"How's Your Sister?", Scene D

This scene is set "party - several nights later."  Since the party is supposed to be on a Saturday, but less than a week later (since Rhonda didn't say "next Saturday" or similar), then I'll assume that Scenes B and C were set on a Sunday, Monday, or Tuesday, with Scene A the day before.

IT IS THE HUGE LIVING ROOM OF A PALATIAL HOME.  MANY ATTRACTIVE WOMEN AND NOT TOO MANY MEN ARE MILLING ABOUT.  RHONDA IS TALKING WITH A GOOD-LOOKNG MAN.  A FEW COUPLES ARE DANCING TO THE PIANO MUSIC.  CARMINE AND SQUENDELYN ENTER.  CARMINE IS WEARING A DERBY PULLED LOW OVER HIS FACE.

They added Squendelyn exclaiming over the party and pulling Carmine in.  Also the "little Squendy Wendy" is probably a Landerian addition.  In the script, Squen calls Carmine a "teddy bear," while onscreen it's "bad widdle rabbit."

They deleted Squendelyn "passing Squiggy on the way," as she goes to hang up Carmine's hat, and Squig telling his sister, "My goodness.  You're a woman.  You've grown up behind my eyes.

Terri and Tanya are described in the script as "two good lookers."

In the script, Squen calls Carmine "my impetuous little party boy," while onscreen it's "my impetuous little Brillo-head," a rare time when she's bitchier in the final version.  Then they left out this stage direction:

SHE DOES SHIRLEY WALK.  WHEN SHE ARRIVES AT CARMINE, SHE WALKS HER FINGERS OVER HIS CHEST AND FACE.

Onscreen, she touches him but it's milder.

Judy is described as merely "a cute girl."  Squen's reply to Rhonda and Judy dating the same swami was originally "Must have been crowded," which was improved to "Who slept on the nails?"  Onscreen, after Judy leaves, Squen insecurely says, "I could look like that if I had my teeth cleaned professionally," while this is how it went in the script:

SQUENDELYN

Well, honestly, those shoes with that dress -- the girl's a dog.

CARMINE

Maybe I should take her for a walk.

SQUENDELYN

Oh, Carmine, you're such a clown.  That reminds me.  I'm gonna go powder my nose.

Onscreen Squen says she left her retainer at the sink, so she goes to get it.  In the script, "She kisses him on cheek and puts Carmine's finger on his cheek," telling him, "Save my place."  Onscreen she doesn't kiss him but puts her own finger to Carmine's cheek and says "X marks the spot."

Patti is described as "a beautiful girl."

Carmine does not speak to God in the script.  Instead there was this after the waiter goes to meet Tanya and Terri in the kitchen:

CARMINE STANDS, HOLDING THE TRAY OF DRINKS.  AMELIA, A CUTE SOUTHERN BELLE, TAKES ONE OF THE FOUR DRINKS ON THE TRAY.

AMELIA

You're much too cute to be a waiter.

CARMINE

Oh, I'm just holding this for a friend.  I'm really a guest.

AMELIA

What delightful news.  Are you alone?

CARMINE

(MOANS) Yes.  No.  Yes.  No.

AMELIA

I love indecisive men.

CARMINE

Please, I don't have any more cold water.

CARMINE SPOTS SQUIGGY ENTERING WITH TWO BEAUTIFUL WOMEN.

CARMINE (CONT'D)

Excuse me.  I've got to talk to somebody.

Onscreen Squiggy's lines to the two women he's already onstage with and his greeting to Carmine sound like Landerian adlibs.

Sheila, the final temptress, is not described, even as cute.  Onscreen Squen doing the Shirley Walk ended up in the spot where she's trying to get Carmine's attention while he's dancing with Sheila.  In the script, she says, "Carmine, you rogue.  What are you up to?  Trying to make me jealous?"

They left out this, after Squen says they're crazy in love:

CARMINE

Don't talk, just dance.

SHEILA LEAVES.  WE HEAR THE PIANO START TO PLAY THE THEME TO "ROMEO AND JULIET."  AS CARMINE AND SQUENDELYN DANCE, WE PULL BACK TO SEE THE WAITER DANCING WITH TANYA AND TERRI.

Some thoughts:

• I sort of wish Squiggy's comment on Squen growing up was in there, although it doesn't make any sense, considering he's seen her very recently.  On the other hand, Lander obviously added his own material, so it's fine.
• They definitely toned down Squen touching Carmine.  I wonder if Mekka objected.  (I feel like Lander would've gone for it, because he's submerged into this "sister" character like he's auditioning for Tootsie.)
• Squen comes across as more insecure, especially about her looks, onscreen than in the script.
• I can see why they omitted Amelia, since they didn't need yet another woman throwing herself at Carmine in this scene.  Incidentally, all the parts were cast by the time of this Shooting Script, and the unlucky actress losing her chance to play the Southern belle was Bobbie Eakes, Miss Georgia of 1982.  She'd go on to The Bold and the Beautiful among other shows, but her onscreen acting debut was a Matlock episode in 1986.  I'm sure she has few if any regrets about missing this series' Season Eight.