THERE IS A DIFFERENT COLOR CARDBOARD BOX ON THE COUCH. IT'S OPEN. A BEAT, THEN THE FRONT DOOR OPENS, LAVERNE ENTERS WITH A BOOK ON HER HEAD, CARRYING A BAG OF LAUNDRY. LAVERNE CROSSES DOWN, SEES THE CARBOARD [sic] BOX.
LAVERNE
(TOWARD BEDROOM) Hey, what'd we get from Boynton this week?
SHIRLEY (O.S.)
Wait'll you see.
LAVERNE
Did Mr. Billy analyze my hair yet?
SHIRLEY
No, not yet.
LAVERNE
Why not? I sent him enough to make a rug.
That was dropped and we begin with a voiceover of Laverne asking, "What's goin' on in there?", and then we see Laverne sorting laundry.
In the script, the rubber sauna suit was sent along with "Chapter Five -- 'The Body Beautiful,' " but onscreen Shirley borrowed it from Mrs. Babish, which seems somewhat more plausible, if they're only paying $15 for this course.
After Shirley says that Laverne got to send in hair, this was omitted:
LAVERNE
(INDICATES BANDAGE) Yeah, all I got was a bald spot.
SHIRLEY
That was for Mr. Billy. It was all in the interest of science.
LAVERNE
I still think he's a phony.
SHIRLEY
Look, there's no problem. I'll wear this for half a day, and you can wear it for the other half.
LAVERNE
No. I'm not gonna wear it after you. It'll be all sweaty inside.
Instead, onscreen Laverne says she could use the suit more because she's "fatter." So Shirley calls her a brat again.
And they left out this as Shirley is wrapping up Laverne in Saran Wrap:
LAVERNE SEES A BOWL OF BANANAS WITH A CARD STUCK IN IT ON THE TABLE.
LAVERNE
What's this?
SHIRLEY
Oh, they sent us a new diet.
LAVERNE
(READS) "The Banana Diet... Breakfast two bananas and a glass of water -- Lunch, three bananas and a glass of water -- Dinner, four bananas, you've had enough water..." (PUTS DOWN CARD) Why do we have to go through all this?
SHIRLEY
Because we have to be ready. A week from now a modeling agency is supposed to welcome us with open arms.
Onscreen, Shirley only speaks of herself as applying to a modeling agency. In the script, Laverne says, "I can't let anybody see me like this," when someone knocks, but in the aired version the girls fight over who'll answer the door.
After Laverne exits to the bedroom to get out of the Saran Wrap, there was this:
SHIRLEY
We were just exercising.
CARMINE
(POINTS TO LAVERNE) Like that?
SHIRLEY
On the road to beauty, Carmine, there are many ugly turnoffs.
CARMINE
Oh yeah, the modeling course. That's kinda what I wanted to talk to you about.
SHIRLEY
Go ahead, Carmine.
In the script, Lucille says of Shirley's outfit, "Oh, I've got that in tan," while onscreen it's "I love the way you dress."
Between Carmine explaining how Lovely Lady Lingerie allows Lucille to get him whatever he wants and Shirley saying, "I don't want to hear this," there was a bit more dialogue:
SHIRLEY
Sounds like fun.
LUCILLE
Oh, we have a ball.
CARMINE
Alimony's nice, but it doesn't keep her busy.
In the script, Carmine earlier mentions groceries, so when he and Lucille leave, he tells her, "Come on, you're letting the ice cream melt," and then a bit later, he delivers the suggestive exit line, "Lucille, did you get Saran Wrap?"
Almost the whole last page got chopped after Shirley says it's their first modeling job/assignment:
LAVERNE
Do you think we're ready to model?
SHIRLEY
We've read the whole book, cover to cover -- even the part where he thanks Mrs. Billy.
LAVERNE
I would like Rosie to see me in some nice clothes.
SHIRLEY
And if we do well at this we'll know we're ready for a modeling agency. C'mon let's go re-read the book.
LAVERNE
Yeah, I wanna read that Chapter 12 again. "Your Thumbs Are Your Friends."
And so ends the scene and act.
Thoughts:
- Some of the dropped dialogue is basically filler, but I kind of like the Banana Diet. (And we later see Laverne eating bananas in the scene, without explanation.)
- The script reminds us that Lucille is divorced.
- Lucille and Carmine with Saran Wrap, ha!
- And Laverne and her friendly thumbs.
- Also, is the "Mrs. Billy" joke there because it's a silly name or so we won't think Mr. Billy is gay?
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