"Guinea Pigs," Scenes 12 and 13

At last we're at the "St. Andrew Room - St. Clair Hotel - Night."  And here's the deleted opening dialogue:

LAVERNE

I'm not gonna make it, Shirl.  I'm not gonna make it.

SHIRLEY

We made it.  We'll be all right.  As soon as we get some food we'll be all right.

A MAN PASSES BY AND SHIRLEY SMILES SWEETLY.  A WAITER WITH A FOOD TRAY PASSES BY.  SHIRLEY MAKES A REACH FOR IT BUT MISSES. 

The "handsome young man" named Charles Warner appeared then but got moved to later in the filmed scene.  The dialogue made it in, except that in the script he asks, "You look like a nurse.  Are you a nurse?", while onscreen he asks Laverne if she comes there often.

Onscreen, Shirley can't even get at the food because of the crowd around the table, but here's what happens in the script:

SHIRLEY IS NOW AT THE TABLE PILING FOOD FURIOUSLY ON A PLATE WHILE WOLFING ONE OR TWO TIDBITS DOWN.  A FORMIDABLE WOMAN CROSSES TO ALSO GET A PLATE AND LOOKS AT HER CONDESCENDINGLY.

SHIRLEY

(TRYING TO COVER) Superb truffles.

Shirley trying to keep Laverne from sliding down the wall came here, rather than earlier as it does onscreen.  They left out Laverne saying, while asleep, "I don't keep goats."  Also, in the script Shirley uses Laverne's cummerbund to tie Laverne's hands behind her back to the chair.

Laverne's somersault and Shirley's bunny hop carry were not in the script.  This dialogue was dropped:

SHIRLEY

(THROUGH CLENCHED TEETH, BUT SMILING AT THE WORLD) Laverne!  People are staring.

LAVERNE

I'm not gonna make it, Shirl.  Why don't you go to the party?

SHIRLEY

Laverne, we're at the party.

LAVERNE

Are we having a good time?

In the script, the security guard doesn't come over until Laverne falls into the liver swan, while it happens fairly early in the filmed version.

Here's the omitted dialogue:

MAN

This is a private function.  I want the two of you to leave.

SHIRLEY

(HOLDING LAVERNE UP) Why is there some law some law [sic] against eating liver?

MAN

There might be one against sleeping in it.  What are you two on?

HE STARTS TO TAKE THEM OUT.

SHIRLEY

How dare you!  Take your hands off us!  Laverne, wake up!  (TO MAN) We paid $20.00 to come into this two bit joint and we're getting our money's worth.

SHE GRABS FOR FOOD AS HE PULLS HER.  LAVERNE IS STARTING TO WAKE UP AS HE GRABS HER ARM TOO.

LAVERNE

Hey!  Who ya' grabbin' here?

MAN

Let's go!  You can sleep it off in the street.

HE STARTS DRAGGING OFF AND LAVERNE TAKES A SWING.

Onscreen, the scene ends with Laverne's face in the liver swan.  In the tag, the security guard, Myron, turns out to be a "sweetheart," understanding the girls' situation.  Shirley leaves with enough snacks for a week and Laverne literally sleeps with Charles under the table.

The original tag goes like this:

INT. GIRLS' APARTMENT

WE ONLY SEE SHIRLEY WRITING IN HER DIARY.  LAVERNE IS DEAD ASLEEP ON COUCH.

SHIRLEY

I guess the party was fun?  Once Laverne started swinging.  And I knew it was a wise investment.

SHE CLOSES DIARY AND CROSSES TO KITCHEN COUNTER AND BEGINS MAKING SANDWICHES WITH THE HUGE MOUND OF LIVER FROM PARTY.

Thoughts:

• As with the rest of the script, this version definitely had room for improvement.
• I like that Shirley is more frustrated in the script about getting food, so that makes her final triumph, including winning over the security guard, more worthy.
• There's definitely more of a payoff with Charles onscreen, odd though it is.
• Also, Shirley seems more embarrassed by Laverne in the script (I didn't want to transcribe half a page of Shirley telling Laverne to wake up), while she's more protective of and affectionate towards her, in a motherly/sisterly way, onscreen.
• And Shirley is more ladylike onscreen, which adds to the humor.
• I need to note that Shirley's diary was an even bigger thing in the scripts than onscreen that season, in a lot of original tags.