"Bowling for Razzberries" script, Scene C

And now we go to the other set, the girls' apartment, in the morning:

SHIRLEY IS LAYING OUT HER CLOTHES.  LAVERNE ENTERS FROM THE BEDROOM.

LAVERNE

Good morning, Shirl.

SHIRLEY SPRINGS INTO ACTION.

SHIRLEY

All right, Laverne, now don't worry.  Everything is going to be okay.

LAVERNE

(SCARED) What happened?

SHIRLEY

Lie down.

LAVERNE

(SITS ON THE COUCH) What is it?  Was there an accident?  My father?

SHIRLEY

It's you.

LAVERNE

I had an accident?  I was just asleep.

SHIRLEY

Laverne, get hold of yourself.  You're very sick.

LAVERNE

I feel okay.

SHIRLEY

You should've heard the noises you made in your sleep.  Like you were struggling for air.  I sat on the edge of my bed watching you all night.

LAVERNE

I was probably snoring.

SHIRLEY

Don't kid me.  This cold's been coming on for a long time.  Didn't you tell me you made out with one of the Antinelli brothers and he had a cold?

LAVERNE

He had an allergy.

SHIRELY

What's he allergic to?

LAVERNE

How do I know?  Maybe the stuff they clean the hallway with?

SHIRLEY

You made out in the hallway?

LAVERNE

Where do you go, Niagara Falls?

LAVERNE SNEEZES AND BLOWS HER NOSE.  SHIRLEY TAKES OFF HER ROBE.  SHE HAS ON PAJAMAS.

SHIRLEY

It's a good thing I called the doctor.

LAVERNE

Why'd you call the doctor?  I got a big day.  I have to practice.  I'm bowling against Karen tonight.

SHIRLEY

(CHUCKS LAVERNE ON THE CHIN) Let's hope so, Laverne.  You got such moxie.

CARMINE RAGUSA LOOKS IN THE WINDOW.

CARMINE

(THROUGH WINDOW) Hi, Laverne.

LAVERNE

Carmine, you scared me!

SHIRLEY COVERS UP.

SHIRLEY

Would you close the curtains, please?

CARMINE

No, hey, I gotta talk to you, Laverne.

LAVERNE

Come on down.  He's crazy about you, Shirl.  He was probably hoping to serenade you by the window.

SHIRLEY

What do you mean, serenade me?  He's coming to talk to you.

THERE'S A KNOCK ON THE DOOR.

SHIRLEY

(AT DOOR) Who is it?

CARMINE

What do you mean, who is it?  It's me, Carmine.

These three pages all got axed and the scene onscreen starts with his knock and her answering, including him calling himself the Big Ragoo.  The part of the scene with him in the room is basically intact, but him singing "Rags to Riches" was added.

Shirley saying that she "talked the doctor into leaving the hospital" was omitted.

After Laverne says she wants to be there when the team wins, this happened:

SHIRLEY

I know, revenge.  I'm sorry I ever made a big deal out of this bowling tournament.  All right, I've said all I'm going to say.  If you refuse to stay and wait for the doctor, I'm going to get two big guys to keep you here.

LAVERNE SNEEZES.

SHIRLEY (CONT'D)

Bless you.

LAVERNE

Sure.  Hire "goons" against your friend.

In the filmed version, Laverne says she's wanted to tell Karen what she's wanted to tell her for five years, and then she blows a razzberry.  Shirley does wish she had never made a big deal out of the tournament, but there are no goons mentioned.

The rest of the scene is the same but in the script Shirley races back into the room rather than walking in after she catches Laverne trying to leave.  And that ends Act One.

Thoughts:

• I can see why the first part of this scene was cut for time, but it really shows Shirley as mother hen, even watching Laverne while she sleeps.  (In later episodes, this would be less motherly, as when she eavesdrops on her roommate's romantic dreams.)
• Does Shirley not know which Antinelli brother it was?  Does Laverne?
• Shirley is surprised by Laverne making out in a hallway.  I want to know was it a hallway in the apartment building, at work, other?
• Now I want to hear Cindy Williams say "moxie" in her Season One accent.
• This is early enough that Carmine, one, has to be referred to by his full name in the script, and two, got a couple of his signature elements added sometime between the Shooting Script and the actual shooting.
• Laverne is definitely a Shirmine shipper here, unless the "crazy about you" line was there for the audience's sake and then dropped along with the rest of the part before he enters.
• When Shirley said she was going to "get two big guys to keep" Laverne in the apartment, my mind took a smuttier turn than goons, especially with all the borderline trampy-Laverne lines in the script already.
• In the filmed version, I have to wonder, how long were they supposed to have worked at Shotz in early canon?  Or has she hated Karen since high school?