"With Time Off for Bad Behavior," Chapter One

Marc Sotkin, one of the writers and producers of Laverne & Shirley, has written a novel loosely based on his experiences in Hollywood.  It is free to download and so I will review at least some of it.  However, I will probably not judge the quality of it but rather pass on the fictionalized tidbits:

• I'm not going to go into the whole thing of narrator Barry Klein, a Jewish television writer-producer, cheating on his wife, unless this has some bearing on his scripts.
• I will note, however, that Barry's writing partner is a cokehead.
• It's 1979 and Barry works on a show called In the Swim, about "two girls, Connie and Patti, who leave their homes in Chicago to become lifeguards in L.A."
• The executive producer and creator of the show is Bobby Mitchell, "at forty-four, the hottest guy in all of TV."
• Most of Bobby's shows are variations on two girls from Place No. 1 moving to Place No. 2 to pursue some career, and they do very well in the ratings.  One of these shows is called Doing It Our Way.
• The one exception to Bobby's success is We Want It All, which is "mired at number sixty-six" and "is the story of eight girls from all over the place who live together and want to be dancers in Vegas."  (Sotkin co-wrote the episode "Blansky for the Defense.")
• This can't possibly be a satire of Garry Marshall, because Sotkin name-checks Norman Lear and Garry Marshall.  Also, Bobby is only 5'3" and has a 47-inch waist.
• "Ben Fisher plays Connie's crusty Uncle Sal on In the Swim.  Sal owns the bait shop on the show, above which Connie and Patti live, and right next door to Willy and Billy, two wacky morons who cut up chum for a living."
• Ben is a show-biz veteran with "mediocre" material, but in 1956 Bobby Mitchell became his joke writer.  And Bobby is very loyal.
• In the Swim is "probably the most emotionally taxing show being produced on network television."
• Its stars, Lorraine LaBarbara and Mimi Simms, are complete opposites.  Lorraine is "a big, busty blonde," and "not technically pretty, but with an earthy beauty that suggests a joy of life not that different from everyone's favorite waitress at the local diner." Mimi is "petite" and "manic."
• They hate each other because Lorraine, who plays Connie, is thought to be Bobby's favorite.  When Lorraine was three, Bobby cast her in a neighborhood production as Hitler's daughter, and she's been like a little sister ever since.  (Later in the chapter, we'll find out that Bobby is from Brooklyn.)
• Mimi is paranoid and counts her lines, so Bobby makes sure Lorraine has more lines, "just to piss Mimi off."
• Mimi has a voice like "the queen of the Munchkins" and "Chip 'n' Dale."
• "For no apparent reason, [the leads] both hate the writers.  Everyone hates Ben.  And nobody particularly likes Willy and Billy, the actual names of the actors who play Willy and Billy."
• And that's about it for backstage gossip for the next six or seven pages, unless you care about Barry's boring love life.
• Then on pp. 19-20 we learn that Mimi recently married Larry Brogan, a 32-year-old "drunk" and "womanizer" on his fourth marriage.  Mimi thinks she can keep him from "straying," although she's "a plain girl without much sex appeal."
• There's some more about how untalented bushy-eyebrowed Ben is, and how poor Barry has to choose between his wife and girlfriend.

So the big question here is, why hasn't Cindy Williams sued?  Not that anyone comes off well, but I can't imagine the late Penny Marshall minding too much how "Lorraine" is described, while Sotkin is truly vicious about "Mimi."  For that matter, I can't imagine Michael McKean being thrilled by the novel, although I'll reserve judgment on that until I can find out more about "Willy and Billy."  (I assume they are named after their characters because MMK and DLL had created "the boys" before LAS.)

Also, notice the clever way that Sotkin reversed the P & C initials.  No one will ever see through that!