"It's in the Water," Scene B

We go to the Beer Tasting Room, "later that morning - day."  (Just in case you thought it was later that morning at night.)

This is the description of the sexual harasser:  

WOLFGANG GESSLER, FORTYISH AND BOW-TIED, PROJECTS HIS POMPOUS PRESENCE INTO THE ROOM.  GESSLER, PRIM AND PROPERLY SOUR, POSITIONS HIMSELF AT THE TABLE'S HEAD.

This was mostly left out:

GESSLER

Tilt the glass to the bottle and run the beer gently down the side.  Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, Shotz is but a dream.  Now I want you all to be on the lookout for skunky flavor.

SHIRLEY

Did you say skunky?  I don't understand...

GESSLER

Yes, skunky.  As if to smell or taste like a skunk.  Now, if you will, please observe as I demonstrate the correct procedure.

ALL WATCH AS GESSLER RUNS THROUGH THE STEPS.

GESSLER (CONT'D)

First, sip.  Then, swirl delicately.  Suck air to enhance the flavor.  Then swallow slowly.  The four of S's of beer tasting.

SHIRLEY

Right!!!

LAVERNE JABS SHIRLEY.

GESSLER

Let's see you try it.

ONE BY ONE, UNDER THE SCRUTIZINGING STARE OF GESSLER, THEY PROCEED TO SAMPLE THEIR BREWS.  LAVERNE TAKES A NORMAL MOUTHFUL AND, WITHOUT PRELIMINARIES, SWALLOWS.

Most of the last page was omitted:

LAVERNE

Don't hold this against her.  She's really a great beer drinker.  If she'd just had her farina this morning, it would have stuck to her ribs and soaked up all this stuff.

GESSLER

Stuff?

LAVERNE

Beer... nice beer.

GESSLER

Let's go on with the testing.  Foam is money.

LAVERNE

Can I take the test for both of us?

SHE STARTS GRABBING ALL THE BOTTLES.

LAVERNE (CONT'D)

(DRINKING AND JOTTING) Very good.  Very good.

SHE DRINKS FROM SHIRLEY'S BOTTLE AND JOTS.

LAVERNE (CONT'D)

Skunky.

Thoughts:

• That's a vivid description of Gessler, although the accent is unmentioned.
• Yes, this version included an adaptation of "Row Row Row Your Boat."
• They're back to writing dim!Shirley again.  I think she'd know what "skunky" means after three to five years at Shotz.
• It's sort of sweet that this Laverne wants to take the test for her best friend.
• So far, this script is pretty forgettable.