"The Fire Show," Scene D

We remain at the girls' apartment as Act Two opens, but now it's "night":

THE TV SET, A GLASS OF MILK AND THE REST OF SHIRLEY'S FIREMEN COOKIES ARE ON THE COFFEE TABLE.  LAVERNE IS TALKING ON THE PHONE.

LAVERNE

Hello, fire department?  Is Ted Nelson there?  Why would he go home?  We had a date.  He wouldn't forget me.  He blew in my mouth.  I think that's him now.  (BANGS PHONE ON TOP OF BOOKCASE)  See, smartie pants, he's beating down my door right now.  So there! (HANGS UP; CROSSES TO COUCH)  I wish.  Well, I still got "Sea Hunt."

Most of that was replaced by Laverne wondering in a voiceover why she got stood up, considering she blew in Ted's ear.  Then she says, "At least I got Sea Hunt."

This was dropped:

LAVERNE

Why don't you watch the spectacular in your place?

SQUIGGY

We can't see through the fumes.

LENNY

Yeah.  Our insects, bless their hearts, refuse to die.

SQUIGGY

They're fighters.

Carmine calling the boys "animals" was added.  Lenny's line "Kissy-face, pressy-bod" replaced "Kissy-face, huggy-poo."

Almost a whole page was omitted at the end of the scene:

LAVERNE

Now, remember, stay out of the refrigerator, don't look through our drawers... and if you use the bathroom, put the seat back down.  Goodnight.

SQUIGGY

Rules, rules, rules.

LAVERNE AND CARMINE EXIT.  THE BOYS ARE SHOCKED.  THEY STARE BACK TOWARD THE COUCH.

LENNY

That scarlet woman.  Running off with Carmine like that.

SQUIGGY

Shameful.  Some people have no respect for the others.

LENNY

Yeah, some people don't care how much they hurt other people's feelings.

SQUIGGY

We'll flip to see who gets to tell Shirley.

Thoughts:

• I want the firemen cookies to be shaped and decorated like Dalmatians.
• I'm glad they didn't show us Laverne calling the fire department about Ted, because that feels too desperate.
• Laverne might've blown in both Ted's mouth and ear.  I didn't watch that closely.
• It feels in character for the boys to be rooting for their plague of locusts.
• Laverne laying down the rules for the boys in her absence foreshadows "Duke of Squigman" the next season, although they couldn't have known that then.
• I'm used to Squiggy being that judgy, but "scarlet woman" feels harsh for Lenny to say of Laverne.  He might be jealous, but still.
• And of course the boys are hypocrites, who can't wait to rat Laverne and Carmine out to Shirley.