"Dear Future Model," Scenes D, E, and F

Act Two opens in the "girls' apartment - evening."

Carmine refers to "our denoff Shirley Feeney," while she's "beautiful" and "incomparable" onscreen.  (Trust me, you might not want to Google "denoff.")  On the other hand, he calls her "Angel Face" in the script but not in the filmed episode.  Shirley crying in the "Boudoir Baby" outfit was someone's very weird addition.

Rosie saying Laverne should wear the black negligee to her (Laverne's) funeral was added, as was her later calling Laverne "Tarzan."

Carmine was supposed to "struggle to make out what's written on the card" for Shirley's "Thousand and One Nights" ensemble, "I'll meet you in my tent later."

This was dropped at the very end of the scene:

LUCILLE

(TO GUESTS) Do I hear any orders?

THE LADIES START SHOUTING OUT ORDERS FOR THE OUTFITS.

The next scene moves on to "William Henry Holmes Modeling Agency - day."  Shirley's plan for them to quit the brewery was not in the script, although I guess it's implied.

They skipped this:

SHIRLEY

How many people have thus applied thus far?

RECEPTIONIST

Not too many.

SHIRLEY

Excellent.  There'll be fewer people with hurt feelings.

They omitted this, after Shirley says they have an "in" at Lovely Lady Lingerie:

LENORE

No, I don't do underwear. (TO GIRLS) Do you do underwear?

LAVERNE

(PROUDLY) Sure.

SHIRLEY

Well, not all that often.

They changed Laverne's line, "Boy, I knew it.  Fifteen bucks, a ton of bananas, and a bald spot for Mr. Billy" to her saying she's going to write a letter to Mr. Billy.

The last page of the scene, and of Act Two, after Shirley asks why she didn't get chosen at this agency, was changed:

LAVERNE

'Cause you look bottlecapper great, not model great.  (BEAT) Did you know top bottlecappers earn a buck and a quarter an hour?

SHIRLEY SMILES

SHIRLEY

You look great too, Laverne.  We both look great.  Come on, let's go.  (SHE STARTS TO GET UP, STAGGERS)  Boy, I think I'm a little weak from all that dieting.

LAVERNE

(PULLING A DONUT OUT OF HER PURSE) Here, have a donut.

SHIRLEY

Where'd you get that?

LAVERNE

My purse.

STARTS OUT.

SHIRLEY

(FOLLOWING) You mean, while I've been starving myself on bananas, you've been sneaking donuts?

LAVERNE

This is my emergency donut.  Just so I don't faint in the street.  See it's shaped like a lifesaver.

THEY EXIT.

Onscreen, Laverne instead reminds Shirley of how attractive she's seen as at the brewery, and once Laverne's pep talk is through, Shirley drinks from the water cooler like Laverne did.

The tag is set in the "girls' apartment - later same day":

SHIRLEY IS IN HER ROBE ON THE COUCH.  SHE IS WRITING IN HER DIARY.

SHIRLEY (V.O.)

"Dear Diary.  Today Laverne and I found out that we didn't have what it takes to be models.  It was a shocking blow to our egos but I think we've kept our wits about us."

LAVERNE ENTERS FROM BEDROOM WEARING SAUNA SUIT.

LAVERNE

Hey, Shirl?

SHIRLEY TURNS AND SEES HER.

LAVERNE (CONT'D)

You think Mark Boynton would mind if I wore this thing on Halloween?

SHIRLEY

Don't you think you're a little too old for trick or treating?

LAVERNE

Yeah.  Maybe.  But I like it when they give out penny candy and apples.

LAVERNE CROSSES TO KITCHEN AND GETS AN APPLE.  SHIRLEY CONTINUES TO WRITE IN HER DIARY.

SHIRLEY (V.O.)

"Laverne has not kept her wits about her.  She has lost her wits.  And what's worse is, I wanted to wear the saunt [sic] suit on Halloween."

Onscreen, this turned into Shirley writing in her diary in bed, and then it turns out that the girls have kept the "Arabian" and "jungle" costumes, as well as the Tarzan swing.

Thoughts:

• Scene D is pretty faithful, so not much to say about that.
• Some of the omissions in Scene E are negligible, but I kind of like Laverne comforting Shirley by reminding her that they still have their identities as bottlecappers, and I definitely like Shirley returning the compliment about her looking great.
• And it figures that Laverne wants sweets, a donut from her purse now, and later Halloween candy.
• Since the sauna outfit belongs to Mrs. B onscreen, they couldn't use it for the tag, and the filmed tag has more punch anyway.
• Overall, this is a decent script that just needed some trimming and polishing.  I did give the final product a C+, but I don't know that there's anything from the script that I would've preferred.  Well, OK, more innuendo would've been fun, but I doubt the censors would've allowed some of the more risqué lines from the script.