"A Nun's Story," Scene 1

On January 18, 1976, just three days after the Shooting Script for "Razzberries" rolled out, the Pre-Production Draft for "A Nun's Story" was on the assembly line.  I own a reprint and will of course talk about the content in itself, including a quirk in the way the scenes appear, but I do want to share some handwritten notes that it picked up somewhere along the way.  Exhibit A (apologies for blurriness):

It took me awhile to puzzle that out but I believe that that is "Art Silver," as in Arthur Silver, who wrote some episodes for Season One and later, but not, as far as I know, this one.  Also, Producer Mark Rothman's name is circled.  Did Rothman ask Silver to look this over, either to punch it up or to learn how to write for the show?  And who wrote that name?

Unlike every other LAS script I've looked at so far, there is no page with the cast and sets listed.  After the cover page, we launch right into Act One, except that it doesn't say "Scene A."  So we go to the Brewery Break Room, during "Day":

WORKERS ARE COMING IN FOR THEIR BREAK.  SHIRLEY AND LAVERNE ENTER AND WE FOLLOW AS THEY CROSS THE ROOM.  SHIRLEY IS CARRYING A PAPER BAG.

SHIRLEY

I talked Buzz Reynaldo into making the banner for the reunion.  He works at the deli so he can get a lot of butcher paper.

LAVERNE

Sounds impressive.  I can see it now.  (SEEING IT NOW) "Welcome back Class of '54"...written in chicken fat.

SHIRLEY

It'll be nice.  You wait and see.

SHIRLEY DUMPS OUT THE CONTENTS OF A PAPER BAG.  PAPER CARNATIONS MADE OUT OF KLEENEX AND BOBBY PINS AND A LARGE BOX OF KLEENEX.

SHIRLEY (CONT'D)

I'm telling you, Laverne, this year's class reunion is gonna be even better than last year's.  C'mon, let's get to work.

SHIRLEY TAKES SEVERAL OF THE TISSUES AND STARTS MAKING A PAPER CARNATION WITH DILIGENCE.

When the scene opens onscreen, Shirley is already making the carnations but out of toilet paper, and Laverne comes in complaining that someone took all the toilet paper.  

Laverne saying that Shirley works hard organizing these reunions and Shirley saying she does her best was just rephrased a little, but then this definitely got modified:

LAVERNE

Tell me, Shirl... in the five years since we graduated, how many reunions have we had?

SHIRLEY

Six.

And after Shirley says that Laverne really "sharpened her darts" today, she added, "I love my reunions."  And Laverne admitted, "Oh, they're not all bad.  If it wasn't for the stupid games and prizes and the same nerds that always show up, it could be a lot of fun."

After Laverne onscreen says there were seven at last year's reunion, this shortly leads to a Hello Moment for the boys, but they're not even in the scene in this version of the script.  Here's how things went between "There were seven" and Laverne telling Shirley that she's not going to the reunion:

SHIRLEY

I don't understand.  What's not to like?

LAVERNE

Stop.  Let's start at the beginning.  Where do we always have the reunion?

SHIRLEY

At your father's pizza bowl.

LAVERNE

And who comes every year?

SHIRLEY

You...  me...  Lenny... Squiggy... Hector... Dotty... Hermie... and Prissy Nadler.

LAVERNE

Prissy doesn't count because she got pregnant and didn't graduate.  Think a minute, Shirley.  These are the same people we try to avoid the other three hundred sixty-four days of the year.

SHIRLEY

But we all have a good time once we get there.

LAVERNE

Oh... yeah... we have some great times.  First, we stand around talking about all the other places we'd rather be.  Then we reminisce about interesting things like the day Lenny cherry-bombed the boy's [sic] toilet or the time Dotty threw up in assembly.  Then, after an exciting anchovy pizza, we all join hands and sing our alma mater.  And, as tradition would have it, as we sing the words "Fillmore High... my life, my all..." Dotty throws up again.

SHILREY

This year it's gonna be different.  (THEN) Dotty has to work that night.

Onscreen, we got Laverne taking some carnations to the restroom and the boys comparing lunches.

Thoughts:

• On the one hand, I like the stronger emphasis on the boys as people Laverne wants to avoid, but on the other, I miss the colorful unseen classmates, like Buzz and Dotty.
• Class of 1954!  This makes the gang born 1936ish rather than 1938ish, although in both versions it is apparently 1959.  As the handwritten note on p. 2 says, "If they graduated at age 17-18, they're 22-23."  This would make Laverne's hatred of Karen in "Razzberries" for five years more plausible.
• We have here an instance where the filmed version is more out there than the scripted, with the Kleenex becoming toilet paper.
• Laverne goes into more detail on the reunions in the script than onscreen.
• Why isn't "Pizza Bowl" capitalized?
• Poor Prissy, with her ironic nickname.  Poor Dotty!
• How is Lenny cherry-bombing the restroom not at least a little interesting?
• We get a little preview of the alma mater in this version.
• Overall, the filmed version is tighter and snappier, but I kind of like the rambling oddities of this scene.