"The Road to Burbank," Scenes J and K

We return to the "girls' apartment - later."  The very beginning was left out:

EVERYONE IS WHERE WE LEFT THEM DRINKING COFFEE.  EDNA IS POURING SOME.

SHIRLEY

Your noses are going to stretch from here back to Nevada.  Right, Laverne?

LAVERNE

(NASAL VOICE) I don't know.  My nose is gone.

Squiggy's line to Carmine, "You seen Shirley in her bunny-like baby suit" became "You've seen Shirley prance around in her bunny-like bathing suit."  Him calling Sonny "a rugged, strong, virus man" became Lenny calling Sonny "a strong, rugged, virgile man."  After Sonny says he'd never chase Laverne around with a plunger on his head, Squiggy commented, "What a cheese-puff," and Lenny (in a spin on the "He's never said 'poof' before" line, which did make it in), observed, "He's never said cheese-puff before."  Onscreen, the boys say Sonny should see a doctor for his "problem."

In the script, Frank calls the boys "bums," which became "guys" for filming.  Lenny's "honest Indian" was the more traditional slur of "honest Injun."

The filmed episode ends as Scene J ends, with Lenny's soft apology to Laverne and yelling apology to Shirley.  But there was an unaired tag.  (Yay?)

It's the same setting, "minutes later":

FRANK IS STANDING BESIDE THE STEPS TALKING TO LAVERNE.

LAVERNE

Thanks for all your help, Pop.

FRANK

You're welcome.  But next time you spend a night in a motel room with a man you better be married.

LAVERNE

What if he says he loves me?

FRANK

You better be married.

EDNA

Come on, Frank.  The "Man From U.N.C.L.E." is on.

LAVERNE

(STARTING DOWN THE STAIRS) Oooo, I can't wait to see what country T.H.R.U.S.H. blows up this week.

AS LAVERNE ENTERS THE LIVING ROOM, EVERYONE JUMPS UP, COVERS THEIR MOUTHS, AND RUNS OUT THE KITCHEN DOOR.  LAVERNE CROSSES TO THE COUCH AND SITS.

LAVERNE

Must be a rerun.

Thoughts:

• If a long nose = dishonesty, then Laverne no longer having a nose must make her the most honest person in the room.
• The changes in the boys' dialogue are slight improvements, although Scene J is pretty unsalvageable.  (No hard feelings, really, Frank?  And shut up, Rhonda!  Edna is still the best person in almost any room though.)
• Seriously, Frank, you're going to blame Laverne for going to a motel when she's unmarried?
• In a shocking example of a nonanachronistic reference on the show, The Man from U.N.C.L.E. TV show aired from 1964 to '68.
• I'm admittedly writing this during a pandemic (still!), but if they're worried about catching Laverne's cold, they've probably already been exposed to it, at least via Shirley that day.
• And if they must all run out simultaneously, is there a reason why no one uses the front door, the tunnel, or the balcony?
• While these two scenes are not great, overall I find this script better than what aired.  And at that, I'd probably revise my original B- to a C+ or lower.  I continue to find an empowering message in "The Bully Show" despite my issues with it, but this episode is just a mess, in terms of morals, characterization, and chronology.  A fascinating mess though.  And I'm still curious what earlier drafts looked like.