"Moving In" script, Scene A

This is the shooting script, from November 2, 1981, and yet the first scene is completely absent from the version that aired.

We begin at the girls' apartment, at night.

DAVID AND LAVERNE ENTER KISSING.

DAVID

What's the matter?

LAVERNE

I can't get it out.

DAVID

Don't force it.  Jiggle it.

LAVERNE

I'm jiggling it.

DAVID

Is it out?

LAVERNE

Yeah, it's out.  I gotta get this lock fixed.

DAVID

(PULLING LAVERNE OVER TO THE SOFA) Well?  What do you think?

LAVERNE

I think I'm crazy about you.

DAVID

Laverne, I mean what we've been talking about in the car.

LAVERNE

You think we should, huh?

DAVID

Yes, I definitely think we should.  How about right now?

LAVERNE

Nah.  It's too late.  I'd be rushed.

DAVID

How about bright and early in the morning?

LAVERNE

No, not in the morning.  I'm no good in the morning.

DAVID

The afternoon?

LAVERNE

I'm better.  You're sure this is right?

DAVID

(HUGS HER) How does this feel?

LAVERNE

Right.

DAVID

And it'll feel better tomorrow.

DAVID EXITS.

LAVERNE

I'm so nervous.

LAVERNE RUNS UPSTAIRS.

Thought experiment: Pretend you don't know what this episode is about.  Imagine seeing this scene as described.  We don't know the name of this guy, although he does address Laverne by name.  He appears to be her latest boyfriend, whom she's crazy about.  But what do you think they were talking about in the car?

1. Some sport or other hobby that this man is into but that Laverne is nervous about?  It would have to be something that could be done at all hours and that she wouldn't want to rush.
2. An exciting investment opportunity?  OK, unlikely that they could do it at night, especially before the Internet.
3. Sex or some sexual practice?  Well, this is an ABC sitcom of the early '80s, so we're certainly supposed to let that thought cross our minds.  If so, Laverne has done it before, since she knows she's no good in the morning, but she hasn't yet done it with this man, which is why she's nervous.
4. An invitation to live with her boyfriend?  Nah, why would he want to have her move at night?

I'm amused that Laverne still has trouble with her key getting stuck in the door, even after leaving Milwaukee.  But talk about innuendo!