"How's Your Sister?", Scene C

The first scene of Act Two is set in Laverne's bedroom, "later that night":

THE ROOM IS DARK.  THERE IS A CLOTHESLINE STRUNG ACROSS THE ROOM, HANGING FROM WHICH ARE ARE SEVERAL SLIPS, BRASSIERES, AND PAIRS OF STOCKINGS.  SQUENDELYN IS ASLEEP ON THE BED SNORING, LYING DIAGONALLY ACROSS IT.  SHE WEARS A PINK SLEEPING MASK.  LAVERNE ENTERS, AND NOT SEEING THE CLOTHESLINE IN THE DARK, WALKS INTO IT AND BECOMES ENTANGLED IN IT.  SQUENDELYN WAKES UP.

SQUENDELYN

Help!  I can't see.  Take anything you want in the room, but let my body be.

LAVERNE BEGINS TO UNTANGLE THE CLOTHESLINE.

LAVERNE

It's me, Squen.  You should be careful where you put your stuff.  Those underwire bras can be dangerous weapons.

SHE TURNS ON THE LIGHT.  SQUENDELYN REMOVES HER MASK.

SQUENDELYN

Laverne, oh, I'm so glad it's you.  My, you're looking well these days.  What have you done with your hair?

LAVERNE

I've kept it awake for twenty-four hours.  Now I'm gonna give it a rest.  I wanna get ready for bed.  Why don't you pick your stuff up off the floor?

LAVERNE CROSSES INTO THE BATHROOM AND CLOSES THE DOOR. SQUENDELYN STARTS PICKING UP HER UNDERGARMENTS.

SQUENDELYN

Where should I put this?

LAVERNE (O.S.)

Anywhere.  Make yourself comfortable.

SQUENDELYN

You're very considerate.

SQUENDELYN LOOKS AROUND, THEN CROSSES TO LAVERNE'S DRESSER, OPENS A DRAWER, TAKES ALL OF LAVERNE'S THINGS OUT AND DUMPS THEM ON THE FLOOR.  SHE THEN PUTS HER STUFF NEATLY IN THE DRAWER AND CLOSES IT.  LAVERNE REENTERS, DRESSED IN PAJAMAS.

LAVERNE

Did you find a place to...  (NOTICES STUFF ON FLOOR)  You found a place.  We'll clean it up in the morning.  I'm going to bed.

LAVERNE TURNS OFF THE LIGHTS AND GETS INTO BED.  SQUENDELYN GETS INTO BED.  AS LAVERNE TRIES TO GET COMFORTABLE, SQUENDELYN MOVES CLOSER AND CLOSER TO HER, UNTL SHE [Squendelyn] IS BREATHING ON HER [Laverne's] FACE.

LAVERNE (CONT'D)

Squendelyn, you're startin' to fog up my face.

SQUENDELYN

I need to talk.  Woman to woman.

LAVERNE

There' a mirror in the bathroom.  Knock yourself out.

SQUENDELYN

But Laverne, this is just like the pajama parties I was never invited to.  They were always afraid my brother would show up.

All of this got chopped, and when the filmed scene opens, the girls are in Laverne's bed and Laverne is asleep, until Squen nudges her out of bed.

The next few lines made it in, but instead of Squen saying that she thinks Carmine has a crush on her, there was this:

SQUENDELYN

Oh, yes.  I think he's quite smitten with me.  In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if someday I became Squendelyn Ragusa.  Mrs. Big Squagoo.

LAVERNE WAKES UP AND TURNS ON THE LIGHT.

LAVERNE

All of a sudden I'm not so sleepy.  Carmine proposed?

SQUENDELYN

No, but with your help, it won't be long....

After Laverne admits to reading Shirley's diary, Squen originally said, "It would be a tragedy for a beautiful girl like me to get dumped twice in the same month."

In the script, "Squendelyn strikes a repulsive pose," while onscreen this became the kissy-face that she apparently taught her brother.

The stage direction calls what I call the Shirley Shimmy "the 'Shirley Seduction Walk.' "  In the script, Squen says, "Ooooh, this is nice.  Let me try it," and imitates Laverne imitating Shirley, including 
"starting to run her fingers up Laverne," until "Laverne grabs her hand and stops her," while onscreen Squen is more skeptical.

This is what was left out of the last part of the scene, after Squen asks if she can leave the light on and Laverne replies with a snore:

SQUENDELYN REACHES FOR A DIARY AND STARTS TO WRITE.

SQUENDELYN (V.O.)

"Dear Diary.  Today I met the most wonderful man... Please change all previous Arnie's to Carmine's."

My thoughts:

• Squen is again worse in the script than onscreen, here very much inconveniencing Laverne.  Perhaps Lander wanted to tone this down, to make the two siblings more different.  Of course, this has the effect of making Carmine's behavior come across worse, if he's mistreating someone relatively sweeter.
• The "let my body be" line isn't the most tasteless rape joke on the series, or even in Season Eight, but I'm glad it was dropped.  (Well, it could've been worse, if they'd joked that Squen wanted to be raped.)
• Laverne saying her hair has been awake for 24 hours might be an easy!Laverne line, if she weren't so busy at the aerospace company.
• It's implied that Squen just made herself at home while Laverne was at work, and they haven't seen each other since perhaps Laverne moved to California.
• I do like the "pajama parties" line.
• In the script, Squen seems more convinced of the seriousness of her "relationship" with Carmine, which is sadder and more delusional.
• There's more of a lesbian or bi-curious feel to Squen's reaction to and version of Shirley's "seduction technique" in the script than onscreen.
• The closing line is also sad and delusional, while simultaneously funny, although Squen didn't exactly just meet Carmine that day.  And I like the idea that she keeps a diary, just like Shirley did, as if she is some sort of Bizarro World version of Laverne's old roommate.