"Laverne & Shirley": The Collector's Edition, Volume Four

"Laverne in Love" sounds like a natural for a theme for a volume, and not just for alliteration:  "Like the letter 'L' embroidered on all her shirts, Laverne DeFazio wears her heart on her sleeve.  While street-smart Laverne seems like a brassy loudmouth on the outside, she is actually an insecure sweetheart on the inside.  While she yearns to 'vo-dee-oh-doh-doh,' virginal Laverne laments over having never 'done the dirty deed.'  Penny Marshall (Laverne), sister of co-creator Garry Marshall, had played Oscar Madison's secretary Myrna Turner on The Odd Couple and was married to Rob Reiner, who played Mike 'Meathead' Stivic on All in the Family."

The first selection is Season Two's "Angels of Mercy": "When Laverne decides to join Shirley as a volunteer nurse at a hospital (to be close to her latest heartthrob, Jerry Callihan, who checks in for an operation), Shirley gets several patients' false teeth mixed up while Laverne changes the sheets on the bed of an overweight patient.  Note: Charles Frank (Jerry Callihan) starred as Stanley Beck on Filthy Rich, Senator Ryder on Hill Streets Blues, Lester Chisholm on The Chisholms, and Ben Maverick on Young Maverick."  The Stay Tuned is Laverne's "Shirl and I will be back in a minute, so don't go away."

This choice is a bit odd since Laverne is simply, as Lenny puts it, "sweet on" Jerry, and we never actually see them go on a date.  But the next selection is beyond odd.

Season Four's "The Bully Show" is described thusly: "When Shirley is out of town attending her brother's graduation from Heavy Equipment School, Lenny and Squiggy are coerced into setting Laverne up on a blind date with their new foreman, Biff ("The Milwaukee Man of the Year"), who turns out to be a wolf on the prowl.  Note: In this episode discover what Woo Foo Young [sic] does to Shirley's plush cat, Boo Boo Kitty."  Right, because that's the real danger in the episode!

Well, at least I finally found a music edit, as we lose Laverne singing a couple lines of Fred Astaire's "Lovely to Look At" as she enters in her rented gown, and disturbingly Biff sings a line of it while he's waiting for Laverne to reenter the room naked.  And maybe because the boys are featured so heavily on this episode, they do the "or else" Stay Tuned.

Season Seven's "Friendly Persuasion" gets this blurb: "Laverne and Shirley move to Southern California in the sixth season of the series and go to work as gift-wrappers at Bardwell's Department Store.  When Charles Grodin tries to convince Laverne and Shirley's boss, Mr. Pennington, to be nice to them, Laverne mistakes his kindness for romantic interest.  Note: Charles Grodin starred in The Heartbreak Kid, Beethoven, Heaven Can Wait, The Couch Trip, The Lonely Guy, Movers and Shakers, and hosts a talk show on CNBC."  No mention of the fact that he wasn't exactly a household name at the time this episode is set.  And, yeah, again Laverne is not in love, just infatuated, and arguably less than she was with Jerry C.  There is no Stay Tuned this time, so you might think they were phased out during the California years, but that will prove not to be the case.

Because we then have Season Eight's "The Fashion Show," described as "In the last season, Cindy Williams, who was pregnant, left the series after a contract dispute, and Penny Marshall starred alone.  While spying on her new boyfriend, a photographer, at a fashion show, Laverne poses as a model wearing a huge replica of the Liberty Bell on her head.  Note: Anjelica Huston (Miss Paris) starred in Prizzi's Honor, The Addams Family, Crimes and Misdemeanors, and The Postman Always Rings Twice.  Joanna Kerns (Monique) starred as Maggie Seaver on Growing Pains.  Note the painting of Boo Boo Kitty on the wall in Laverne's apartment."

To my surprise, there is a Stay Tuned, Laverne's "Don't go away, we'll be right back.  Really," which seems to capture the insecurity of this episode and of Season Eight.  And then, this will break your heart, another thing was left out of the DVD version, right after the tag:

Because of course, Penny Marshall had been in love with Breeding, who died tragically.  If I had been at Columbia and had put this tape together, I might've kept this episode, since, although it's not a strong one, it is about one of Laverne's relationships.  I'd have dumped the rest and added "Why Did the Fireman...?", and maybe one each for Sonny and Norman.  Showing Laverne infatuated— and fighting off a date-rapist!— is not the best way to portray her "in love."