"Laverne & Shirley": The Collector's Edition, Volume Seven

The theme "Crimes of Passion" is not exactly one that immediately springs to mind when thinking of Laverne & Shirley.  (I'd have put together a "Talent Show" volume, but oh well.)  However, "Like Lucy and Ethel before them, Laverne and Shirley are easily duped by criminals.  The best friends, blinded by love or swept up in their dreams, frequently find themselves in a heap of trouble.  But Laverne and Shirley have a secret weapon to fight off any crook: their steadfast friendship.  As Isaac Asimov [!!] attested in TV Guide, 'Laverne is a man-crazy fighter and Shirley is a prim and proper maiden who doesn't like to sweat, but each places friendship first.' "

"Dog Day Blind Dates" from Season One starts us off: "Laverne and Shirley's dates con the girls into bowling after closing time at the Pizza Bowl so they can blow a hole through the wall of the men's room into the bank next door and hold the girls as hostages.  Note: Fred Willard (Charles) starred as Jerry Hubbard on Fernwood 2-Night and hosted Real People."  Willard had a heck of a lot more credits than that by 1997, but whatever.

There's a Stay Tuned, the first in awhile for this collection, and one I vaguely remember from the time.

SQUIGGY: We will be right back after this massage.

LENNY: That's "message."

Then we have both parts of "Murder on the Moose Jaw Express":

• "While Laverne and Shirley are taking a train to Canada to attend the opening of the new Shotz Brewery, a man with a knife in his back enters their compartment, gives them a roll of top secret film, utters the mysterious clue 'Beware of bald men' [sic], and falls dead.  Note: Conrad Janis (Conductor) starred as Fred McConnell on Mork and Mindy.  Charlene Tilton starred as Lucy Ewing on Dallas.  Wilfred [sic] Hyde-White starred as Emerson Marshall on The Associates."  
• "When Lenny and Squiggy are kidnapped by the elusive murderer on the train to Moose Jaw, Canada, Laverne disguises Shirley as a bald man to catch the killer.  Note: Scatman Crothers (Porter) starred as Louie on Chico and the Man and Mingo in Roots and starred in The Shining.  Roger Carmel (Mr. Green) starred as Roger Buell on the Mothers-in-Law."

For the Stay Tuneds, Laverne's "Shirl and I will be back in a minute, so don't go away" is followed by Shirley's similar "There's more coming up, so don't you go away."

Lastly, we have Season Seven's "The Defiant One": "The police mistake Shirley for a bank robber and handcuff her to a member of the gang, Louie Armstrong, who decides to make a run for it, taking Shirley along for the ride--until Frank DeFazio knocks him unconscious with a toaster.  [Spoiler!]  Note: Richard Moll (Louie Armstrong) starred as Nostradamus "Bull" Shannon on Night Court."  This time, the Stay Tuned is Shirley's "No, no, don't touch that dial.  We'll be right back."

If they had to go with this theme, I would've preferred "Fakeout at the Stakeout" instead of "The Defiant One."  Or they could've done "Perfidy in Blue," where many crimes are committed or at least planned in Shirley's dream, some of them even "crimes of passion."