"The Note," Scenes A through D

We start at the "Burbank Business Association's monthly meeting - night":

THE MEETING IS TAKING PLACE IN A LARGE ROOM.  A SIGN ON THE WALL READS "BURBANK BUSINESS ASSOCIATION."  THERE IS A SPEAKER'S STAND AT THE HEAD TABLE.  THE ROOM IS SCATTERED WITH OTHER TABLES THAT SEAT MOSTLY OLDER COUPLES.  AT ONE TABLE SITS [sic] LAVERNE, CARMINE, RHONDA AND SQUIGGY.  LENNY IS PACING BEHIND THEM.  FRANK APPROACHES THE SPEAKER'S STAND AND GRABS THE MICROPHONE.

FRANK

It's really an honor to be your host for this month's meeting.

APPLAUSE.

FRANK (CONT'D)

As long as people still need stuff, I predict better business in Burbank.

THE CROWD POLITELY APPLAUDS.

ANGLE ON:

LAVERNE, CARMINE, RHONDA AND SQUIGGY AT THEIR TABLE.

LENNY

Laverne, I can't believe we let you drag us here.

SQUIGGY

Five bucks says the guy on the left drops dead doing the Tarantella.

LAVERNE

C'mon, I promised my Pop that we'd give him our support.  But I gotta admit, I didn't promise that I'd stay awake.

They skipped that opening and went right to Frank announcing the dance contest.  They dropped Lenny's line after Laverne and Carmine win the dance contest, "If it couldn't be me, I'm glad it was you two."  Lenny sitting down and eating the chicken from Cowboy Bill's was added, as was Laverne and Carmine trying to leave.  

Another addition was the exchange about Shirley never having a baby before not being Carmine's fault.  The script instead has Carmine saying, "I just thought it would be manly to own my own chain saw," and Laverne telling him, "You wanna be manly?  --  Here, you carry the crib."

Scene B is set in the "apartment - later that evening," and it all made it to air.  Scene C is in the "bedroom" with continuous action, so it's set right afterwards, and it's also remarkably faithful.  So let's move on to Scene D, at "Cowboy Bill's - day - two days later."

They left out Laverne saying, "She took the iron, too.  Did she have a good reason for that?"  They added Laverne calling the note "chintzy" and Carmine pointing out that Shirley left all her friends, not just Laverne.  The first significant difference, however, is that onscreen Squiggy says that he and Lenny agreed that Laverne can move in with them, while in this script he says, "Laverne, your misery is under the dam.  Me and Lenny voted, and now that Shirley's gone, I'm gonna move in with you."

The onscreen scene ends with Laverne saying she's just going to live by herself.  Here's how it goes in the script:

LAVERNE

Hold it, guys.  Nobody's tellin' me what to do.  I can think for myself.  If Shirley can have her own life, so can I.  I don't need a roommate.  I'm living alone.

CARMINE

What're you gonna do when the rent's due on Tuesday?

LAVERNE

Well, maybe I will get a roommate.

She exits and the first act ends.

A few notes on "The Note":

• That opening is definitely droppable.  The first Lenny line feels out of character, in the sense that it would work just as well if not better coming from Carmine.  The Squiggy line is vaguely Squiggy though.
• The rest of the first scene is more polished onscreen, not a great scene but better.
• Two days doesn't seem like enough time to mourn such a long, close friendship.
• In what universe would Lenny agree to Squiggy moving in with Laverne and without him?
• This scene does confirm my headcanon that Carmine took over as manager after Sonny left.
• This Laverne is more open to getting a roommate than the one onscreen.