"Laverne & Shirley XXX: A Dreamzone Parody"

...And I'm back!  Since this is the second time I've watched this porn parody (or "sitcum" as some call it), I won't "review" it as such.  I'm just going to take notes as I go along, and I don't think I'll grade it.  I'll mostly be commenting on how it is as a parody, how faithful (or not) it is to canon.  And, yes, that includes "Laverne's" accent.  And, no, there will be no screencaps.  (I'm trying to keep this R-rated at most.)  Here goes....

00:36 to 01:58*, a reasonably faithful tribute to the theme song, both lyrics and images, until we get to previews of the sex scenes.

Approximately 02:18, after Shirley walks in on Laverne masturbating, she objects that this was in front of Boo Boo Kitty, who is a stuffed cat, but black & white rather than black.  The apartment, by the way, is vaguely like the girls' apartment, but more generic.  Oh, and there's a laughtrack.  (Common in this sub-genre.)

02:32, wait, both girls sort of have accents, like in the first season.  Oh, and Laverne bought a bunch of L's at the Letter Barn.

02:46, right after Shirley says they're desperate, we get a delayed "hello" entrance from Lenny & Squiggy.

02:54, the boys' costumes are reasonably canonical, although the lettering is the wrong style for "LONE WOLF" (no Lavernian L for one thing).

03:05, after making leering comments, the boys flick their tongues.  (What, is the hand-bite copyrighted?)

03:50, the boys make a very lengthy exit because they, according to Squiggy, disgust Shirley, although Lenny says they have feelings, too.

04:10, the girls are having trouble paying the rent (very canonical), so Shirley suggests Laverne have her father pay it, but Laverne thinks Shirley should have Carmine pay it.  Shirley objects that since she's having sex with Carmine (not canonical!), she would feel like "a whore."

04:24, Laverne storms out after the girls argue.  Shirley, who's been holding BBK all this time, pets him.

04:53, at the Pizza Bowl (which looks like a coffee bar where they serve pizza), Laverne's "Pops" promises to try to get the girls an extension on the rent from his girlfriend, their "landlord."

05:15, Carmine tap-dances to cheer Shirley up at his cinder-block bachelor pad.

05:33, the always reliable Anthony Rosano as Carmine does a bit of an accent (and wears a ridiculous wig) as Carmine when he talks to "Shirl."  Riley Reid, by the way, is dressed very early-season Shirley, with short black hair.  (We'll get back to Laverne's costume later.)

05:38, Carmine refers to himself as the Big Ragoo, which definitely takes on another meaning here.

05:53, Carmine and Shirley are sweet together for about a minute and then start making out.  No cold showers here.

Approximately 08:25, Shirley says, "Oh my gosh," while Carmine is, ahem, cheering her up, a nice touch keeping her language clean (for the moment).

Carmine and Laverne incidentally both have very un-'50s tattoos.

09:57, Shirley keeps her scarf on while pleasuring Carmine.  I'm not sure if this is in character. 

10:47, this Shirley doesn't stuff her bra, but Carmine is happy with her figure.

11:24, she giggles as she calls him, inevitably, the Big Ragoo.  And she's got un-50s tats also.

13:00, I doubt Carmine would ever call Shirley "so f***ing dirty," but shrug, it's porn.

Approximately 14:15, Shirley says, "Oh my goodness!"

Less than thirty seconds later, she's talking dirty, but they are really going at it.

17:39, by the way, I see Shirmine as more into the missionary position, but OK.

18:29, well, this Shirley indeed has dimples in her (face) cheeks.

19:16, it is a nice touch that this Shirley and Carmine are the right physical types.  Also, I like that they're somewhat affectionate with each other, kissing mouths now and then, and making eye contact when they can.

Approximately 21:00, they've both dropped their accents by the way.

24:11, she says she's not usually such a dirty girl.

25:22, there's a lot of him giving her directions, although she doesn't always follow them.

26:15, it's important for a couple to be able to laugh together.

Around 28:26, he calls her Shirl again.

31:02, he finally takes his shirt off.  (His costume is pretty generic, no "Big Ragoo" jacket by the way.)  Her scarf is still hanging in there, though it probably got in the way at some points.

33:18, they end the scene with affectionate laughter.  Since I think this is his only appearance in the movie, I'll say that Anthony Rosano did a decent job with what is arguably the least defined (uh, I mean, no, developed, whatever) regular character.  It's not one of his best acting jobs (I like his Tony Micelli and Barney Rubble in particular), but it, well, got the job done.

33:19, the helpful label of "Laverne Gets F***ed by Lenny and Squiggy," the only threesome in the movie, although it will be a V rather than a three-sided triangle.

33:27, Laverne is back in her echoing apartment.  (It's like the Pizza Bowl got the main set budget.)  By the way, Chanel Preston is wearing a much more revealing "regular" costume than Reid was, but admittedly not more revealing than some of Penny M's on the show.

33:30, the boys enter the front door again because they heard Laverne screaming.

33:38, Tommy Pistol does a pretty good Squiggy delivery on "We were hoping you were coming."

33:55, after Squiggy says Shirley is uptight (I guess he doesn't know what's happening in CinderBlockLand), Lenny says Laverne is fun-loving.  Squiggy agrees.

34:15, as Lenny lightly strokes Laverne's hair and she bats him away, Squiggy suggests the three of them have some fun while her "tight-ass roommate" is gone.

34:19, looking kind of bored, Laverne says, "Why not?"

34:28, both boys bite their fists as she starts to unbutton her low-cut blouse.  From Chanel's pose afterwards, this Laverne is canonically proud of her chest.

34:45, the boys make inarticulate noises and she taunts them about whether they've seen a pair of tits before.  And the makeout+ begins.

34:54, Lenny kisses her neck, which is pretty Leonard-Feathery of him.

35:05, I guess the boys tumbling Laverne over the couch is sort of slapstick?  And then they strip off their jackets.  Kudos to the costumer for giving Tommy a black shirt and Seth Gamble (Lenny) a white shirt.

35:33, Laverne seems too tall, Lenny too short.  Squiggy's height is fine.

36:13, the sound isn't great (and for some reason we have an instrumental version of the theme), but Laverne refers to a part of Squiggy's anatomy by using his name.

37:52, would Laverne wear that much eye shadow?

38:22, Squiggy seems a lot more aggressive than Lenny, which is in character.

38:40, Squiggy has yet another non-'50s tat.  (I haven't noticed any piercings except Shirley's ears.)

Approximately 39:00, I think Squiggy said he'd give Lenny the honors of going first, which would be pretty generous of canonical Squiggy.

39:26, that look on Lenny's face is not too far off from Michael McK's just-kissed-by-Laverne face, although I don't know if that's deliberate.

42:02, and the Lavenny shippers can take note that Laverne specifically requests something from Lenny while on top of Squiggy.

43:11, Lenny is shyer and/or gentler than Squiggy.

45:52, Lenny's eyes rolling back in his head is a nice McKeanian touch.

46:12, Lenny is overall reacting more than Squiggy (very canonical).

48:17, Squiggy is still wearing his sweat socks by the way.

49:42, Preston's Laverne accent is shaky, but that was a nice New-Yorky "Ohmigawd!" there.  And then another, maybe the director said something.

54:00, despite some spanking earlier, Lenny is almost tender with Laverne at some moments, the way he touches her back for instance.

54:42, there goes Lenny's white shirt.  (A helpful visual cue, with the boys' faces not in every shot.)

54:53, Gamble has that "luckiest man in the world" look that Lenny should have right now.

57:42, Laverne is more playful finishing off Lenny than Squiggy.

Gamble and Pistol stayed in character, both before and during the sex scene.  How much of this is due to the actors' styles, and how much they (or the director) were aware that Squiggy is the "leader" I don't know.  My shipper's bias made me feel like Laverne was a little more into Lenny than Squiggy, and he was definitely (ahem) into her.  Squiggy looked more like he was out for fun, which he got.

57:57, back at the Pizza Bowl, Raylene as Mrs. Babish for some reason does have an East Coast accent.  I forwarded through this whole scene last time I think (not an Evan Stone fan), so this is a bit of a shock.  He does not sound a bit like Phil Foster.

58:07, let us give thanks that the hair & make-up person(s) didn't give Frank a mustache.

58:30, Frank tells Edna to "give her Italian meatball some sugar."

59:03, "You guys get out!  We're closed!"  LOL, I would love it if we saw a reaction shot of customers.

59:44, I don't know if I can stand twenty minutes of Evan Stone comparing his anatomy to food.

1:00:00, they don't seem to have made any attempt to make Raylene look like Betty Garrett. At least they gave Stone an apron.

1:02:26, Edna has, yes, non-'50s tats.

1:03:18, a '50s jukebox, probably handed down from the Happy Days parody.

1:04:30, Mrs. Babish has probably forgotten all about the rent by now.

1:06:00, I hope the Health Department doesn't decide to make a surprise inspection.

1:07:00, I confess I'm visiting other tabs while letting the audio play, just checking back in now and then.

Approximately 1:08:00, did he just say something about Italian people?

1:10:00, checking the weather report.

1:11:00, it's not even that it's Fredna, it's that it's Evan Stone and some actress I don't know, playing characters that they don't know much about.

1:12:00, I wonder if "sheltering in place" has led to more online porn consumption.  Someone should do a study on this.

1:13:00, I know I should go to double speed, but I'm waiting to see if anything in character happens.  (I mean, don't you think Edna would be the one who would initiate it?)

1:15:00, looking at a Conners discussion board, and I'm a lot less into The Conners this season than last.  (I mean, they shaved Ben!  When will the character assassination end?)

1:15:25 approximately, more anatomy = food, which is fine when it's done well, but enough!

1:16:00, I wonder if there are any coronavirus updates.

1:18:00, and what's up with primaries being postponed?

1:19:00, Tulsi Gabbard finally dropped out, three days ago, but I hadn't noticed.  A good time to catch up.

1:20:00, Raylene is getting more verbal, hopefully they'll be done soon.

1:23:40, over finally!  Raylene is the worst cast or at least the one given least to do in terms of character, when Edna is one of the most complex characters on the show.  (Would it have killed them to have given her a line like "You're better than my five husbands"?)  Evan Stone seems to have been told his character is Laverne's father who runs a pizza restaurant.  If this couple had to be included, why not the equivalent of Edna coaxing Frank to dance?  This scene was just filler, so to speak.

1:23:43, Laverne is holding BBK when Shirley returns.  (Symbolism?)

1:23:55, "Mrs. Babische"?!  Is she Italian, French?

1:24:07, "Oh, you see, Laverne, there is a lesson here today."  I'd die if they did the lesson-learned music.

1:24:29, and now the Laverne & Shirley scene, as a reaffirmation of their friendship.  Or something.

1:25:19, the girls are more careful taking each other's clothes off than the guys were undressing them, a nice touch.  They also kiss on the mouth more.

1:27, Shirley scolds Laverne for her "dirty mouth," but as I recall, Shirley's language gets pretty dirty in this scene.  ("Laverne, you have a mouth like a sewer," as Shirley says in their introduction.)

It seems out of character that Laverne doesn't say much during her sex scenes.

1:30:42, another "Ohmigawd!"  Or two.  Or three.

1:36:05, um, Shirley, I really don't think Laverne is a "dirty little secret whore."  Not so secret now that she's been with Lenny & Squiggy.

1:39:00, Laverne seems a lot happier than she was with Lenny and Squiggy by the way.

1:41:00, I just realized there's no mention of the girls working in a brewery, not even in the opening credits.

1:42:00, Laverne is still wearing her L-embroidered blouse, although unbuttoned.  Shirley's still got the scarf.

1:45:00, in this movie, it's Shirley rather than Lenny who has a "pleasure center" on the foot.

1:48:00, Shirley is definitely the more dominant one, which may or may not be in character.

1:50:30, a very short tag scene and then a reprise of the theme song.

Well, this isn't the weakest porn parody I've seen, and it got the general gist of Laverne & Shirley, and of Laverne and Shirley, but it certainly could've been better, theme song aside.  I don't know if immersing myself in canon the last several months made me get more out of this, but it does make me appreciate the canonical cast more.


*Time marks are as accurate as I can get without spending too much time on this.