You got forty alleys in there.

SHIRLEY

No, Buck.  It's just a western -- aw, forget it.

Onscreen, after Shirley and Buck exit to the bowling alley with different dialogue, Laverne simply tells her pop that they'll take care of everything and he says he hopes so and he'll lock up when he leaves.  And then from Frank telling Laverne to "throw those bums," i.e. Lenny and Squiggy, out through Laverne suggesting she and Charles leave it's unchanged, except for some reason the stage direction says that "Squiggy is now 'driving.' "

Charles's apology, Squiggy's defiance, and Laverne's scolding were added.  Interestingly, so was her telling Charles that these are her friends, although she's not proud of that.

Shirley's line about loving cowboy movies was added, but we lost Buck saying, "Hey, Charles.  They got it so the ball comes right back, so you don't gotta run after it."  

This was omitted:

LAVERNE

(TO CHARLES) Isn't that a little strange?  Taking a suitcase to the bathroom.

CHARLES

Buck's a little peculiar.  He likes to change his shirt a few times a day.  I'll get us some beer.

CHARLES GOES TO COUNTER.

SHIRLEY

(TO LAVERNE)  Well, a lot of people do odd things, Laverne.  You're the only person I know who tap dances in the shower.

LAVERNE

You gotta tell everybody my whole life.

Scene 4 is only  a little over a page long and it's set at the P.B., "later":

SHIRLEY, LAVERNE AND CHARLES ARE SITTING AT THE TABLE.  BEER GLASSES ARE EMPTY.  LENNY AND SQUIGGY ARE STILL SITTING AT THE CAR MACHINE.

CHARLES

Don't worry.  As soon as Buck comes out we'll bowl.

CHARLES CROSSES FOR REFILLS.

SHIRLEY

Buck hates me, Vernie.  He's spending the whole night in the bathroom.

LAVERNE

He has been in there a long time, but I don't think he hates you.

SHIRLEY

Yes he does.  That's where I always hide when I hate my date.

Squiggy's classic line, "Boy, he had to go bad!" wasn't in the script, so I'm going to assume Lander came up with it.

The scene and the act end with Laverne's line, "You're robbing the bathroom?"  But onscreen we have Charles saying that they're robbing the bank next door, and Laverne and Shirley piece things together before the commercial break.

Thoughts:

• I understand that they wanted to include all the regulars when possible, but Carmine isn't really necessary in this scene (or later), as the filmed version would prove.  Still, it's sort of sweet that he wants to dedicate his boxing match to Shirley.
• Frank in the final version spends more time kicking people out and less time worrying about the girls taking care of the P.B. in his absence.  (And the phrasing makes it sound like Frank trusts Shirley more than Laverne.)
• The script definitely plays up more of Buck's ignorance of Western/cowboy lore, yet Shirley doesn't seem suspicious, while in the filmed version she thinks Buck is sweet and authentic and she doesn't trust Charles.  
• And the girls' discussion of how much Shirley likes Buck, despite his odd habits, is not in the script, which instead has Shirley assuming Buck hates her.
• Exactly how much time passes between Scenes 3 and 4?  At least enough for them to drink their beers.  Shirley says "the whole night," but I assume she's exaggerating.
• Wait, so like with tap shoes?  How does that work in the shower?
• And the boys are clearly not in any hurry to leave.
• I like Shirley using "Vernie" in the script, very Season One.
• Shirley apparently hates enough of her dates to have made a habit of hiding in the restroom.
• Yet again, it's smoother and funnier onscreen, and we don't need a time-skip for the explosion.  It's better to just go right to it.
• This combined scene continued onscreen, but we'll get to that next time, since there's a lot to Scene 5, twenty pages' worth!