"A Date with Morky"

"The last time I was here, I caused a big problem, too."  Right spang in the middle of the premiere of Mork & Mindy on September 14, 1978 came the ultimate Marshallverse crossover, and it's time to talk about it.  "About 20 bleems ago" (which is 40,000 years ago, but OK), Mork was on Earth to "visit his friend the Fonz."  Never mind that Mork tried to abduct Richie, threatened to destroy Arnold's for fun, and succeeded in stripping Ralph Malph down to undershorts.  Or that "it was all a dream."  It's Retcon City.  And after that initial visit, Mork apparently befriended the Fonz enough to get dating advice.  And who better to practice on than Laverne DeFazio?

MORK: Are you interested?

MINDY: Oh, definitely.

MORK: Then prepare time-warp sequence.

In what I presume is 1960, the Fonz is house-sitting for the Cunninghams, who are on vacation.  (Earlier in that week, Fonzie and the Cunninghams went to a Colorado dude ranch, and M & M is set in Colorado, but that's probably a coincidence.)  The Fonz gets annoyed that a girl calling for Richie doesn't respond to his charms.

An egg lands in the yard with sound effects, which Fonzie assumes are Ralph trying to be funny.  He's startled to find Mork on the doorstep.  Fonzie assumes he's dreaming, but Mork says previously he had to erase Fonzie's memory to preserve his sanity.

Mork is puzzled by the ritual of "men dating women."  Maybe he observed a bit of this at Arnold's.  Anyway, that's the set-up so deal with it.  They briefly discuss gender on Ork, which is retconned from before but whatever.  Fonzie describes kissing as a boy and a girl sliding their lips together.  Mork wants Fonzie to introduce him to a girl, but Fonzie says it'll be difficult.  Mork suggests that the two of them slide lips.  Fonzie's not going for it.

Mork says Fonzie is "known throughout the universe for his expertise in this field."  The flattery works so Fonzie sends Mork upstairs to change into Richie's clothes.  The Fonz says it's a good thing Mork didn't land at Potsie's house.  (Which I kind of want to see now.)

Fonzie considers various chicks, including the Hooper Triplets.  Then he thinks of the perfect one and dials.

The next scene opens with Laverne, in one of her signature outfits, coming by the Cunningham abode and yelling at I think the bus driver, since she came by bus.

The audience understandably applauds, Fonzie greets her with a kiss, she shows off her outfit, and we go to commercial.

When we return, Laverne asks if this Mork guy is tall, dark, and handsome.  Fonzie says Mork is a foreigner.  In her Brooklyn whine, Laverne says she doesn't like foreigners because they talk funny.  Fonzie is going to have to convince her more.

He tells her that Mork is from Ork and has her wait outside while he briefs Mork on American customs.

Mork reenters in plaid, jeans, white socks, and penny loafers.  He and Fonzie discuss kissing a little more, and then what Lenny would call Mork's "pleasure center" appears to be on the wrist.  Even seeing Fonzie touch his own wrist sends Mork into what the captions describe as "ecstatic gasping."  Mork tells of how the zazbot once overcame him to the point that he "jerked her earlobe."  Mork sobs in shame and Fonzie holds him.  (And poor Henry has to try to keep from laughing at Robin.)  

Laverne says Fonzie's two minutes are up and she comes in.  And worlds collide!

Laverne and Mork look at each other like they like what they see, or at least he imitates her body language.  She winks at Fonzie approvingly as she strolls over to "Morky."  He gives her the "Nanu-nanu" greeting and she gives Fonzie a look like What have you set me up with?

Fonzie tries to excuse himself out of the room but Laverne asks if he "fixed her up with another jerk."  (What other jerks has he fixed her up with?)  Mork starts dancing The Jerk, which is circa 1964, so that probably further puzzles her.

Laverne tells the Fonz she washed her hair for this and ironed her skirt.  He reminds her that Mork is a foreigner and doesn't know their customs.  She'll stay if Mork won't jerk.  Then she sprays on perfume, while Fonzie advises Mork to do what Laverne does, since "she knows the ropes."  Fonzie heads upstairs, laughing about what Mork said about ropes.

Laverne asks Morky if Ork is near Greece, so he starts talking about grease and other lubricants.  (Honestly, this episode sounds naughtier than it is when I type all this out.)  

MORK: Is it time to flatter you?

LAVERNE: Sure.

MORK: You have a lovely fungus growing out of your head.

He explains and she says, "Yeah, I always wear mildew when I wanna impress a guy.  What did Fonzie do to me?"

He asks if it's time to kiss.  She says no and has him sit on the couch.  So of course he sits on his face.  Laverne really can't believe this.  They both sit "Fonz-style."  He sits too close so they move to opposite ends of the couch.  He copies her body language.  

She thinks he's making fun of her and threatens a fat lip.  He feels rejected and "returns to hatchling state."  She tells him, "Don't suck your finger.  Your teeth will end up like mine."  She feels sorry for him and offers to be his friend.  Unfortunately, she touches his wrist.

He wants to jerk her earlobe, an act which appears to be called "gangnab."  She kicks his ankle so he kicks both of hers.  He chases her around the living room.  She says she liked him better as a baby.  He grabs her earlobe when they're behind the couch, so she slaps him and runs upstairs, yelling, "Fonz!  Fonz!  He wants my earlobe!"  He tells the empty room, "I think she likes me."

Back in present-day Boulder, Mork is still lusting after Laverne's lobes and says he just wanted to tweak them.  Mindy says that's what got him into trouble last time.  And that's the end of the crossover.

I don't like the rapey undertones, but I do like how Winkler, Marshall, and R. Williams play off of each other in this minisode.  Never again would more than two Marshallverse casts get together (not counting real life of course, like for baseball games), but this is a good melding of the three different tones of the shows, although we're sort of back to the brassy Laverne of '75.  And I guess we can be glad the Fonz didn't fix Mork up with Shirley.