"Moving In" script, Scene D

And now we go to David's apartment, still at night:

THE APARTMENT IS A LARGE STUDIO WITH A LIVING ROOM IN ONE AREA AND A KITCHEN IN ANOTHER.  THERE IS A WELL-FURNISHED FISH TANK CONTAINING TWO FISH ON THE DRESSER NEAR THE BED.  A GLASS LID COVERS MOST OF THE TANK.  THERE ARE ALSO A LOT OF ATHLETIC TROPHIES AROUND.  A DOOR LEADS TO THE BATHROOM.  DAVID AND LAVERNE ENTER.  LAVERNE SEEMS NERVOUS AND THE SITUATION IS SOMEWHAT AWKWARD.  THE FLOOR OF THE APARTMENT IS PARTIALLY CARPETED, THE REST OF THE FLOOR IS TILED, COLD TILE, AT THAT.

For the aired episode, they added David saying, "OK, Sweetheart, this is it.  This is home."

After Laverne says that everyone has their little quirks, she continued, "Mine is hair on the toothbrush."  What's odd is there was an added line in Scene B about hair on a toothbrush, so I wonder if this line was filmed and then dropped.  

On the episode, there's a quick insert of Shirley and Frank watching the seven o'clock news and then we return to Scene D.  Here's what the script has instead of that time-skip:

LAVERNE HEADS FOR A CLOSET.  DAVID OPENS THE CLOSET.  IT'S TOTALLY FULL.  BOTH STARE.

DAVID

Not a lot of closet space.  But I'll fix that.

DAVID TAKES SOME CLOTHES OFF A NAIL ON THE CLOSET DOOR AND SQUEEZES THEM ONTO A CLOSET SHELF.

DAVID (CONT'D)

You can have this nail.

LAVERNE

That'll be perfect.  Really it's quite a nail.  A big nail.

DAVID

I have a bunch more in my tool box.  If I can find my tool box.

LAVERNE

Maybe if this works out, I'll get a hook.

DAVID EXITS INTO THE BATHROOM.  LAVERNE SCOUTS AROUND FOR SPACE, AND WALKS OVER TO THE FISH TANK.

LAVERNE (CONT'D)

(TAPPING ON TANK) Hi, fishies.  Hi, Moby, hi, Dick.  Aw, you guys aren't getting any fresh air.

LAVERNE MOVES THE COVER ON THE FISH TANK.

LAVERNE (CONT'D)

I don't know why he puts this stupid cover on here anyway.

ONE OF THE FISH JUMP [sic] OUT ONTO THE FLOOR

LAVERNE (CONT'D)

Oh, that's why.  Cause you stupid fish like to jump out of the tank.

LAVERNE PUTS THE COVER BACK ON THE TANK, THEN GETS ON HER HANDS AND KNEES AND FRANTICALLY LOOKS FOR THE FISH.

LAVERNE (CONT'D)

(WHISTLES) Here boy, here fishey...

SHE CONTINUES TO CRAWL AROUND.

LAVERNE (CONT'D)

Moby's getting scared.

SHE FINALLY SPOTS THE FISH FLOPPING ON THE RUG.  SHE GRABS HIM.

LAVERNE (CONT'D)

Oops, you got a little piece of fuzz on you.  (SHE REMOVES FUZZ)  Good as new.

SHE PUTS THE FISH BACK IN THE TANK.  LAVERNE PICKS UP THE SWEATERS AND CROSSES IN TO THE KITCHEN.  LAVERNE BEGINS NEATLY PUTTING HER CLOTHES IN THE OVEN AS DAVID ENTERS FROM THE BATHROOM.

DAVID

I can't find my tool box.  But I found a couple of coffee cans.

LAVERNE

That's okay.  I can put my socks in them.

DAVID

Look, you seem a bit nervous.

Then he suggests she get used to the surroundings.

David lightly kissing her, and the two of them saying "I love you" a few times were added, but mostly the last page is the same in both versions.  Laverne was supposed to play an unspecified song badly and then do a duet on "If I Had a Hammer" with David, rather than going solo on "Hammer" and then the two of them playing "classical guitar" in bad Spanish.

Some thoughts:

• The fish tank and the sports trophies are there, but Laverne does not interact with the fish in the aired episode.  It would've been a chance for slapstick, but I'm not sure if the shift in tone would've worked.  In the script, it seems like she's familiar with the fish, not just knowing their names (another hint, as with the Great Expectations papers David has to grade, that he's an English teacher), but also being aware that he leaves the cover on their tank, although not why.  And she apparently can tell "Moby" from "Dick."
• "Cold tile at that," and we would see David discouraging her from walking on his white carpet.  These are not welcoming furnishings.
• Also, David wanted Laverne to move in, and yet he's made no serious accommodation for her wardrobe.  She's reduced to putting her clothes in the oven!  (I hope she's going to mention it before dinner.)
• I could see David's tool box being in the bathroom if he was fixing the sink or something, but coffee cans?
• I have to say it, David is more of a jerk in the script than on the episode, at least so far.  I wonder if the more affectionate David is due to the casting of Paul Sand, who did after all play Penny's brother-in-law on Friends and Lovers about seven years earlier.