Monday, December 21, 2020

"Child's Play" script, Scene H

It's back to Cowboy Bill's, with "continuous action."  Here's what was omitted:

RHONDA
He's dead.  Humpty-Dumpty, the love of Miss Muffet's life.  Wrenched mercilessly from my bosom!  (SURVEYS ROOM, LOOKS AT FRANK) Who could the murderer be?

FRANK
(HOWLING)  Ooooow!  Oooooow!  It's not me.  They're always blaming the wolf.  Get off my back, will you?

Then the next two-thirds of a page, with Edna singing and dying, Carmine singing and not dying, and Rhonda dying but not singing, made it in.   The rest got left out:

FRANK
I'll bet it's that nasty Mr. Cow.  He always looks so contented.

SQUIGGY
Moo.  Moo.  Does anyone have some chocolate chip cookies to go with my...

SQUIGGY DROPS DEAD, SPILLING THE MILK ON HIMSELF.

CARMINE
(SINGING) ANOTHER SENSELESS KILLING.  ANOTHER SENSELESS DEATH.  THAT MEANS IT'S JUST ME, THE HANDSOME PRINCE, AND YOU, THE BIG BAD WOLF, AND... I BETTER GO PROTECT SLEEPING BEAUTY.

FRANK
We don't got a Sleeping Beauty.

EVERYONE POPS UP AD-LIBBING "I'LL BE SLEEPING BEAUTY."  AS THEY ARGUE OVER WHO SHOULD PLAY THE PART, WE:

CUT TO:

And then it's on to Scene J.

This is the most changed scene of the script so far and has a few things worth noting:
  1. This fills in some of the play's "plot" that we miss in the aired episode.
  2. Shirley not only romantically paired Laverne and Carmine as Sleeping Beauty and Handsome Prince, but she apparently paired the less expected Humpty and Muffet, i.e. Lenny and Rhonda.  Shipping is often a strange thing on this series.
  3. I don't know which makes less sense, that Squiggy could ever look contented, or that contentment could lead to murder.  (Or is he contented because he's a murderer?)  Or for that matter, why is it "Mr. Cow"?
  4. And now I'm going to wonder who got to be Sleeping Beauty and thus kissed by Carmine.

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