"BOSOM BUDDIES": "Cablevision"

So you know that trope where the regulars put on a show and someone promises a big celebrity who may or may not show up?  Happy Days did it at least twice.  And once the short-lived but beloved (by me) early '80s sitcom Bosom Buddies did it with Penny Marshall.  Journey with me now back to Friday, January 22, 1982, when Tom Hanks was not yet FAMOUS himself.

In the opening scene, Kip (Hanks), Henry (Peter Scolari), and Amy (Wendie Jo Sperber) are talking to their client, Mr. Silverman of Silverman's Rat Control.  He is obviously named after three-network TV honcho Fred Silverman.  They tell him that they'll put on a cable TV show that he can sponsor.  (I don't remember cable having sponsors, but this is just the first of many plot holes on one of the weaker episodes of the series.)

Their mentor Ruth (the ageless Holland Taylor) offscreen promises them Penny Marshall, who still hasn't shown up when the cable show is about to go live.  Ruth tells Kip to calm down, since "the woman has to come all the way from the '60s."  (L&S was then in the midst of its Season Seven.)

Amy wants to do a "Latin number" but Kip says there's no time for that.  Every segment of the show is "___ Corner" and Penny is supposed to show up for Celebrity Corner.

Kip's intro runs in part, "Now you know her as Laverne, of the hit TV show Laverne and Shirley.  Now, she's been dying to do the show really, ever since, uh, we made it up four days ago."  But there is no sign of "Penny 'Laverne' Marshall."  Kip irritably says, "I bet if we had Shirley she'd be here on time."  Henry holds up one cent to indicate that they have "no Penny."

Even though the whole point of this show-within-a-show was to get Mr. Silverman to sponsor it, there are no commercials, but then again it's cable.  (If I sound confused, well, so does writer Jeff Franklin.)  The show staggers on, with Isabelle (played by Telma Hopkins, of Tony Orlando & Dawn) of course being the highlight with her rendition of "Just Once."  But Mr. Silverman wants Penny Marshall.

"Thanks to Penny Marshall not showing up, we have about five minutes to kill," Kip announces.  So Amy goes into her "Latin number."  It's from the 1966 off-Broadway revue The Mad Show and is called "The Boy from Tacarembo La Tumbe Del Fuego Santa Malipas Zatatecas La Junta Del Sol Y Cruz."

Afterwards, there's knocking at the back door, so Kip goes to investigate.

Kip tells Penny she looks great and has a beautiful tan.  Henry carries her over to a chair and sets her down roughly.

Kip asks her a question and then realizes he has to remove her gag.

She asks why "that little girl," meaning Amy, tied her up.  Kip says Amy is an escaped mental patient.

Penny patiently asks Kip to be nice, since she's doing a favor to Ruth.  She's here in New York since she has a week off from her show.  She does admit that "doing a situation comedy can be murderous, even if you are part of a team."  Then she says that Kip wouldn't know anything about that.  (The irony is that Hanks, Scolari, and the entire cast seem to have bonded for life and I've never heard of any quarrels in the past forty years.)

Penny quietly tells him she has rope burns and she has to go to the bathroom.

She asks him to untie her but he tells "Pen" they don't have time for that.

He laughs and says she's funny all by herself, more irony in light of what was coming in Season Eight.  He asks how much money she makes and she says he must be new at this.  He says they've run out of time.

Henry says they still have time to do that little tribute they planned for Miss Marshall.

They leave her behind, still gnawing at her bonds, as they go out for pizza.

Penny was obviously a good sport, and she and Tom hit it off enough that she boosted his film career over the next few years.  This episode remains as a time capsule.