"Life Is the Tar Pits" script, Scene E

And it's back to Cowboy Bill's "a bit later":

LENNY IS COMING OUT OF A PHONE BOOTH LOOKING DISAPPOINTED.  HE CROSSES TO FRANK WHO'S AT THE COUNTER.

FRANK

Still no answer?  You called her twenty times already.

LENNY

Do you got a dime I could borrow?

FRANK

You lose yours in the phone?

LENNY

No, but I think it's gettin' too thin.

FRANK HANDS LENNY A DIME AND LENNY CROSSES BACK TO THE PHONE BOOTH, MOUTHS A WISH TO HIS BONE NECKLACE, THEN SITS IN THE BOOTH AND DIALS RAPIDLY.  INTERCUT THE FOLLOWING CONVERSATION.

This was left out, and Lenny uses a pay phone on the wall, rather than a booth.

The next two and a half pages are mostly intact, except for obviously Lenny closing the booth door for privacy and then opening it to share the news that Karen got accepted into broadcasting school.  A few other changes:

• Lenny says, "Hi, Karen.  Lucky me, got you on the first try."
• Karen tells him, "We talked about this.  It was fun for three weeks.  But now we've both got to do what we've got to do," to which he replies, "I don't understand.  How can you be so close and then end it so quick?  Unless you're on the Titanic."
• When Frank goes to him, he says, "Come on, Len.  You knew she'd be leaving."
• His "In other words it's better to have loved and lost, then [sic] never to have loved at all" became the funnier "In other words, it's better to have loved and lost than to have lost and never loved at all."
• In the aired episode, Lenny says he's not worth worrying about, which is not in the script.

And then, in an episode without much of the girls, this was left out:

LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY ENTER.

LAVERNE

Hi, Pop.

FRANK

Hi, girls.  What're you doing here?

SHIRLEY

We don't have much time for lunch so, we thought we'd pick up something quick here.

FRANK

Keep away from the bus boys.

THE GIRLS CROSS TOWARDS THE SALAD BAR.  THEY START TO PREPARE THEIR SALADS.  SHIRLEY PUTS HERS ON A PLATE IN A NORMAL MANNER.  LAVERNE TOSES HER LETTUCE, BEANS, SPROUTS, TOMATOES, ETC. IN A PAPER BAG, CLOSES THE BAG, AND SHAKES IT UP.  SHE POURS SOME DRESSING ON IT AND DUMPS IT ON A PLASTIC PLATE TO GO.  SHIRLEY REACTS.

FRANK (CONT'D)

Hey, how come you girls come all the way down here.  I thought Bardwell's has a salad bar too.

SHIRLEY

They do.  But we knew things have been kinda slow lately, so we figured you could use our business.

FRANK

Hey, that's nice.  Okay, two salads, two sodys.  That'll be $3.37.

THE GIRLS TAKE THE SODAS AND START TOWARDS THE EXIT.

SHIRLEY

Just put it on our tab.  We're a little short of cash right now.

LAVERNE

And just for you, Pop, we'll be eating here everyday this week.

THE GIRLS EXIT.  FRANK LOOKS AFTER THEM FOR A BEAT.

FRANK

I dunno.  Sometimes you wanna hurt the one you love.

SQUIGGY ENTERS AS THEY ZOOM PAST.

The Frank & Squiggy part on the episode is similar, except that screen-Frank tells Squiggy that Karen just broke up with Lenny.  Also, instead of knocking over Mary the Waitress's tray, Squiggy was supposed to "pick up a chair and smash it to the floor," so here's what came after Squiggy asks what he's done:

FRANK

You just broke a twenty dollar chair.

SQUIGGY

(EXITING QUICKLY) Bill me.

FRANK

It's nice to see the lunchtime trade picking up.

Here are a bunch of thoughts:

• I don't think a phone booth works with either set design or direction and I'm glad it was changed.
• Lenny trying to get through to Karen is a lot more dramatic in the script than onscreen, with Frank getting involved in the drama.
• So it is three weeks total.  Does this mean Scene C is "three weeks" after Scene A, rather than after Scene B?
• I have mixed feelings about Karen's "We've talked about this..." line.  In the script, as compared to what would air, we and Lenny are told early on that this may all end within three-ish weeks, while it sort of comes out of nowhere when we get to this phone scene onscreen.  But her phrasing in the script is a little callous, like it was just a fling and she's unaware that he fell for her.  Screen-Karen looks genuinely sad about hurting Lenny.  As with David in "Moving In," she's a more appealing character onscreen than on paper.
• Frank, who's presumably seeing them eat there every day for three/five weeks, knew she'd be leaving and knew Lenny knew, but it's a little insensitive to point it out that way.  (It honestly sounds more like a Carmine line, down to calling him "Len.")  Still, it is nice to have a rare Frank & Lenny scene, so I'm glad this was mostly kept, especially since Frank is avuncular with Lenny here.
• Yeah, Girls, what are you doing here?  Your cameo is unfunny and breaks up the rhythm of the scene, although it does at least avoid the timing onscreen, where Squiggy somehow doesn't see Lenny exiting the building as he enters.  I get that it might be nice to have the nominal stars of the show in more than one scene (this is after all Season Seven, not Season Eight), but why bother if this is the result?
• Their appearance doesn't even make sense on its own terms.  They have no time for lunch but they pass up the salad bar at Bardwell's to come get a salad at Laverne's father's restaurant.  (Where, in both script and aired episode, the chili makes your heart feel like it's been wrenched from your belly.)  They don't call ahead their order to have it waiting for them but instead get salads, which they have to gather (in their admittedly characteristic ways).  And then, it's to help Frank's business, but they have him put it on their tab.
• Why is Frank worried about Shirley picking up bus boys?  It would make more sense (especially in the easy-Laverne era) for the girls' lines to be swapped.
• One dollar in 1966 (which I think is when this is set) = $8 in today's money.
• Frank's line about hurting the one you love is a follow-up to his string of "comforting" clichés to Lenny.  It's not much of a payoff, but there you are.  
• Squiggy breaks a $20 chair, which I think would be hard to do, especially when you're in a hurry.
• But, hey, at least the lunchtime trade is picking up.