"We're in the Army Now" script, Scene B

It's again the girls' apartment at night, but presumably the next evening.  The scene starts out the way it was shot, with Carmine singing and dancing to "Rags to Riches" after the girls come in to the room he's decorated for the celebration, but in the episode he goes to get "dolled-up" Boo Boo Kitty while the girls vent about losing the promotion to two girls who went to industrial training.  Here's what happened in the script:

...CARMINE CONTINUES TO SING AND DANCE AROUND SHIRLEY WHO IS STARING INTO SPACE.  SHIRLEY SILENTLY MOUTHS "STOP PLEASE."  CARMINE DOESN'T STOP.  LAVERNE TEARS THE CONGRATULATIONS SIGN DOWN, CROSSES TO CARMINE, WADS UP THE SIGN AND PRESSES IT INTO HIS HAND.  CARMINE STOPS SINGING.

In the episode, it's not until he's lightly embracing the girls on the couch that he realizes they didn't get the promotions.  He does sing, "Gray skies are gonna clear up," in both versions, but in the episode both girls elbow him in the stomach, while in the script it's just Shirley "punching" him in the stomach.  Then she says, "I'm sorry, Carmine.  I needed to hit someone."

CARMINE

I understand, Angelface.  What went wrong?  I thought your promotion was in the bag.

LAVERNE

Mr. Shotz put it in somebody else's bag.  He gave it two girls we trained just three weeks ago.

CARMINE

Look on the bright side.  You must be very good trainers.

SHIRLEY

There is no bright side.  There's only darkness and despair.

LENNY AND SQUIGGY ENTER.

In the episode, Carmine's reference to "the wolf at their door" is what prompts the boys' entrance.

In the script, it's Lenny who says that "dear, sweet Mr. Shotz" gave them a raise and promotion to semi-truck drivers, but this line is split up between the boys, with Squiggy still getting the line about doing "a semi-good job."

We lost this cute bit:

CARMINE

(TO THE BOYS) Thanks for stopping by, guys.  Close the door behind you.  

WITHOUT LEAVING LENNY AND SQUIGGY CLOSE THE DOOR BEHIND THEM AND ENTER THE LIVING ROOM.

LENNY

Hey champagne!  Guess you musta heard our good news!

CARMINE

That ain't for you.

SQUIGGY

(POURING CHAMPAGNE) Then you must be celebrating Laverne and Shirley's new record.  Most years at Shotz Brewery without a promotion.

In the episode, this became Lenny saying there are two things to celebrate, before it went into the part about the girls' record.

LENNY

Job well done!

LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY MAKE BOO-BOO FACES.

SQUIGGY

Up to now we thought we had it sewed up.  But you guys were just too tough.

LENNY

Bear in mind, you only hold the Brewery record, so don't rest on your laurels.  All you need to break the world's record is another 75 years of bottlecapping and...

In the episode, the boys go for the champagne after talking about the girls' record, and then Lenny says it would take another 41 years on the line to break "the Nationals."  As Carmine kicks them out, Squiggy can just be heard talking about "Emil Haufnagger, who did it in '19."  (I assume Prohibition cut his time short.)  Carmine escorts the boys out, but we actually get more in the script:

CARMINE

Get out.  Get out.  Get out.

CARMINE STARTS TO PUSH THE BOYS OUT THE DOOR.

SQUIGGY

(INDICATING LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY) They say it much better.

LENNY

You see, the emphasis in on the word "out."

CARMINE

Get out.  Get out.  Get out.

SQUIGGY

We'll leave, but only because you tried.  Not because you did it right.

LENNY AND SQUIGGY EXIT.

Even though Carmine isn't mentioned as exiting, he doesn't seem to be present for the remaining two pages of the scene.

LAVERNE

I don't think I can ever show my face at the Brewery again.

SHIRLEY

Five years down the drain.  Our entire adult lives wasted.  Shotz is a dead-end.  No place to go but down.

As on the episode, Laverne is the one to suggest quitting, which causes Shirley to "go into a state of catatonia."  Shirley dropping BBK, and Laverne carrying her to the couch were added, but the lines telling her to snap out of it or she'll spend her life in a tub of warm water were in the original.  In both, Laverne says there are other jobs out there and they could become nuns.  In the episode, she adds, "Well, you could," but in the script she's acting "as if Shirley is answering," so she asks, "How do you know they wouldn't let me in?"  (Oh, the irony of "Monastery Story" three seasons later!)  

In the script, she also suggests running a lemonade stand, although "You're right, the winter months would kill us."  In the episode, she suggests becoming beauticians, manicurists, telephone operators, welders, or cowboys.  Then she says she's pacing around like she's in the Army, which inspires Shirley.  In the script, Laverne goes straight from the lemonade stand to "Well, there's always the Army."

Shirley likes the idea and goes into the little speech about promotions and their faces on a stamp.  Laverne's line about people licking the backs of their heads, and the part about meeting foreigners, were added.

In exchange, we lost a Horny-Virgin-Laverne moment:

LAVERNE

Would we get to meet Marines?

SHIRLEY

Entire platoons.

LAVERNE

Entire platoons.  How many in a platoon?

SHIRLEY

I don't know.  Enough to attack.

The girls drinking a toast to the Army is in both versions.

While this scene is more intact than Scene A, there are definitely some changes.  The girls are less upset, catatonia aside, in the episode than the script, since they don't make boo-boo faces and don't seem as angry at Carmine.  And their loss of the promotion is more unfair in the script, since the new girls don't seem to have any special qualifications or education.  

The boys' material is cut back, although they definitely make their presence felt in the filmed scene.